Sharon, 45, Vancouver, Canada

My soul mate arrived in my life when I turned 43.  He is a lovely man and our dream is to have a child.  We have tried and lost two babies over the past two years. I have now reached the magic age of 45, and have faced the realization that I may not have a child of my own.  However, my doctors are still  very encouraging as I have been able to get pregnant.  Trying to have a clean and healthy lifestyle. Organic foods, time outdoors, no coffee or alcohol and key supplements.  My maternal grandmother had healthy children in her 40's.

Would love to hear from others who are trying and have been successful.  Thank you ladies for sharing your stories, and encouragement.

Code 513
Posted 10 October 2013

Catherine, 43, Loughborough, UK

I'm 43 and my daughter is nearly 3 (I only met my husband 4.5 years ago). She took 9 months to conceive (3 of those months I used Glucophage tablets for PCOS). We have been trying for a 2nd child for 18 months using Glucophage (and I miscarried nearly a year ago). I have tried acupuncture, homeopathy, top vitamin supplements and a diet fit for a king (I have a BMI of 24). I've had my blood checked and I'm still ovulating. Due to expense I can not get IVF. We are giving it another 7 months until our deadline of May 2014. I know a few women who have had their first 2 children in their 40's (mainly IVF);  in fact my neighbour managed to have 3 between 40-43 with no IVF! I think it must be a fate thing as there is always some women who have miracle children. I do not wish to adopt/foster. I just wonder what else there is left to try. There are books for sale about this topic, and as I am not working at the moment I can't afford to waste money. An article on the Bounty website said that 25% of couples now account for solo child families because of age/fertility issues/career and rising costs. I know I am lucky to have a healthy child but it is difficult when she asks for a brother or sister.

Code 512
Posted 9 October 2013

Maxine, 43, UK

I would really like to 'meet a mum' who could give me some advice.

I am 43 and I got married last year. I have a daughter who is 17. My husband has no children; he would love a child but has left the decision up to me. As much as I would love another child, and a child with my husband, all I can think about is when the child is 16 I would be 60 and it would be like having a 'grandmother' as a mum; would I see my grandchildren? My daughter really does not like the idea of me having another baby. I am so confused; can anyone help?

Code 511
Posted 29 July 2013

Marg, 40, Melbourne, Australia

I am 40 years old, have 3 children and have just got with my new partner who is 25 years old and has no children. I had my tubes clamped 12 years ago and was looking at getting them reversed. I am trying to find somewhere cheap in Melbourne Victoria Australia. I was hoping someone could help? Also, what are my chances of conceiving?

Code 510
Posted 9 July 2013

Robbie, 49, London, UK

Can anyone please help? I feel very much alone with my situ. I am considering going for one round of IVF - a more gentle version than the usual. I've not any any previously. Im very much alone - an on and off partner who absolutely doesn't want a child anyway, but who is supplying the sperm.  (Simply as he promised and we keep splitting because of all this as he does not, definitely, want a child). I'm contemplating egg donation, though with my my age, the fact that I will be alone and with very little in terms of a support system, plus I'm unemployed and live in London - I feel I'm being unfair on the child before it's been born!  The only thing I have is plenty of love for this potential child....

Please can anyone advise? I've been told all the risks at conceiving at my age and they are many. Down's Syndrome especially. Plus miscarriage. (I think I've had two natural miscarriages already in the very early weeks; late, then very heavy period). I'm worried for several reasons and I've no one to talk to. It's all making me quite ill. I dont wish to moan but feel very alone. Also, am I wasting my time and the very little money I have, trying IVF at least this once?

After that, if it doesn't work, I'm trying egg donation.  But even that, I'm still unsure about - being someone else's egg and so on, but everyone is saying this is the only way for me. (All NHS staff has been very dismissive). Plus I've no time to waste! I really want a child and circumstances didn't allow until now, but this is my last chance, given I've just turned 49. (My guy made me delay.) But at my age, and with little support, how will I cope if any of it works? So close to 50, I'm actually finding I'm more tired and extremely concerned I will be unable to help/look after/play fully with the child. Plus the prejudice folk will show. Do you know if there are there any fertility counsellors I can talk to in London? Time is of the essence!

Can anyone please offer ANY advice on any of the above? Plus info/forums/hospitals in, say, India where it may be easier to try and get egg donation or IVF cheaper. Anything to help would be great please. And finding other buddies in similiar situ too?

Code 509
Posted 12 March 2013

Samantha, 43, UK

Hi, I am 43 years old. I conceived with my son just after my 40th Birthday and he was born December 2010. I currently have a coil fitted and I am looking into getting it removed as my husband and I would like to try for another baby.

My husband and I have been together since 2005 and had suffered several miscarriages for which we were seeing a consultant for, but we decide that we had had enough upset and would stop trying, so to carry our son full term was amazing.

In past relationships I have undergone donor inseminstion and ICSI/ IVF treatment to no avail.

When I conceived my son I had lost 5 stone in weight (as I wanted to get in better shape before I was 40).  Whilst pregnant I had to take aspirin as prescribed by consultant. I also cut out caffeine from my drinks.  I stopped smoking at the start of 2009 so that wasn't and issue and didn't drink alcohol.

Towards the end of the pregnancy I suffered one episode of high blood pressure probably due to the fact that I'd been kept waiting over 2 hours for an appointment (notes not put out for clinic).

My labour was induced, I ended up having a forceps delivery. A few days after I had to have a 2 unit blood transfusion due to very low hB. My son was in NICU with breathing problems, sepsis and low blood sugar made a good recovery.

I am looking to be in touch with someone thinking about attempting or has tried for another child at the same age range to share worries/progress with.

Code 508
Posted 4 March 2013

Dee, 43 Alabama, US

I have a 6 year old, and I was 36 when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. She has often asked for brothers and sisters and after getting divorced and got together with younger man, who would love to give my daughter her biggest wish. The plan is set into action!

However, I’m 43... nearly 44. I don’t see myself as old and my partner doesn’t either. After a very stressful time with the ex, my doctor says that I have to relax and get back to being the person I was before... to be able to conceive. It’s a lot of stress since I feel my time is running out... so if there is anyone out there that is in the same boat as myself... please get back to me... I would love to hear your story.

We are excited for the day we have to tell my daughter that she is going to be a big sister. She has been asking for about 4 years now. So keep your fingers crossed for us.

Code 507
Posted 26 February 2013

Linda, 48, Australia

I have three children, aged 20, 15 and 6. I had my 6 year old at  41 (no issues) and have just accidentally fallen pregnant at 48! I thought I was past it and although I have not had any menopause symptoms yet, I thought my age would protect me.

Don't know what I am going to do at this stage, but thought it might be inspiration to other readers. I am really sick and have very strong pregnancy symptoms, so am not too worried about miscarrying at this point.

Hubby wants me to terminate as he is worried about defects. Also, we are sort of separated at present although still in contact obviously.

My 20 year old and 15 year old are giving me hell - generally! They don't know about this and I don't know whether I want another evil teen in 12-15 years!!!!

My kids and My elderly mother would be appalled if they knew, as would all my friends!

Sort of excited though…..

Code 506
Posted 19 November 2012

Lisa, 41, UK

I will be 42 in December this year and I would love to strike up a friendship with someone with similar circumstances to me. Not only am I an older wanna be Mum (incidentally I have a 20-year-old son and an 18-month-old grandson!), I am hoping to have a baby with my much younger partner. :0)

This has been met with the usual comments - in particular my partner's family who no longer speak to me (their loss!).

I have been trying for about a year and have just been prescribed Metformin as I have PCOS.

Code 505
Posted 29 October 2012

Bebe, 43, Adelaide, Australia

I would love to meet and chat with other older first time mums and hear about their experiences.

Unfortunately, through a series of tragic life events I didn't have the opportunity to have a child earlier and would dearly love just one angel in my life if possible. I am 43 and my dear man is 31. We have just been through all the tests and apart from the age of my eggs look good to go, yet have not had any success. Talking to doctors is really getting me down and I've had a few awful experiences which have crushed me. From what I can tell, most think I've waited deliberately and are pointedly blunt and cold about our chances.

Code 504
Posted 26 September 2012

Jana, California, US

I'm so happy to find this site! I had my first son at 40, after losing a baby at 17 and a half weeks and had second son at 42...I now find myself accidentally pregnant {more accidental than usual] and I am terrified and feeling like my husband.and I will be harshly judged. Just need to chat with some people who understand.

Code 503
Posted 11 July 2012

Carolyn, Massachusetts, 52

I became pregnant unexpectedly at age 45 and delivered my son in March of 2006 at age 46.

Adam is my one and only child. I would have stayed "on the fence" about motherhood forever if he had not barged into our lives! Now I only wish I'd started sooner, as I'm past the point where I can provide him with siblings. So, we're moving forward with preparations for adoption.

Motherhood over 40 has been exhausting for me at times, but has also added so many wonderful dimensions to my life, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! Adam is our little gift from God.

Code 502
Posted 25 May 2012

Kerrie, 46, Sydney, Australia

Kerrie has had two children in her 40s and shares her story on one of the experiences' pages. She has said that she is happy to chat to anyone about her experiences. If you would like to get in touch with Kerrie after reading her story, then please do email me with your details and I will pass them onto her. Jan

Code 501
Posted 16 May 2012

Marilyn, 40, Western Cape, South Africa

I'm 40 and trying to conceive again after 3 miscarriages. I have a daughter aged 7 years. I'm an South African citizen staying in the most beautiful Western Cape in Kuilsriver.

I would like to correspond with mums from any where in the world.

Code 500
Posted 16 May 2012

Lorraine, 42, UK

I have a daughter who is almost 8-years-old and have just had another baby 6 weeks ago.  I am struggling with my worries about what other people think of me having a baby at 42.  I feel like shutting myself away from everyone.  I really would like to hear from other mums in the UK, who have just had a baby in their early forties or have just had their second child in their early forties.

Code 499
Posted 22 April 2012

Susan, 43, Perth, Australia

I'm 43-years-old and am trying for baby number two. I have a 6-year-old and I live in Perth, Western Australia. I would love to correspond with women from Perth.

Code 498
Posted 18 April 2012

Claire, 48, North East of England

I'm soon to be 48 and have 5 children between the age of 28 and 14. Even though I have a granddaughter and another on the way, my husband and I are desperate to have another baby.  We have only been trying for 4 months but it is our secret as I worry about people's reactions.  I am afraid to talk to my GP because I take a lot  of medication and I don't think  he will support me and of course because of my age!

Anyway, I'm feeling a little lonely with it all so it would be lovely to hear from someone who is going through a similar situation 

Code 497
Posted 8 April 2012

Fran, 52, London, UK

I am now 52 (!) and am still wanting to have a third child. My husband and I married 30 years ago and have two boys aged 26 and 21. I was 38 when I began to want another child but at the time I thought I was too old and I hoped the desire would pass. Seven years later - aged 45  - we finally decided to try - for the first time since my last boy had been born. Two miscarriages followed and once again I tried to get over the unrelenting desire to have another child.

This constant and overwhelming desire seems every bit as strong despite the passing years or the fact that we have experienced parenthood. My husband has huge reservations about our ages and whether this is fair on the child. Notwithstanding, after much soul searching he has agreed for us to explore donor egg ivf (we have an appointment at a clinic later this month). 

Many friends of a similar age simply cannot understand why I should want a baby now and frankly family members were very critical when I fell pregnant in my late forties - as far as they were concerned I should be thinking about holidays and 'enjoying myself' rather than this! I haven't shared any this with family members since.

I would be interested in hearing from anyone who can relate to what I'm experiencing particularly anyone who already has grown up children ( people have said to me that they can't understand this broodiness because it's not as if I haven't had kids after all).

Code 496
16 March 2012

Char, 46, New York, US

I am desperate to have a baby.  I have dedicated most of my life to my business and my 2 kids ages 22 and 18 (both boys).  Throughout the years, tried many time to have another baby, but hubby's erectile dysfunction has been an issue l (He's 59)  as well  as busy, stressful, working life.  Since the 18 year old is in college romance is rekindled and I realize that I have been longing for more babies for many many years. This feeling for a baby is very deep and profound I have always wanted more kids.  

Started to call fertility clinics (best ones in the U.S.A)  and kept hearing the horrible stats on me having my own biological child with my own eggs.  After 45 its like 1% with invitro !!!  Well, this was a shock as I didn't know when women hit 38 your eggs are bad quality and limited you lose fertility each year like a waterfall (not even a fawcet (per one clinic)   I was in shock and each clinic I called made me more upset when they told me the horrible chances of becoming pregnant with my own eggs. When you say your age  (46) they start talking about donor eggs ( again these are the best in the U.S.A)  If I knew this years ago I would not have waited. No one, not even my gyne told me my eggs were old and limited !!! 

I am an educated woman and well just didn't know.  In fact, I cried so much last month after making these calls my period only lasted 3 days and now came in 22 days not my normal 28 day cycle.   I am here in New York seeing a really awesome Dr. who specializes in (older women). His motto is "It only takes one good egg"  He does a very gentle approach to IVF.  Never said anything about the dreaded donor egg issue. 

Looking for friends and hope.  Life is nothing without children.

Code 495
Posted 8 March 2012

Judi, 42, Pennsylvania, USA

I have two boys 22 and 23 and a 17 year old stepson. My husband and I just had a baby girl in Oct. 2010. We had her IVF and were blessed with success the first time.  I was 41 when I delivered her.  When I expressed fear to my wonderful ob/gyn she said if she was forty she would have another baby, not to worry.

I am so grateful for my children. However we are considering doing it again so she doesn’t have to grow up without the joy of a close sibling and because we have enjoyed every minute of this life changing event, God has blessed us. Her brothers are crazy about her and she loves them, but they are so much older and are leading their own lives.

Interested in some feedback from anyone who has done IVF twice. I am worried about birth defects. I wouldn’t want to be unfair to the little one.

Code 494
Posted 7 March 2012

Kiran, 45, India

I have been TTC since 3½years. My husband is 59 and not very keen though but I am quite keen to have a baby of my own.

I am not open to the idea of donor eggs but now have become more accepting to the idea of frozen donor sperm.

Just a bit of info: About 16years ago I had an induced abortion due to an unfortunate turn of events and the baby was not of my husband as I was not married then.

So I think I am suffering from secondary infertility, but this I am saying because I am assuming my husband's sperm count is good though he has never tested it.

I am wondering if any of you ladies have tried IUI with frozen donor sperms at 45years age and succeeded?

Code 493
Posted 23 February 2012

Maria, 54, Brazil

I am 54-years-old, Brazilian, and have a great dream: becoming a mother. So I would like to make friends and exchange experiences with women who were or are trying to be mother. Currently I live in Brazil, but I have lived in Sweden and also have Swedish citizenship. I really like making new friends, especially with people who are in the same boat as me.

Code 492
Posted 6 February 2012

Stella, 41, California, US

I'm 41 and got pregnant (accidentally) at 40. At 8 weeks there was a heart beat.  At about 9 - 10 weeks, there was no heartbeat.  I passed the pregnancy around 12 - 13 weeks.

We then started trying again and have not had any luck for about a year now. 

We are planning to start IVF in the next few months.

I would love to have an opportunity to write to any or all of the women above, so I can give and get encouragement.

Code 491
Posted 1 February 2012

Anne, 39

I turned 39 on 30th December 2011.  My partner and I do not have any children so would love to become parents.  Before I came across your site I was so put off by all  the negative opinions of so called experts that I nearly gave up!  I did fall pregnant last May after our first try, but had a miscarriage. I split up from my partner and have met someone new.  My nan was 46 when she had her last child naturally, so there is hope.

I would like to chat to other mothers in my position.

Code 490
Posted 1 February 2012

Pamela, 43, California, US

I am married and I have 7 children and 2 stepchildren ranging from 5 to 24 years.  I had 5 children and my husband 2 and we had 2 together.I had a tubal ligation after my last daughter in 2006 and just had a reversal done because it had dramatically affected my health.  I am less then two weeks post op and thinking a lot about the possibility of pregnancy.  I have mixed feelings.  Sometimes I think no way, I am too old and I finally put my last child in school!  Then sometimes I think of how great it would be.  My hormones are going to take a while to regulate and we can't even try until after the middle of March to conceive if that is our desire.  I want to honor God and trust in him for my family size but I am scared at the same time.  If any of you relate to the feeling of fear I would love to talk with you.  On top of all that I am a grandmother to one baby girl and I am sure there will be more coming soon.  I have decided to treat my body as though it were going to conceive and start exercising, eating better and taking vitamins just in case.  As with many of you, my family and friends who know I can now get pregnant think it's crazy, but I am used to that having already had 7 kids. 

Code 489
Posted 30 January 2012

Rachel, 46, Melbourne, Australia

I have been trying to conceive since 2009 with my second husband. I am 46 and he is nearly 30. We have tried ovulation induction with no success. Doctors have said  I might have chance with IVF or donor eggs but my husband will not agree to these. I have been trying acupuncture and Chinese herbs since June 2011. I have also started to take amazon herbs for last month but still no luck. I would like to meet other mums who have been TTC like me.

Code 488
Posted 5 January 2012

Shelley, 41, Ontario, Canada

I am a 41-year-old woman and my husband had a vasectomy reversal last June. I have 4 previous children and he has 1. We performed the at home spermcheck fertility test and it was positive. I have started taking Fertilaid for women. We seem to have several things in our way - the Vas reversal and the age factor for me. I'd feel much more confident if I knew anyone was once in the same boat as us, and had success. His vasectomy was 18-years-old; however, we did have the microsurgery and it seems to have worked, though we don't know about motility.(he won't get a test performed at a clinic).

I used to get pregnant so easily - too easily, so this is getting very hard to wrap my head around. I still have periods to the day so menopause hasn't reared its ugly head yet.

Please help - some reassurance would be greatly appreciated at this point.

Code 487
Posted 5 January 2012

Sheri, 47, Jacksonville, Florida, US 

I am a 47 year old mom with 3 children, aged 19, 8 and 5. I had my tubes tied in 2006 with the birth of my son at the age of 42. This past month, I skipped my period for the first time ever outside of a bonafide pregnancy. While I am thinking that my symptoms could be 'early' menopause, all that I know tells me that I am pregnant. I have all the classic signs of pregnancy, including 'morning sickness' which is a daily routine. If you are an older mom who has had your tubes tied, but God had other plans for you, I would love to hear from you. I will be making an appointment with my doctor this week.

Code  486
Posted 3 January 2012

Katerina, 41, Czech Republic

I am interested to write and contact with other ladies hoping to be a mother after 41 like me.

I am aged 41, from Czech and my husband is Persian, aged 32. We are very happy together and have been trying for a baby for the last 5 months. I feel every month many emotions and am disappointed after seeing no result, especially because I am running out of time.We are both healthy. Any advice or experiences?

Wish good luck to all of you.

Code 485
Posted 29 December 2012

Kirsten, 51, New Mexico, US

Hi, I had my first wonderful daughter just after my 50th birthday and am now pregnant from a donor egg at 51. I had a wonderful uncomplicated pregnancy. This time I am a bit more conscious of my age and want to establish a strong support system with some other women.  We live in the country and want to rear our children in the influence of nature.  Can anyone out there relate to this?

Code 484
Posted 21 December 2011

Aleia, 38, Pittsburgh, US

I love pregnancy and childbirth, child rearing.  I will be 39 in February 2012.  I would love to be penpals with anyone who is willing.   I am not pregnant now, but I have 3 children ages 2, 8 and 12.  I want two more children.  I hope God will bless me to have two more and take care of all five!!!!

Sincerely, I love family.  Children make the world a better place.  Moms of all ages need support and encouragement to remain calm and endure!!!

Code 483
Posted 19 December 2011

Veronica, 45, US

My name is Veronica I turned 45 in November and new husband (Married in February 2011) have been trying to conceive for just about a year.  We have both been to the doctor, his sperm count is triple the normal, not bad for a 45 about to be 46 year old!  As for me all my hormone levels are normal and the ultra sound showed that everything looks good.  My cycle are like clock work and have always been.

I have one child she is 23, but my husband's ex-wives were both unable to have children.  He would love nothing more than to have a child and so would I.  I did get pregnant in April of this past year but miscarried on Father's Day it was devastating to both of us but we both knew something just wasn't right from the very beginning.  The doctor is very supportive and encouraged us to keep trying and so we do. 

We agree that fertility treatments are not for us, if it is God's plan for us to have children than we will.  We try to stay positive but it is discouraging each month as we hold our breath and wait to see if I get my period.  Well today is one of those days and when I awoke this morning I found that yet again we are not pregnant.  HELP!  Our family (for the most part) is very supportive of our decision as are our friends but no one really understands the monthly frustration of the wait and see game.  Although I have a family history of woman who have children into their 40's, neither side of the family has a history of birth defects, we don't seem to be able to get pregnant.

I would love to interact with other woman going through the same thing who understand the frustrations, who have been successful in getting pregnant naturally, and have any advice to share.

Code 482
Posted 6 December 2011

Nancy, 45, Arizona, US

I just turned 45 Oct 2011 and got married for the first time in July 2011 to my husband - his first marriage also - who is 12 years younger then me.  I have two grown children; he has none and we both really want a child together.  We started infertility treatments in July but to no avail.  We are considering moving onto IUI next month.  We have been using clomid with injectables and timed intercourse. I could really use some encouraging news out there from other women around my age that it is really possible to get pregnant.  I had three eggs this month but no pregnancy.  And there are some many sites and postings saying that our eggs are just too old to have a child (with our own eggs).

I don't think I have ever wanted/needed anything else so much in my life.  My husband and I are so much in love and would love to have a child of our own  He does not want to use donor eggs and realistically we are unable to afford donor eggs anyway.  The question is am I too old and wasting money on infertility treatments or is it really possible.

Code 481
Posted 21 November 2011

Kim 43, Las Vegas, NV, USA (Updated)

Updated message 21 November 2011

Update. Thanksgiving weekend brings us into week 26 and our third trimester! All is going well. Have had CVS and amniocentesis testing. Both came back normal healthy baby girl. They have had a cardiologist look at her through ultrasound, all good there too. This pregnancy has been really pretty easy, no complications yet. Feeling great and surprising doctors. Can't wait to meet our girl! Her name will be Lillian Joann.

Updated message 13 July 2011:

The doctors are shocked that we conceived naturally and that I was able to get pregnant at all. So right away they order blood work and ultrasound tests. At the time of the ultra sound i was just a few days past 5 weeks’ pregnant, 3 gestational weeks. They didn’t see a heartbeat and said my sack was tear drop shaped and that they believed i had or was miscarrying based on that. I’ve had no spotting or cramping, a little morning sickness, but not bad. Overall I feel great. They repeated blood testing for hormone levels again. The Dr called me later in the day with the results. My levels had gone from 550 to 8500 and she was surprised to tell me I was still pregnant and it appears to be a normal healthy pregnancy. They want to repeat the ultrasound after 19 July because then I will be 7 1/2 weeks and it should have a detectable heartbeat.

Original Message

Hi, I just turned 43 last week. I have a 4½-year-old son from my previous marriage. My present husband has no children of his own and desperately wants one or more. He and I both raised 2 stepchildren to adulthood each in our previous marriages and that can be birth control in itself (lol). And for both of us it was in our younger years. My son was my decision and not my ex’s and consequently he mandated a permanent form of birth control, although he would not have a vasectomy. So I had an IUD after the birth of my son. Not sure if that's affecting my ability to get pregnant. I would not allow him to pressure me into tying my tubes because I wanted more children even though he did not and thought if he died or we divorced, then I might have the chance with another mate to have more children. The divorce happened; I met Jon, 46, and we have been trying to conceive naturally for the past 6 months since my IUD was removed. I started having periods again right away, cycle every 26-27 days. Have been doing home ovulation testing and ovulate day 10-12. He has had a semen analysis that was in the normal ranges. I had a Hysto something test to make sure my tubes are clear, normal. I had no trouble conceiving my son at 38. I'm getting very discouraged. I will see a fertility doctor and an OBGYN to discuss IVF options. The negative feedback we receive from family and friends that think we are too old does not bother us. Most think we are younger than we are as neither of us has gray hair and we pack a 4-year-old everywhere we go :-).

Looking for words of encouragement and hope that I can have at least one, if not two more children. Jon is an awesome father to my son and I only hope I can give him the gift of his own child. I know how badly I wanted and love my son and I think being able to relate to his desire for a child and knowing the joy that comes from fulfilling that desire makes it even harder to handle as another month goes by with no success. Looking for support and friends, hopefully some in the western United States. Good luck to all in our same predicament!

Code 474
Posted 8 July 2011

Bev, 44

I'm a 44 year old pregnant mom with 2 children from a previous marriage. My new partner has never had children. I'm due in February and would love to hear from some other women around my age.

Code 480
Posted 13 November 2011

Katherine, 43, San Francisco Bay, CA, US

I am a first time stay-home mom of a 2 year old who would like to meet/talk/write/communicate with other older first-time moms in a similar situation. In my progressive neck of the woods, you would think that I would meet older first time moms, but I haven't at all!  Almost all of my friends are childless, most don't want kids; they like to do things with "just me", not my child, which makes me feel isolated. On the other hand, I have several friends are in their late 30's/40's, who would love to have a child, but haven't or cannot, for whatever reason.

Anyway, would love to connect with other moms in my same situation, where ever you are! Would love to keep it positive and real.  I am starting to get anxious for the time when my child begins school or not, as I may just home school. I already feel like a misfit at times, but the older mom thing might make me feel more so. It is hard lacking connection with anyone in my same situation. I am totally blissful with my child, we do fun and educational things daily in country and city, things that most kids never get to do, but get a little scared, also that she is an only child, and most likely will be. We also have very little family support, as they live far away, which is a bit hard on my little family, too. I did have a career, graduate school, the whole enchilada, but now I want to simply be a nurturing stay-home mom and never want to go back to my career. In fact, trying to find ideas for a new one!

Code 479
Posted 31 October 2011

Stephanie, 39, Winnipeg, Canada 

I have been with my partner for 3 years (now engaged).  When we met I said I was done with having more kids and he said he was ok with that.  Recently he told me he would like to have one of his own.  I have 2 from a previous marriage (ages 11 and 9) and everyone gets along great.

He is younger than me (10 years).  I understand his wanting a child and I have always wanted 5 kids but my age really concerns me now .  I would like to hear from others that have had to make this decision.  Weighing age and possible complications vs the miricle of a baby.

On a side note:  I am healthy, but have alot of stress from my ex.

Code 478
Posted 17 October 2011

Sooz, 42, Melbourne, Australia

I am 42 and have been doing IVF for a year. I would like to hear from any heavy 40+ ladies who have conceived. I am healthy, but a chunky monkey!

Code 477
Posted 30 September 2011

Donna, 43, Maryland, US

I just turned 43 and my fiance is 49. Neither of us have any children yet. We are planning to get married this year and are also trying to conceive. We've tried 3 times within the past 6 months and I believe I am getting pregnant (I haven't tested myself because I wait first to see if my period will come), but I have some pregnancy symptoms right away and then lose them very early - within 15 days.  I believe this is due to low progesterone, but I haven't had a doctor discuss this with me yet. We have an appointment with my third obgyn doctor and I'm hoping to get some information and not shuffled off to a fertility clinic instead. I have nothing against fertility clinics when the time comes, but I feel there are other less intense things to try first. I try new things constantly to improve my health, but unfortunately I have autoimmune hypothyroidism that I think has led to other hormonal and various health issues, including depression.

I'm very interested in diet, herbs and vitamins and would like to try those before fertility treatments.
I am looking for other women who are also interested in these topics. I'm sometimes ambivalent about having children at this late age and my mood disorder worries me too. I don't want to pass that onto children and I also worry about my ability to handle them at this age. I'm looking for someone I can communicate with openly and exchange information, encouragement and support.

Code 476
Posted 30 September 2011

Didi, 42, Cameroon, Africa

I'm 42 and have tried to get pregnant for 10 years. I've finally turned to IVF.

I would like to get in touch with those who, like me, have struggled and finally made it.

Code 475
Posted 9 September 2011

Jennifer, 40, Oklahoma, US

Hi, I'm Jennifer and I am 40-years-old.  I'm from Oklahoma born and raised. I have been happily married for 12 years. I have 3 children 17, 10 and 7. I enjoy photography, reading, pen paling, texting, camping, fishing, Cub Scout outings with my son and soccer practices with my 10-year-old daughter and 17-year-old daughter also.

I prefer writing to women only between the ages of 38-50  to talk about life's struggles and our children.

Code 473
Posted 31 May 2011

Dawn, 47, UK

Hi I’m Dawn. I have just turned 47 and had my third child, a little girl on March 31st 2011.

I live in Worcestershire, England and I am looking to find some friends who have a new baby and are around the same age as myself.

I have two other children aged 25 and 23.

I have lots of interests including reading and travelling but my main interest now is my new baby girl.

Code 472
Posted 21 May 2011

Mary, 43, Calgary, Canada

I am in Calgary, Canada and I am 43 years old and so is my husband. We are currently 20 weeks’ pregnant with a healthy baby boy!! We conceived through IVF on our first try after over 3 years of trying which included 2 miscarriages and three tries of IUI. This little angel will be the first one for both of us. He will most likely our only angel even though we do still have one egg frozen.

I want to let other would be moms out there know that it is possible. They gave my husband and I only an 8 to 10% chance of getting pregnant and then if we got pregnant we had a 50% chance of losing our baby before 12 weeks. We beat the odds and I know that others can too.

I too am looking for other women who are in there forties who like me, are new moms and/or first time moms or moms to be.

Code 470
Posted 4 April 2011

Sawda, 40, Dakar, Senegal

I am from Senegal.  I lived in Michigan for 13 years before returning to Africa (Senegal).  I miscarried in October 2010.  It was very hard for me!  My husband and I are trying to conceive since we got married last year.  We are both so looking forward to having a baby!  I hope that it'll happen very soon! I'd like to hear from other women who are trying to have a baby. 

Code 469
Posted 23 March 2011

Cas, 49, London, UK

I am an older mother, aged 49 and my children are  24,18 and 5 years.  My son was born when I was 43 and he is lovely. Now I dedicate my time to my family and my art career.  Although my son´s school should be an opportunity to make friendships I too find it difficult to engage with the younger mothers.

I wonder there are any older mothers in London. It would be great to speak to another mother with similar a experience.

Code 468
Posted 14 March 2011

Claire, 39, New Hampshire, US

I am going to be 40 in April and my husband of almost 10 years will be 38 in May.  We have just begun the IVF process and are excited.  I have a 14-year-old daughter from my 1st marriage and my husband has no children of his own.  We have found some people very supportive and others saying “You are too old.  You will be 60 when your child is 20”.  I am looking to find a place to share my thoughts with other “older” moms.  Thanks!

Code 467
Posted 21 February 2011

Meredith, 45, Augusta, Georgia, US (Updated 19 February 2011)

I turn 46 in April and my surprise baby is due via C-section March 28th. It’s been a pretty easy pregnancy despite discomfort of weight gain! My baby was breech for the last couple of weeks, but she turned last week. Her name is Mary Margaret, and I cannot wait to hold her.

Original Message:
I am 45-years-old and am 7 weeks' pregnant. I have been married for 2 years and have an only child (age 12) from a previous marriage. I had my ultrasound recently and heard the healthy heart beat. My husband is 52. The baby is due the first week of April (I turn 46 then).  I would love to connect with other moms age 45 and older who have delivered healthy babies. Since there was only 1 in 100 chance I would conceive, I quit taking birth control medication.  We are very excited about the baby, but I am scared to death to be pregnant at my age. My prior delivery was by c-section, and I was so sick the whole time. Praying for a smoother ride this time. I see a high risk doctor on Sept 16th. I can’t believe you can now learn the sex of a child at 12 weeks! So much new technology.

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Posted 18 August 2010

Cal, 45, Australia

I am 45 and 9 weeks pregnant with my 5th child. This baby is due 3 days before my 46th birthday.  It was a huge shock. My older children are 23, 20, 18 and 13. I also have three step children under 14. My partner is five years younger than me. Since I told him four weeks ago he has not mentioned it again but expressed that this is definitely not what he wants. He is waiting for my decision. He has, however, been extremely loving and attentive.  I will have this baby provided all is fine (I am having CVS in two weeks). As there is no discussion he is unaware of this.  I risk losing him but I am independently financially able to go alone. I don't want to, and would rather share the journey with him, but willing to go it alone anyway. I am fit and healthy but having trouble finding good resources on tips to optimize my chances of a normal and healthy pregnancy at 45.  

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Posted 19 February 2011

Yvette, 44, Canada

I landed on your site and I wish to join the folks whom are trying to conceive after 40. I am 44-years-old. My husband is 40. We have been married for 9 years. We are on our path towards IVF.  I have endometriosis and as a result my tubes are blocked. 9 years ago I learned my husband and I had conceived, but the pregnancy was ectopic. We were both devastated. My left tube was removed. After seeing an IVF consultant, I was told my FSH levels were high. I was told that I may be in menopause. Right now I feel down and I wish to hear words of encouragement and advice with regard to my options i.e. herbs, vitamins etc.

Code 465
Posted 16 February 2011

Ruth, 44, Australia

My name is Ruth, I have been a widow for almost 11 years until I meet my partner this year.  I have a 10-year-old son from my late husband.  I’m 44 and have just found out that I’m pregnant... we very happy.  My partner doesn’t have any children of his own. I am a little concerned to be honest but we are all happy about it... apart from my hormones are all over the place...Really up and down like a yoyo... Has anyone else experienced similar sensations?

Code 464
Psoted 2 December 2010

Amy, 40, Tulsa, OK, US

I am 40 years old, never considered having a family of my own as being an option.  I did school, more school, then pursued a career and travels before settling down.  My husband and I have been married 18 months, not having used birth control the whole time. He has two teenage sons from his first marriage and now we are really trying to have our own child.  We've begun initial visits with a fertility specialist, who said my hormones and ovaries look good for my age. My husband's sperm are borderline effective in terms of motility and shape.  She has recommended a sperm defragmentation test....any word on if that would be helpful info? I want to start with artificial insemination but the cost is admittedly at little much.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and sad that a pregnancy may never happen for me.  Any encouraging words, advice or stories would be helpful.  Or just someone to listen to me vent. Reading other's stories are already a big help. Society here sometimes makes me feel (or, I let myself feel) not so good about myself since I didn't start having kids in my mid 20s. 

Best wishes to everyone.

Code 463
Posted 30 November 2010

Frances, 48, Auckland, New Zealand

Dear friends, I wanted to acknowledge Jan because I can remember earlier in my pregnancy and for about one year later I really wanted to talk with other older mums with similar experiences. It was at times lonely and although my whanau (family) were all around me supporting me 110 percent, I still had my moments.

Two years ago we got a huge shock when at 46-years-old I was pregnant with our third child.  My husband Steve of 30 years thought I was joking when I told him, and my kids who were 26 and 27 years at the time were also stunned. 

Baby was conceived and born naturally; he was 9lb and it was really sore. Took afew days for all the swelling to go away.  I am a big women and at the time I was 120kg. Today I am 92kg and going down.

Baby is now two-years-old he has a bit of a Kingly kinship amongst the whanau (family) and friends; he is special and God is good.

We have our days, but that’s life. We both continue to work full time. Baby enjoys childcare and we are pressing on.

Code 462
Posted 20 November 2010

Sharrie, 40, Texas, US

I am looking for a penpal for my journey to become a mom for the 2nd time. My husband (age 47) and I have a 5-year-old daughter and want to try naturally for a 2nd baby, starting this October 2010. I am so excited but scared due to my health. I look extremely fit and healthy,  but my knee is very arthritic from a motorcycle accident at age 16. I know that it is nothing compared to some, but it still concerns me to carry a baby and work full-time with a bad knee. I'm overall very positive and excited to try. We had considered adoption and still may adopt.

Code 460
Posted 25 September 2010

Susan, 43

I have 3 children, aged 15, 13 and 9 to a previous marriage and my eldest has a physical disability and is in a wheelchair. After much consideration, my partner (aged 52) and I decided to try and have a child of our own, conceived and miscarried in Feb this year and now again recently. I was in a state of total angst and could not see a way forward with the last pregnancy; the fear of disability due to our ages(I am a physio and work in disability), becoming a mother all over again, the changes it would cause to our relationship and the tiredness. I reached out for counselling and wanted to terminate and was not told that these feelings can be normal and they do pass. Instead, I went with my strength in rejecting this baby and terminated. The remorse is unbearable; the anger and the hurt I have caused my partner. If we did try again we will know what to expect and to stay strong. I do still worry about our ages and whether I will get pregnant again after a termination at my age. Any others out there who have done the same insane thing?

Code 459
Posted 6 September 2010

Samantha, 45

I am 45-years-old and trying to conceive.  I have been trying for a year. The stress of the situation is affecting me a lot. Every month there seems to be something that occurs to interrupt the calm necessary for the most optimum time to get pregnant. I don´t know what to do.  I feel like I don't have any control. Why did this happen to me? My mother and cousin had babies at 40 or a little over and I can't.

Code 457
Posted 4 August 2010

Anna, 45, Sweden

I am 45, Dh 50. I have 3 children of my own aged  23, 19 and 16, but Dh has none of his own and we so desire to have a child together.

I have pcos and I have been trying to conceive for the past two years. I would love to meet/write to other mums in a similar situation and would also like to know about natural herbs and vitamins to help older women conceive, because I would like to try natural methods.

Code 456
Posted 1 August 2010

Josanne, 46, Nr Manchester, UK

Hi, I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. My youngest is 24 and eldest 26. I am married to my 2nd husband who has 2 daughters of his own, but we do not have any between us...until now! I was amazed and honestly so shocked to find myself pregnant as I assumed I was 'past it'! Ha, ha. Not so, it seems.

I have yet to have my first scan, which hopefully will be very imminent as when I contacted the ultrasound dept they had no referral from my doctor! I have since contacted the surgery about this. I am really concerned about the possible complications related to pregnancy in older mums.

I would love to have some contact with anyone in a similar situation for some support and friendship.

Code 455
Posted 11 July 2010

Lori, 41, Chicago, US

Hello! My husband and I would love to connect with other mature parents. We have one 7-month-old son and live near Chicago, IL. I work very part-time as a hairdresser and my husband works full-time in construction.  Our interests are hiking, swimming, music, blowing bubbles, having fun with friends
and visiting the animals at the pet store!

Code 454
Posted 9 July 2010

Anna Maria, 42, New York USA

Currently going through 2nd IVF cvcle. Egg retrieval tomorrow 6/17/2010. First IVF cycle ended in chemical miscarriage, although everything had gone very well : fertilized two A quality eggs and responded very well to all meds. Just wondering, can this really happen at my age? Need SUPPORT. I am an emotional wreck!! Would love to speak to someone.

Code 453
Posted 16 June 2010

Lisa, 42, Quebec, Canada

Hi my name is Lisa. I'm 42 yrs old (soon to be 43) and had a tubal reversal done 5 days ago.

My boyfriend and I have decided we'd like to have a baby together.  He has never been married and has no children, he is 12 yrs my junior has never been married and has no children. I am divorced and have 2 wonderful sons, age 15 (soon 16) and 17 yrs old. They're both supportive of our decision, which definitely helps the process.

I have to admit, I'm scared (terrified). People think I'm crazy, I didn't think so until now, but all the comments and remarks have gotten me down, not to mention feeling emotionally drained after the surgery and during recovery.

I would love to chat with someone who has gone through a tubal reversal at my age, anyone who has a positive approach to wanting to get pregnant at my age and not make me feel like I'm absolutely crazy!

Thank you and I wish you all the best of luck ... to happy & healthy babies :)

Code 452
Posted 14 June 2010

Cellina, 48, Maryland, US

I am 48-years-old. I remarried in 2007 and my husband is 55-years-old. He lives in Africa but he will soon join me in USA, He has four children before and I have three of my own, but as soon as he gets here in February 2010, we will like to conceive. Please tell me the best fertility medication for my age and his age. I would be very interested to chat with other ladies who are in my position. Thank you.  Thanks and God Bless.

Code 450
Posted 28 May 2010

Linda, 49, UK

I am 49-years-old and contemplating a pregnancy using donor eggs. This is likely to take place in the month!! I am very excited at the prospect of becoming a mum again although I am also terrified regarding people's reactions at someone my age becoming pregnant. It is a bit of double wammy because I'm not 100% comfortable with donor conception.

It would be great to speak to someone who has conceived at my age and or hear how they have coped with all the negativity, which I know I will be up against.

Code 449
Posted 24 May 2010

Deni, 41, Taiwan

I'm four years older than my husband.  We've been married for 6 years. I'll be 42 later on this year.  We have been trying for about 4 years was our second year when we got the devastating blow that my husband had low motility and low sperm count.  With time running out for me this is not the news we wanted to hear.  It also doesn't help when all of our friends have conceived and my husband's twin brother is now having his second child.  I've tried everything.  I doused my husband with vitamins and he exercises and while his sperm count improved a little it's still not even enough for IVF.  The endocrinologist that we met was so blunt and just told us to "forget about it".  I'm absolutely devastated. Infertility treatment, while cheaper than in the US, is not covered by insurance here in Taipei.  I know that I'm not special and there are other women like me but it still hurts.  To have a beautiful relationship and not be able to extend our love is so sad.   Anyhow good luck and many blessings to everyone else out there who are trying.  God bless!

Code 448
Posted 14 May 2010

Madie, District Heights, Maryland, US

I am a 52-year-old that might be pregnant. I am excited!  My mate and I have never discussed a baby since we both have adult children of our own and grandchildren. But for the past two weeks I have been going through every emotion and symptom of pregnancy.

There are a few catches though; I had my tubes done 19 years ago and my friend was fixed as well. I did see my gyn yesterday and he said there was nothing there. However, I have only been active since March, so I can't be that far along if indeed I am expecting. Really need an older/new mom to talk to.

Code 447
Posted 26 April 2010

Dawn, 41, New York, USA

I'm 41 years old and newly married for the first time (almost 2 yrs). It just shows that you can find true love at any age. I have been trying to conceive my first child since we wed and it has been very difficult. I underwent 2 IUI's, 2 IVF's and 2 Frozen Embryo transfers. I finally got pregnant only to lose the baby at almost 6 weeks on Christmas of 2009. I was distraught to say the least. I have dreamt of having a family since I was a little girl and I pray constantly that God will bless me with a healthy child. I am trying naturally with the help of Fertility Herbs - hopefully this will help. I would love to connect with other women with situations similar to mine.

Code 446
Posted 19 April 2010

Sherriane, 44, New Jersey, US

My name is Sherriane and I am 44 years old.  My husband and I got married 31/2years ago and have been trying to conceive.  We have gone through several rounds of IVF, to have been pregnant once, but unfortunately miscarried.  I absolutely love this site because after all of the procedures, the only reason everyone gives me is my chronological age, for not getting pregnant. Nothing else.  I just believe that it has not been my time due to outside stressors.  Life, is life and I believe that we are going to have our baby. It's nice to see that I'm not alone with my belief that after 40 you can have a healthy baby.  I would love to chat with others who are also in the same kind of situation.

Code 445
Posted 11 April 2010

Mandy, 40, Cambridge, UK

I am a student in Cambridge UK I have recently just got married to a Ghanian man who I love very much. He has no children, but I have 4 from a previous relationship, which ended badly, so I was sterilised. My new husband now would like to try for a baby, which I would also love to do, but this would mean having my sterilisation reversed or fertility treatment. We are currently in the process of seeing a specialist to determine which course of action would be best for us, as I am 40 and my husband is 43. I would just really like to connect with other mums and dads in similar situations who could advice me and perhaps give us some hope.

Code 444
Posted 21 February 2010

Julie, 49, Australia

I was 42 and single (and still am) with a steady full time job when I found out I was pregnant. The relationship I was in ended shortly after. I had no idea how I was going to manage. All I knew was that I wanted this child. I was in tears for most of my pregnancy but fortunately I had a healthy baby boy. I had to go back to work full time when he was 8 months old. I felt guilty leaving my boy in child care at first but he has turned out to be such a bright happy sociable child I needn't have worried. He is nearly seven now and the light of my life. I would love to talk to other "older" mums in similar circumstances.

Code 443
Posted 17 January 2009

Lisa, 45, London, UK

I was always a bit of a “career woman” and never expected to have a family. But I met my husband in 2000, had a miscarriage in 2001 and I had my first (and only) son when I was 39, in 2003. He is now 6 and its all great - we are a happy family and I feel I am very lucky and grateful.

Sometimes I feel like the oldest mum at the school gates so it’s nice to read about other mums that aren’t in their 20s. Both times I conceived quite easily, to my amazement, but I don’t think I’ll have any more now I am 45 so he will be an only child with older parents which worries me sometimes.

I’m working on a bit of a weight issue at the moment too: don’t want him to be embarrassed by me and also, as an older mum, feel I ought to make an effort to look after my health more. 

I would love to be in touch with anyone in any kind of similar circumstance to chat, support  and share thoughts generally.

Best wishes to all.

Code 442
Posted 11 January 2010

Kellie, 42, Australia

I am 42 years old, married to a wonderful man who is 48 and we have a beautiful 8 month old daughter as the result of IVF (3rd attempt – success from a frozen embryo). I didn’t meet my husband until later in life, we married when I was 38 and decided to try for a baby straight away. We fell pregnant 5 months after the wedding but sadly miscarried. Then, after trying again for a time, went to IVF leading to the birth of our beautiful girl. However, I now find myself with a dilemma. I have three embryos still in the freezer and am not sure what to do. The plan was always for just one baby that we could cherish and enjoy - because of our ages, the fact that my husband already has two boys from his previous marriage, energy levels, work, finances etc.  But I find myself very upset about the options for the remaining 3 embryos which I am told are (1) use (2) destroy (3) donate to science for dissection etc. Apparently in the State I live in we don’t have the option of donating for adoption. So what am I to do? I feel terrible guilt about destroying them as I just need to look into the face of my beautiful daughter to see what can spring from those frozen embryos. But there is no way we could have 3 more children (that’s of course if they all ‘took’). We are considering using them to try to achieve 1 more child but then even having the implanting is so expensive and I have used up all of my maternity leave with this baby so can’t afford to take more than say 3 to 6 months off with the next one (I’m currently on 12 months leave so won’t have to put bub into care until she turns 1)…..and then will I have the energy at my age to chase after 2 bubs when I am working full time? And how will my husband cope given we had agreed on just the 1 baby even though he says he is OK about it? I would love to correspond with anyone who has been through this kind of dilemma. 

Code 441
Posted 10 January 2010

Karen, 47, Qatar

I am 47 and told I could not have children at my age. My story is one of trials, deception, and tribulation as I have no option for Donor Eggs as my husband is Muslim.  We can’t even adopt.  I am miserable and find it hard to get out of the bed daily.  I thought if I could share my story and my hope with someone and they me than I can survive my fate.  Thanks for this website it has given all of us hope.

Code 440
Posted 17 December 2009

Bonny, 44, Florida, US (Updated 8 December 2009)

On November 9th, I gave birth to a HEALTHY baby boy!  He is bright, alert and strong.  It just goes to show you that even with my having a 1 in 6 chance of having a baby with a deformity that the stats can still be wrong.  And the doctor and gen counselor seemed so sure of themselves!  If I were younger I might have been more intimidated by their confidence. But, I'm glad I didn't listen and risk losing this baby with an amnio. 

Original message:

I live in the US (Florida) and I was wondering if any of the other ladies who write to you have had experiences such as mine.  Here is what's going on:

I just turned 44, and I'm 3 months' pregnant.  We were so happy at first, but, on my doctor's office recommendation, I had an Nuchal Tranlucency Scan (NT) and blood work done to measure proteins and Hcg in my blood.  I never had, nor was offered this screening with my first child at 35, and I blindly went into it without doing any research on the internet. I have since read multiple stories on various web sites of women recieving false positives on these screens. 

My NT reading was 2.9mm and I was told that they consider anything above 2.5mm higher risk for Down's.  Just based on the scan, they had me talk to the gen counselor who was really pushing for me to have an amnio.  I told her I would rather have the initial blood work first.  Only then, did she give me the paperwork to get the blood drawn.

Well, got my blood work today and they gave me a 1:6 chance of having a DS baby!  The gen counselor went over the readings. She said they like a ratio of 1.0 for the Papp-A and Hcg.  My Papp-A was 1.0, but my Hcg was 1.4 (not that much over 1, IMO).  She basically said that because of my age (she said that phrase over and over during the conversation) that I would probably screen positive for DS and other deformities no matter what!  So why did I even bother with this screening?  It's got me all worked up and nervous and I feel like they are just pushing me to have an amnio so they can collect that data!   

Funny thing too, I just switched to another OBGYN and he said he considers an NT of 3.0 or above higher risk (not the 2.5 mm the lab uses). 

Have you had any other ladies feel like they are being pushed into an amnio or cvs due to this NT scan? 

Code 425
Posted 14 May 2009

Sam, 43, Australia

I am 43 and have fallen pregnant. I was told that my chances were very slim at achieving this, and would like to correspond with anyone else that may have successfully fallen pregnant in their 40's and how they have found pregnancy at this age. I am now 11 weeks, although am suffering some pretty awful all day morning sickenss. Am happy to correspond with anyone who may also be in 40's and trying to fall pregnant.

Code 439
Posted 25 November 2009

Lisa, 47, The Netherlands

Hi, I am Lisa, 47 years old. My husband (50) and I are trying to have a baby for about ten years.

In 2005 we tried  ICSI two times. Unfortunately we did not get pregnant. My husband’s sperm quality was the reason for the ICSI.

I have still regular periods and that’s one of the reasons we are still hoping for a baby. We are feeling very alone in our wish for a baby; people and doctors often say you're too old, you have to accept etc., but that is so hard when every month again I feel that I am ovulating and that I am still fertile. Perhaps there are people in the same position as we are who can support us in our search of a good doctor. Perhaps a doctor in Traditional Chinese Medicine because I understood that that kind of medicine increases your chances. Can anyone give us some helpful information? We are living in the Netherlands but we are willing to travel to another country. Thanks in advance.

Code 438
Posted 21 November 2009

Doreen, 47, Wilburton, Oklahoma, US

I am scheduled for a tubal reversal on October 3rd and would like to have pen pals of mothers trying to conceive after 40 and those who have. The support would be great.  I am 47 years old, recently remarried and happy for the first time in several years. I have two grown children and my husband has one. We would love to have a child of our own and hope that God will bless us with this wish; he has already blessed us with so much. We have already had all the tests and my menstrual cycle is regular. Looking for contact with other mothers in their 40’s.

Code 437
Posted 28 September 2009

Thulsi, 46, Malaysia

I am a stay at home mum to 2 boys 5 and 6 years. I quit my job 6 years ago when I was pregnant with my firstborn as I underwent a really difficult pregnancy. I conceived only via IVF and successful on the 3rd attempt. I was carrying twins but I miscarried one fetus at the 16th week. After that I was advised to quit working and literally lie down throughout the duration of my pregnancy. However my son decided to come out on the 27th week. I am 46 now and have a hectic time at home running after 2 very very active boys. I would love to connect with other mothers who had children in their 40s as I find myself really exhausted after an entire day with the boys. I would love tips on how to keep my stamina up. My older boy has ADHD and he takes up 90% of my time with the children. When I have some time to myself, I enjoy reading and cooking and baking.

Code 436
Posted 17 September 2009

Denise, 41, Canada

I am a 41 year old single mother living in Toronto, Canada.

After a painful divorce, I decided to become a single mother by choice at the age of 39. I used an open identity sperm donor and luckily it worked on my first try. Now I have a beautiful and healthy 15 month old girl. I am in contact with my donor and he lives in the United States. Anyway, I am contemplating having another child. I would be very interested to chat with other ladies who are in my position. Thank you.

Code 434
Posted 24 August 2009

Deborah, 52, Albuquerque, US

I am 52. I have had a rough life, and, though I prefer not to go into detail of the last 50 years, I am finally at a point in my life where I am stable and healthy. I just married a wonderful man this past January who matches me emotionally, spiritually and physically. He has never been married and has no children. I have been married before and have two grown children. I cannot shake the deep feeling that we are to conceive and have a child. Of course, to try and talk with most about this brings ridicule and derision. My periods have been irregular….approx every 2 to 2-1/2 months. Then this past January I believe that I actually did conceive and lost the pregnancy in March due to the extreme fear and stress….I had no one to talk with and no support. Even my doctor was treating me with disdain. I have not had a period since March, but have been, for the past few weeks, noticing pregnancy symptoms again. Once again, I am afraid. Well, this time I decided to take action. I talked to my husband and let him know what is going on. (I had not shared any of this with him Jan-March). And I searched out this site again. I had seen your site and actually emailed you at the beginning of the year but when I lost the pregnancy had asked you to remove my contact info. I lost hope and I gave up. I will not do that this time. I have been researching healthy support through diet, herbs and exercise. And I want contact and support with others who understand and can talk with me about my fears and desires.

Code 433
Posted 18 August 2009

Lisa, 42, Perth, Western Australia 

Hi - I turn 42 in a couple of weeks.  I have been undecided about having a baby for several reasons.  This indecision has been a cause of a lot of internal stress for me and many sleepless nights.  I need to decide one way or another because of my age.  The main reasons for not trying for one up until now is 1) my health hasn’t been the best – I’ve suffered with insomnia (I think largely due to depression, internal unhappiness, lack of direction) for many years and this has left me in a state of constant fatigue.  2)  I’ve never been 100% certain about my partner.  He wasn’t the man I dreamed he’d be with, but he is a very loving, positive and caring man who I know would be there for me and the more I have  been with him the more I have grown to love him.   3) I’ve never really had anything to do with children.  My children have been my animals.

My two brothers had kids but they live in another country.  Up until this point, I’ve always felt my purpose was to look after the animals (I am a vet nurse)
BUT, this last year, I guess because I have seen a lot of mums and their bubs at the swimming pool. It has stirred up this inner longing to want to experience that and to have my own.  Sometimes it brings a tear to my eyes and I start to feel really sad that I could miss out and never experience that.  But then I see a group of teenagers, who are swearing, pants down around their bums and seem to have no respect for anything that I get put off having one. One of my main fears of having a baby I guess is that I wouldn’t have the energy to cope with a young one.  The other one is that my health could worsen - now I can just lie down if I haven’t slept, whereas if I had a baby I wouldn’t have that luxury.  Also, of course, the chance of having a child with a disability.  I know im looking on all the negatives here and the 'what ifs' but fear has been driving the car up to this point.

I would like maybe to hear from any first time older mums who maybe had some health condition and find out if they coped ok; if they are truly happy that they had the baby.  Or any first time older mums in general who can let me know of their experiences; if having a baby was everything they wanted, or if maybe sticking with a pet and having the freedom to do whatever may have been a better choice. Or if you know of any older parents whose children are now teenagers - and their experiences.

I’ve thought about fostering/adopting but I don’t think it would be quite the same if it’s not your own. I also know there is a chance I will not be able to conceive naturally, in which case fate will have made my decision as I don’t want to go down the IVF route.
I’m thinking that maybe that’s what I need to do - try for a baby and leave it to Fate whether I have one or not!!

Code 432
Posted 12 August 2009

Catherine, 40, Florida, US

Hi, I am 40 years old and will be turning 41 in two months.  My husband and I have been married for just over a year and began ttc last fall.  We are trying for a first baby for the both of us.  Between learning about my cycle and his travel for work schedule, there have probably only been about six months so far that I've had a chance to get pregnant.  I recently went through some fertility testing and discovered that I have a septate uterus.  This isn't supposed to impact fertility, but puts me at an even higher risk of miscarriage.  I've just scheduled surgery for the end of August.  I'd like to be in touch with someone who is (or has) gone through trying to get pregant for the first time after the age of 40.

Code 431
Posted 24 July 2009

Laura, 43, Sydney, Australia

I just turned 43 and my new husband of 8 months and I are waiting to find out if we've been lucky enough to fall pregnant on our first go at IVF!  I'm really positive and feel very optimistic at this stage and can't wait to "get my teeth" into it, so to speak!  I have a 13-year-old son from my first marriage (who's "not sure he's ready for another baby just yet" - his father had a little girl 3 years ago!).  Hubby and I are doing yoga, meditation and acupuncture and have found it helps a lot with the stress of IVF!  We live in Sydney, Australia and can't wait to continue this amazing journey. I also have a long term mental illness and will have to stop taking my meds around week 18 so if anyone else has had to do this I would appreciate any tips!  I'm more worried about being a lonely older mum than anything else (like everyone else my friends stopped having babies years ago or are half my age!).

Code 430
Posted 10 July 2009

Amy, 42, Portsmouth, US

Hi, I am 42 years old, and I have two teenage children (13 and 15).  I remarried after their father died, and I have been trying to conceive naturally for 3 years.  I need a little inspiration!  I am healthy, with excellent FSH and other “numbers”, a very regular cycle but the doctors still say IVF is the way.  I’d like to hear what other women think.  I did have a luteal phase defect and I think I resolved it without progesterone cream using the research from a team of physicians in Japan.  I wrote the authors and I followed their protocol of 1500 mg of l-arginine 4 times per day (taken with carbonated liquid) after ovulation and had my progesterone levels checked 7 days after ovulation, and they were perfect!  I am now trying the protocol they suggested of melatonin (3 g day 1-ovulation) and 900 IU vitamin E.  This is supposed to improve egg quality.  I am wondering if other women have tried this and with any success?  Have you heard of this?

Code 429
Posted 6 July 2009

Elizabeth, age 45, Washington State, USA

Hi, I am single and have decided that I would really like to start a family. Most of my relatives have passed away and I am starting to realize that one day my current family will all be gone. I have been working with a fertility clinic and am getting ready to see a high risk OB/GYN to see what kind of shape I am in to carry a baby.  I am just in the starting stages, picking out a sperm donor and looking into all my options.  What I have been most surprised about in this day and age is how negative many people have been.  Personally, I feel that it is each person's own decision which path to follow in life and we should try to support each other as much as possible. The counselor at the fertility clinic even told me my child would hate me because I had him or her when I was so old. A friend of mine just berates me every time she sees me, telling me how it won't work and how the child will have so many problems. I realize that there are additional challenges now, but I think as this site tells us it can happen with a good outcome. So I really just wanted to reach out and be a positive support to some people out there in the same circumstance as me. I figure we can all use extra friends especially at this point. By the way the counselor was the only bad experience I have had at the clinic everyone else has been great so I am trying to dismiss her comments. Anyway, I wish everyone well on their journeys and would love to hear from some people.  Best of luck !

Code 428
Posted 29 June 2009

Diane, 40, Melbourne, Australia

I'm Diane , Im single 40 (41 end of year ) and have decided to stop waiting for Mr Right and have a baby alone via donor. I have the rest of my life to find love and not much longer to have a child.  I would love to speak to any ladies in a similar position and make some great new friendships.

Code 427
Posted 20 June 2009

Robbin, 40, Saskatchewan, Canada

I never thought I could have children.  I have polycystic ovarian disease, and my husband and I tried everything there is to conceive while I was in my 20’s.  We ended up adopting, and I was very happy with that decision.  My son is 11 years old now.

Since then I have continued to treat my PCOD, and have been on the pill trying to regulate my period.  My husband and I split up 2 years ago, and it was harder than I could have imagined.  This winter I was incredibly ill.  I neglected to go to the doctor afraid of the news I would get.  I figured this was my condition coming home to roost and I feared the ‘C’ word with all of my heart.  I went to the physician on April 9, 2009 and was told that what I thought was a uterine tumor was beating at 160 beats per minute!

I’m expecting (18 weeks and 5 days now), single, and thrilled!  And terrified…

Is there anyone else like me out there?  40, single, and pregnant.  I would love to talk. 

To all you other moms out there, good luck, good luck.  I know what it’s like, and wish you all the best.

Code 424
Posted 25 April 2009

Debbie, 46, UK

I remarried and had a little boy when I was 42. He is now four-years-old. My son was born with Down's Syndrome and I would love to chat to any mums out there who feel as lonely as I do. I am now 46 and all my friends stopped having children years ago, so I do not have much in common with them now. I find it difficult to meet new mums as they all seem to be so much younger than me and on a different wave length.

I would love to chat to any mum out there either with a Down's Syndrome child, or just a mum feeling as lonely as I do. I also have a daughter 21 and a son 19.

Code 423
Posted 24 March 2009

Karen, 44, Edinburgh, Scotland

I live in the Edinburgh area, I'm 44, have two girls 25 & 21 from my previous marriage. Now remarried, I have just one unsucessful course of IVF, although I managed to produce three eggs of which two fertilised but did not progress any further.  We are preparing for another try in April.  I believe acupuncture and reflexology are helpful so I'm going to start this today.  I'm looking for some inspiration from someone who may have been or currently is in my situation.

Code 422
Posted 6 March 2009

Simonne, 40, Canada

After several long term dating relationships, I am now beginning the process of having a baby on my own. Feelings on a daily basis range from thrilled to scared. Many people I have talked to, although well meaning, have been very negative (especially regarding the health aspects, for the baby, since I would be having it at 40 / 41). I would love to share and talk to people in similar situations.  Either those of you going through or have gone through the various events leading up to birth and beyond. It would be so great talking to people in the same situation.

Code 421
Posted 2 March 2009

Jeanne 42, Australian living in Singapore

I'm approaching 43, and undergoing fertility treatment in Singapore. I am onto my fourth round of IUI's at Singapore General and find it gets easier in some ways as you go along. My husband and I have committed to 10 attempts this way, and I guess we will talk after that to decide whether it is as far as we can go emotionally, financially etc or whether we pursue adoption or IVF. If it was me, I would prefer to adopt than go through IVF, but that is just a personal preference as I have seen a friend go through IVF. I think you can get to a point where you will try absolutely anything to have a long awaited for child.

I'm not too sure that the odds of 3-5 times more chance of success is correct for IVF over IUI in the case of women over 40. I think those odds are relevant to women in their late 20's-40's? According to the research I've done and my understanding is that IUI offers as much of a chance, if not slightly more, in the 40+ age bracket. My obstetrician confirmed this when we discussed our options. Unfortunately, it is right that there is only an ever decreasing window of opportunity after 42, but I sometimes think this is over-exaggerated as I am constantly hearing of women who have done it. I've read that over 40's need more IUI's than a younger women, to achieve a positive outcome, and that is also assuming that they are otherwise healthy. I guess it is largely down to luck and staying positive too. It is hard when you feel time is of the essence. I am secretly hoping I have enough time left to have two, but I would be over the moon if I could have just the one.

Code 420
Posted 24 February 2009

Ruth, 47, Australia

I am 47 and live in Australia. I have a 12 yr old girl from my first marriage. I wanted more but divorce put a stop to that. My wonderful 2nd husband (now 56) has 2 children from his first marriage (boy 27 & girl 21). He also wanted more children (had his vasectomy reversed) but divorce also put a stop to that. We met 4 yrs ago, married 3 yrs ago and knew we had no time for shilly-shallying. I had previously used natural family planning, so knew how to identify my fertile time. It was really easy and incredibly obvious when I was in my 30's but @ 44 I found it much more subtle with fertile-type-mucous only present for quite short periods. At anyrate, we applied ourselves with enthusiasm and I did everything I could to boost my health - multi-vitamins, Evening Primrose Oil capsules, folic acid, lots of sleep, no alcohol etc. After a few months I spoke to a naturopath who suggested I also take fish oil capsules which I did and BINGO I was pregnant (took 5 months). We had amniocentesis and 3D ultrasound at about 16 weeks - I was so scared but the results were all good. The specialist said that it was an absolute miracle that we had fallen pregnant; taking into account our ages and the vasectomy reversal. I belive it was God's will. My pregnancy was good, although I tired easily and had low blood pressure. On 24/3/07 I had a mid-wife assisted, normal labour and natural birth, although I did have a fairly substantial tear. Our long-awaited baby daughter had finally arrived. The mid-wife handed her to me and all I could say was "beautiful, beautiful, beautiful."

Now she is nearly 2 and I thank God every day. Mind you it hasn't been easy. She had reflux and sleep problems and I was glad she wasn't my first baby. I do not have the energy I used to have and I get incredibly tired. I attend a mothers group every week which I love but they are all in their 20's and early 30's and in their first marriage/relationship, so our lives are pretty different. I think I look a little younger than I am but I often try to conceal my age because plenty of people are quite negative. The other day I was shopping and a shop assistant called me "Nan."  I know it doesn't mean much at all but it left me feeling dispirited. We are far from the first people to be having children at this point in life. I also believe that it is completely natural to want to have a child with your husband. Nevertheless, I wish I knew some women my own age in similar situations. I feel foolish going to so-called "Young Mums" groups. I was very happy to find this website and would love to make connections with others. Children are a blessing to us. They are the cause of lots of hard work and heart-ache and joy. I would love to share some of that with you.

Code 419
Posted 18 February 2009

Nicole, 40, Australia

My name is Nicole and I live in Australia aged 40 at present.  I presently have 4 children - aged 17, 14, 11 and 12 months old.  Next month I will be turning 41.  Yes, still same husband.  Because of the gap between child 3 and 4 we decided to try for another.  So, our little one did not grow up alone.  I was very lucky and conceived naturally the first child in 3 months and the others in only one month.  Some fertility tips would be great.

Now though I have found that after weaning my youngest son slowly off the breast, but still feeding at night time.  My periods have returned, but have been a little odd.  After 30 years of periods being like clockwork and being approximately every 28 days and being able to pick when I was ovulating.  Now the last two periods were 5 weeks apart and we tried in January to conceive, but no luck.  After reading all the info about older mum's having so much trouble trying to conceive this has really freaked me out.  It would be great to touch base with other older mums and compare notes.

Code 418
Posted 28 January 2009

Jane, 42, Sydney, Australia

Your site is simply inspirationally and I have read it often in the last few months to curb my negative thoughts.  Congratulations on helping so many women; you are truly a shining star for all of us out here living in a society that does not yet accept older mothers.  It will one day; just as divorce was so condemned years ago. I have been through two fresh and one frozen IVF cycles without success so far.  When I look back on the stress I was under from a number of different areas in my life it is not surprising.  But it is now a new year and 2009 is going to be my year !!  I have made a number of changes and when I start my next cycle in a few weeks I will be in a much better frame of mind. I am 42, single and doing this alone with an anonymous donor sperm.

After the break down of my marriage 10 years ago I have done every singles event possibly to try and find a new relationship without success so I have decided to go it alone; should have started it years ago however hopefully I am not too late.  I desperately want to be a mother and share the rest of my life with a child; I will be considering donor eggs after another few fresh cycles. I would desperately like to meet other single women who are going through what I am.  Although I do have support there is nothing quite the same as sharing your life experience with someone in exactly the same position.  Mothers group are such a wonderful support for new mothers; is there a group for women (especially single women) to share thoughts and gain support.

Code 417
Posted 9 January 2009

Sarah, 44, York, UK (Updated 8 January 2009)

I would like to now share my news with you and all the other hopeful mum's of my age.  After a strange pregnancy, oedema in legs, arms, tummy etc and coccyx pain which did put a bit of a damper on it all I finally gave birth to a beautiful baby boy Alfie, weighing in at 8lb 10oz on the 29th October 2008.  He is absolutely gorgeous and is so loved by his big sisters!!!!  They did still give me a hard time right to the end of the pregnancy, but by the time I went in for my section, they were actually starting to worry about me and the baby and hoping everything would be ok.  It was, and my poor partner did not even get a look in on his own son for the first week or so as he was passed around 3 girls for cuddles etc. 

Now at 10 weeks old the smiles we are all receiving are so rewarding, how could they not all love him.   He is such a good little man and I am so grateful I have been given this chance to have this baby for my partner to experience fatherhood for himself!! At his 6 week check my GP asked me how I would cope going to toddlers etc with him as all the mums would be a lot younger, I pointed out I did not have two heads but I did have much experience to hand onto younger mothers and also pointed out to her that I was not the only mum over 40 giving birth at the time and maybe she should be more supportive rather then negative.

Previous message:

It’s now a year since I have been with my partner and I started to try for a baby from last June when my Mirena coil was removed, took a while for my body to get back to normal and for periods to return monthly, but they finally did.  At Christmas a friend lent me a book on fertility, sort of a 'know your own body bible' really and this book was an eye opener and I found out lots of information that I did not know before, such as your time limit for conception is only 2-3 days a month (I did wonder how I actually managed to have my other children)!  But it started me on the journey of Natural Family Planning, taking my temperature each day, charting and watching for other signs of ovulation, I started charting on the first day of my period in February 2008 and to my utter surprise and shock by the end of the month I was pregnant!! is the website for the UK and very helpful too. 

I am now 9 weeks pregnant, and having my dating scan on Monday, I know we still have a long way to go, but I am feeling dreadful which of course is a great sign with sore boobs and sickness!!! Why do we forget this happens!!  If all goes well we intend to enjoy every minute of this baby and I consider myself so lucky.

As for my girls, the initial shock was a bit hard for them, but within days it was 'who would be naming the baby, who would be dressing the baby' etc so all 3 of my girls and one very bemused partner are there for me.

Again thanks for your support when I needed it and the website is so valuable too for all us over 40's who are more than capable of being perfect, loving, caring mothers.

Code 342
Posted 14 April 2008 (Updated 8 January 2009)

Bie, 50, Estonia

After a couple of myoma operations I am coming close to fifty - in January 2009. Most countries have the limit age 50 for giving donor children - but how to find info about good clinics and the countries that allow treatments of woman over 50 to get pregnant?

I live in Sweden and Estonia, and it´s getting late here in Estonia for me... Sweden is not possible at all. I am not very rich and cannot do it in US.

I go to a healthdoctor here in Tallinn - by the way their clinic wants more clients to do Ayurvedic cleansings. She tells me that it might still be possible to get pregnant with my own eggs. But doctors say it´s usually impossible.

This is a very difficult issue I know . But if you have any information I would be happy.

Code 416
Posted 23 December 2008

Corinne, 39, Boston, Massachusetts, US

Hello.  My name is Corinne and I came across you site during my research on having a baby at 40.  My husband Sam and I were just married this September and we are really wanting to conceive.  This Christmas I will be 39 and feel quite alone in the world of having a baby at 40.  That is, if I conceive and carry a full term healthy pregnancy.  It would be nice to connect with others who share in the same concerns and experiences.  Not having children before, I feels puts me in a complete different category, with many different feelings about it. I think it would be great to join your blog.Please be in touch.

Code 415
Posted 15 December 2008

Robin, 46, Kentucky, US

Hi! I am 46 years old and while I was in my 20's and 30's I tried fertility pills to get pregnant without any luck.  I have a 5 year old son whom we adopted and  am now finding myself again thinking about trying to concieve. (My son wants a sister and I miss the baby experience).  I hesitate not only because of my age but also due to the fact that I only have one kidney and no spleen, plus my younger sister gave birth to a Down's child 5 years ago and while he is wonderful, I worry about not being able to care for a special needs child as long as a younger mom would be able to. I would really like a non-biased opinion on this. Thanks.

Code 414
Posted 15 December 2008

Faye, 47, New Plymouth, New Zealand

Hi, My name is Faye. I am 47 with a 20 month old daughter. I live with my partner of 10 years. We each have two children to previous relationships. My oldest son is 26 and daughter is 23. I am interested in meeting/chatting with other mums my age either trying to conceive or in a similar situation to myself. Thanks.

Code 413
Posted 12 December 2008

Jo, 44, Sydney, Australia

After 5 painful years of TTC and multiple late first trimester miscarriages, I am 44 and 12 weeks' pregnant, conceived naturally. I had undiagnosed Hashimotos disease for the last year- 2 years and that may explain the infertility and multiple miscarriages.

I haven’t told anyone yet for fear of another miscarriage.

Code 412
Posted 12 December 2008

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This page has been designed especially for parents over 40 and those trying to conceive to meet others. If you wish to add your own details here, please e-mail me at jandersen8888 at live dot com.  Each posting has an allocated code, which is used as a reference.  If you wish to connect with someone who has already posted on the page, all you need to do is to email me with the name and code number of the person with whom you wish to communicate and I will pass on your message to them.  I do it this way in order to protect the privacy and security of users and to avoid spammers collecting email addresses from the site.
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