Deborah, 49, US

I am 49 and a half with an 8-year-old. I have desperately wanted another child since he was born. I went into early menopause at 47 so pretty much kind of lost hope - although I know you can still ovulate when you don't have your period. I recently read an article about Melatonin being able to reverse meopause! I would like to know if anyone in a similar situation would be interested in trying it for 6 months with me to see if there any results. I just got a bottle of it today ; ) Still hoping to conceive!

Code 521
Posted 13 July 2016

Liz, 44, London, UK

I am interested in connecting with other over-40 mums trying to conceive. I am 44 years old and already trying.

Code 520
Posted 6 July 2016

Sarah, 49, UK

I am 49 and a half and have just found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant, having had a blood test a few months ago which confirmed that I am perimenopausal!  I already have two grown up daughters and a 5 year old but I feel very anxious at the prospect of having another baby at this age.  I can identify very much with the “older” moms/mums who say that they can feel isolated in the playground as I already often feel like this when I drop off and pick up my 5 year old, even though I feel that I am “young for my age”.  I do have lots of friends my own age but none with young children.

I would really like to talk to anybody who is or has been in a similar situation.

Code 519
Posted 14 June 2016

Neera, 46, London, UK

I'm 46 years old and preparing myself for egg donation birth. I would desperately love to chat with mothers in my situation. I'm married with a supportive husband a couple of years younger than me. I would like to communicate with mothers near my age group preparing for pregnancy, whether it be natural or by egg donor. It will be great to be in touch with women in London or in England, but I am also happy to communicate with overseas' mums and mums-to-be also.

Code 518
Posted 10 February 2016

Lisa, 44, UK

I turn 44 next week, which the doctor at the IVF clinic reminded me of a couple of weeks ago. We have been trying for a baby for the last 3 years and have had 2 miscarriages. So now we are doing IVF. There is so much negativity surrounding women over 40 it seems. I really wasn't aware of this until now and to find your site has given me hope. It would be great to hear from any other women my age who are going through the same thing.

Code 517
Posted 4 December 2015

Lana, 45, Manila, Philippines

I am 45 now (46 in August). Had some tests, resulting in a high fsh level of 43.25 mIU/ml. I'm healthy - no diabetes, no heart problem, no kidney problem and have normal ovaries. My hubby and I have been together for more than 2 years now and are sexually active. He's healthy too. But until now we have never got pregnant. I had some positive tests, but ended up bleeding. I'm still hoping. My mom's last child was at age 45. There are 7 of us and she went through the menopause in her late 50s.

I would like to know others' experiences, especially a first timer trying to conceive at mid 40s. I'm physically and emotional healthy. I look much younger than I am. I never smoke, drink or do drugs and eat a healthy diet.

Code 516
Posted 26 May 2015

Anne, 47, Switzerland

I am 47 years old, based in Switzerland, and after several years of being on the fence due to career and facing lots of personal fears of being a mother, decided I want to have a child desperately. We have been TTC for about 6 months and have recently started stimulated ovulation after having an HSG - where one tube was blocked - but now unblocked.  Apart  from my age, everything on my side and husband's side is completely normal.  However, because of my age, we've had lots of negativity around this from all the fertility docs - with the docs saying I am too old, and we should forget about IUI and IVF and go straight for a donor egg or adoption. We really do not want to give up hope yet...and I just don't know where to go or what to do. We've both had friends have babies in their mid-40s and both of my grandmothers had kids in their 40s.

I don't have a lot of experience in this area, and am feeling very alone and scared - from the emotional part to the medical part - with all the risks we keep hearing about. 

I would really like to hear from women who have been trying, have similar stories and experiences, and have been successful.  I do not want to give up hope yet!  Please help!

Code 515
Posted 27 March 2015

Darlene, 45, St. John's, Newfoundland

I am a 45 year old women (46 in March). I met the man of my dreams and want to have his child. We did get pregnant in May 2013, but miscarriaged July 2013 (at 9 weeks).  Then in December 2014, we got pregnant again, but again just miscarried Jan 2015 (8 weeks). We are still in shock! I am getting stressed because of my age. The doctors are telling me there is no hope with my eggs because I am too old. But I have heard stories of other having healthy pregnancies at age 46.  My friend who is 47 year old just had a healthy baby by using a donor egg. We are thinking about going that route, but I am not sure if it will work because I already had two miscarriages!! I am afraid to continue trying to get pregnant on my own because we may miscarriage again and lose precious time.  I would love to hear from anyone who has any stories like mine, or anyone who has any advice. I really want to be a mom; there is such a void now that I really want to fill.  Please Help!

Code 514
Posted 6 February 2015

Sharon, 45, Vancouver, Canada

My soul mate arrived in my life when I turned 43.  He is a lovely man and our dream is to have a child.  We have tried and lost two babies over the past two years. I have now reached the magic age of 45, and have faced the realization that I may not have a child of my own.  However, my doctors are still  very encouraging as I have been able to get pregnant.  Trying to have a clean and healthy lifestyle. Organic foods, time outdoors, no coffee or alcohol and key supplements.  My maternal grandmother had healthy children in her 40's.

Would love to hear from others who are trying and have been successful.  Thank you ladies for sharing your stories, and encouragement.

Code 513
Posted 10 October 2013

Catherine, 43, Loughborough, UK

I'm 43 and my daughter is nearly 3 (I only met my husband 4.5 years ago). She took 9 months to conceive (3 of those months I used Glucophage tablets for PCOS). We have been trying for a 2nd child for 18 months using Glucophage (and I miscarried nearly a year ago). I have tried acupuncture, homeopathy, top vitamin supplements and a diet fit for a king (I have a BMI of 24). I've had my blood checked and I'm still ovulating. Due to expense I can not get IVF. We are giving it another 7 months until our deadline of May 2014. I know a few women who have had their first 2 children in their 40's (mainly IVF);  in fact my neighbour managed to have 3 between 40-43 with no IVF! I think it must be a fate thing as there is always some women who have miracle children. I do not wish to adopt/foster. I just wonder what else there is left to try. There are books for sale about this topic, and as I am not working at the moment I can't afford to waste money. An article on the Bounty website said that 25% of couples now account for solo child families because of age/fertility issues/career and rising costs. I know I am lucky to have a healthy child but it is difficult when she asks for a brother or sister.

Code 512
Posted 9 October 2013

Maxine, 43, UK

I would really like to 'meet a mum' who could give me some advice.

I am 43 and I got married last year. I have a daughter who is 17. My husband has no children; he would love a child but has left the decision up to me. As much as I would love another child, and a child with my husband, all I can think about is when the child is 16 I would be 60 and it would be like having a 'grandmother' as a mum; would I see my grandchildren? My daughter really does not like the idea of me having another baby. I am so confused; can anyone help?

Code 511
Posted 29 July 2013

Marg, 40, Melbourne, Australia

I am 40 years old, have 3 children and have just got with my new partner who is 25 years old and has no children. I had my tubes clamped 12 years ago and was looking at getting them reversed. I am trying to find somewhere cheap in Melbourne Victoria Australia. I was hoping someone could help? Also, what are my chances of conceiving?

Code 510
Posted 9 July 2013

Robbie, 49, London, UK

Can anyone please help? I feel very much alone with my situ. I am considering going for one round of IVF - a more gentle version than the usual. I've not any any previously. Im very much alone - an on and off partner who absolutely doesn't want a child anyway, but who is supplying the sperm.  (Simply as he promised and we keep splitting because of all this as he does not, definitely, want a child). I'm contemplating egg donation, though with my my age, the fact that I will be alone and with very little in terms of a support system, plus I'm unemployed and live in London - I feel I'm being unfair on the child before it's been born!  The only thing I have is plenty of love for this potential child....

Please can anyone advise? I've been told all the risks at conceiving at my age and they are many. Down's Syndrome especially. Plus miscarriage. (I think I've had two natural miscarriages already in the very early weeks; late, then very heavy period). I'm worried for several reasons and I've no one to talk to. It's all making me quite ill. I dont wish to moan but feel very alone. Also, am I wasting my time and the very little money I have, trying IVF at least this once?

After that, if it doesn't work, I'm trying egg donation.  But even that, I'm still unsure about - being someone else's egg and so on, but everyone is saying this is the only way for me. (All NHS staff has been very dismissive). Plus I've no time to waste! I really want a child and circumstances didn't allow until now, but this is my last chance, given I've just turned 49. (My guy made me delay.) But at my age, and with little support, how will I cope if any of it works? So close to 50, I'm actually finding I'm more tired and extremely concerned I will be unable to help/look after/play fully with the child. Plus the prejudice folk will show. Do you know if there are there any fertility counsellors I can talk to in London? Time is of the essence!

Can anyone please offer ANY advice on any of the above? Plus info/forums/hospitals in, say, India where it may be easier to try and get egg donation or IVF cheaper. Anything to help would be great please. And finding other buddies in similiar situ too?

Code 509
Posted 12 March 2013

Samantha, 43, UK

Hi, I am 43 years old. I conceived with my son just after my 40th Birthday and he was born December 2010. I currently have a coil fitted and I am looking into getting it removed as my husband and I would like to try for another baby.

My husband and I have been together since 2005 and had suffered several miscarriages for which we were seeing a consultant for, but we decide that we had had enough upset and would stop trying, so to carry our son full term was amazing.

In past relationships I have undergone donor inseminstion and ICSI/ IVF treatment to no avail.

When I conceived my son I had lost 5 stone in weight (as I wanted to get in better shape before I was 40).  Whilst pregnant I had to take aspirin as prescribed by consultant. I also cut out caffeine from my drinks.  I stopped smoking at the start of 2009 so that wasn't and issue and didn't drink alcohol.

Towards the end of the pregnancy I suffered one episode of high blood pressure probably due to the fact that I'd been kept waiting over 2 hours for an appointment (notes not put out for clinic).

My labour was induced, I ended up having a forceps delivery. A few days after I had to have a 2 unit blood transfusion due to very low hB. My son was in NICU with breathing problems, sepsis and low blood sugar made a good recovery.

I am looking to be in touch with someone thinking about attempting or has tried for another child at the same age range to share worries/progress with.

Code 508
Posted 4 March 2013

Dee, 43 Alabama, US

I have a 6 year old, and I was 36 when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. She has often asked for brothers and sisters and after getting divorced and got together with younger man, who would love to give my daughter her biggest wish. The plan is set into action!

However, I’m 43... nearly 44. I don’t see myself as old and my partner doesn’t either. After a very stressful time with the ex, my doctor says that I have to relax and get back to being the person I was before... to be able to conceive. It’s a lot of stress since I feel my time is running out... so if there is anyone out there that is in the same boat as myself... please get back to me... I would love to hear your story.

We are excited for the day we have to tell my daughter that she is going to be a big sister. She has been asking for about 4 years now. So keep your fingers crossed for us.

Code 507
Posted 26 February 2013

Linda, 48, Australia

I have three children, aged 20, 15 and 6. I had my 6 year old at  41 (no issues) and have just accidentally fallen pregnant at 48! I thought I was past it and although I have not had any menopause symptoms yet, I thought my age would protect me.

Don't know what I am going to do at this stage, but thought it might be inspiration to other readers. I am really sick and have very strong pregnancy symptoms, so am not too worried about miscarrying at this point.

Hubby wants me to terminate as he is worried about defects. Also, we are sort of separated at present although still in contact obviously.

My 20 year old and 15 year old are giving me hell - generally! They don't know about this and I don't know whether I want another evil teen in 12-15 years!!!!

My kids and My elderly mother would be appalled if they knew, as would all my friends!

Sort of excited though…..

Code 506
Posted 19 November 2012

Lisa, 41, UK

I will be 42 in December this year and I would love to strike up a friendship with someone with similar circumstances to me. Not only am I an older wanna be Mum (incidentally I have a 20-year-old son and an 18-month-old grandson!), I am hoping to have a baby with my much younger partner. :0)

This has been met with the usual comments - in particular my partner's family who no longer speak to me (their loss!).

I have been trying for about a year and have just been prescribed Metformin as I have PCOS.

Code 505
Posted 29 October 2012

Bebe, 43, Adelaide, Australia

I would love to meet and chat with other older first time mums and hear about their experiences.

Unfortunately, through a series of tragic life events I didn't have the opportunity to have a child earlier and would dearly love just one angel in my life if possible. I am 43 and my dear man is 31. We have just been through all the tests and apart from the age of my eggs look good to go, yet have not had any success. Talking to doctors is really getting me down and I've had a few awful experiences which have crushed me. From what I can tell, most think I've waited deliberately and are pointedly blunt and cold about our chances.

Code 504
Posted 26 September 2012

Jana, California, US

I'm so happy to find this site! I had my first son at 40, after losing a baby at 17 and a half weeks and had second son at 42...I now find myself accidentally pregnant {more accidental than usual] and I am terrified and feeling like my husband.and I will be harshly judged. Just need to chat with some people who understand.

Code 503
Posted 11 July 2012

Carolyn, Massachusetts, 52

I became pregnant unexpectedly at age 45 and delivered my son in March of 2006 at age 46.

Adam is my one and only child. I would have stayed "on the fence" about motherhood forever if he had not barged into our lives! Now I only wish I'd started sooner, as I'm past the point where I can provide him with siblings. So, we're moving forward with preparations for adoption.

Motherhood over 40 has been exhausting for me at times, but has also added so many wonderful dimensions to my life, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! Adam is our little gift from God.

Code 502
Posted 25 May 2012

Kerrie, 46, Sydney, Australia

Kerrie has had two children in her 40s and shares her story on one of the experiences' pages. She has said that she is happy to chat to anyone about her experiences. If you would like to get in touch with Kerrie after reading her story, then please do email me with your details and I will pass them onto her. Jan

Code 501
Posted 16 May 2012

Marilyn, 40, Western Cape, South Africa

I'm 40 and trying to conceive again after 3 miscarriages. I have a daughter aged 7 years. I'm an South African citizen staying in the most beautiful Western Cape in Kuilsriver.

I would like to correspond with mums from any where in the world.

Code 500
Posted 16 May 2012

Lorraine, 42, UK

I have a daughter who is almost 8-years-old and have just had another baby 6 weeks ago.  I am struggling with my worries about what other people think of me having a baby at 42.  I feel like shutting myself away from everyone.  I really would like to hear from other mums in the UK, who have just had a baby in their early forties or have just had their second child in their early forties.

Code 499
Posted 22 April 2012

Susan, 43, Perth, Australia

I'm 43-years-old and am trying for baby number two. I have a 6-year-old and I live in Perth, Western Australia. I would love to correspond with women from Perth.

Code 498
Posted 18 April 2012

Claire, 48, North East of England

I'm soon to be 48 and have 5 children between the age of 28 and 14. Even though I have a granddaughter and another on the way, my husband and I are desperate to have another baby.  We have only been trying for 4 months but it is our secret as I worry about people's reactions.  I am afraid to talk to my GP because I take a lot  of medication and I don't think  he will support me and of course because of my age!

Anyway, I'm feeling a little lonely with it all so it would be lovely to hear from someone who is going through a similar situation 

Code 497
Posted 8 April 2012

Fran, 52, London, UK

I am now 52 (!) and am still wanting to have a third child. My husband and I married 30 years ago and have two boys aged 26 and 21. I was 38 when I began to want another child but at the time I thought I was too old and I hoped the desire would pass. Seven years later - aged 45  - we finally decided to try - for the first time since my last boy had been born. Two miscarriages followed and once again I tried to get over the unrelenting desire to have another child.

This constant and overwhelming desire seems every bit as strong despite the passing years or the fact that we have experienced parenthood. My husband has huge reservations about our ages and whether this is fair on the child. Notwithstanding, after much soul searching he has agreed for us to explore donor egg ivf (we have an appointment at a clinic later this month). 

Many friends of a similar age simply cannot understand why I should want a baby now and frankly family members were very critical when I fell pregnant in my late forties - as far as they were concerned I should be thinking about holidays and 'enjoying myself' rather than this! I haven't shared any this with family members since.

I would be interested in hearing from anyone who can relate to what I'm experiencing particularly anyone who already has grown up children ( people have said to me that they can't understand this broodiness because it's not as if I haven't had kids after all).

Code 496
16 March 2012

Char, 46, New York, US

I am desperate to have a baby.  I have dedicated most of my life to my business and my 2 kids ages 22 and 18 (both boys).  Throughout the years, tried many time to have another baby, but hubby's erectile dysfunction has been an issue l (He's 59)  as well  as busy, stressful, working life.  Since the 18 year old is in college romance is rekindled and I realize that I have been longing for more babies for many many years. This feeling for a baby is very deep and profound I have always wanted more kids.  

Started to call fertility clinics (best ones in the U.S.A)  and kept hearing the horrible stats on me having my own biological child with my own eggs.  After 45 its like 1% with invitro !!!  Well, this was a shock as I didn't know when women hit 38 your eggs are bad quality and limited you lose fertility each year like a waterfall (not even a fawcet (per one clinic)   I was in shock and each clinic I called made me more upset when they told me the horrible chances of becoming pregnant with my own eggs. When you say your age  (46) they start talking about donor eggs ( again these are the best in the U.S.A)  If I knew this years ago I would not have waited. No one, not even my gyne told me my eggs were old and limited !!! 

I am an educated woman and well just didn't know.  In fact, I cried so much last month after making these calls my period only lasted 3 days and now came in 22 days not my normal 28 day cycle.   I am here in New York seeing a really awesome Dr. who specializes in (older women). His motto is "It only takes one good egg"  He does a very gentle approach to IVF.  Never said anything about the dreaded donor egg issue. 

Looking for friends and hope.  Life is nothing without children.

Code 495
Posted 8 March 2012

Judi, 42, Pennsylvania, USA

I have two boys 22 and 23 and a 17 year old stepson. My husband and I just had a baby girl in Oct. 2010. We had her IVF and were blessed with success the first time.  I was 41 when I delivered her.  When I expressed fear to my wonderful ob/gyn she said if she was forty she would have another baby, not to worry.

I am so grateful for my children. However we are considering doing it again so she doesn’t have to grow up without the joy of a close sibling and because we have enjoyed every minute of this life changing event, God has blessed us. Her brothers are crazy about her and she loves them, but they are so much older and are leading their own lives.

Interested in some feedback from anyone who has done IVF twice. I am worried about birth defects. I wouldn’t want to be unfair to the little one.

Code 494
Posted 7 March 2012

Kiran, 45, India

I have been TTC since 3½years. My husband is 59 and not very keen though but I am quite keen to have a baby of my own.

I am not open to the idea of donor eggs but now have become more accepting to the idea of frozen donor sperm.

Just a bit of info: About 16years ago I had an induced abortion due to an unfortunate turn of events and the baby was not of my husband as I was not married then.

So I think I am suffering from secondary infertility, but this I am saying because I am assuming my husband's sperm count is good though he has never tested it.

I am wondering if any of you ladies have tried IUI with frozen donor sperms at 45years age and succeeded?

Code 493
Posted 23 February 2012

Maria, 54, Brazil

I am 54-years-old, Brazilian, and have a great dream: becoming a mother. So I would like to make friends and exchange experiences with women who were or are trying to be mother. Currently I live in Brazil, but I have lived in Sweden and also have Swedish citizenship. I really like making new friends, especially with people who are in the same boat as me.

Code 492
Posted 6 February 2012

Stella, 41, California, US

I'm 41 and got pregnant (accidentally) at 40. At 8 weeks there was a heart beat.  At about 9 - 10 weeks, there was no heartbeat.  I passed the pregnancy around 12 - 13 weeks.

We then started trying again and have not had any luck for about a year now. 

We are planning to start IVF in the next few months.

I would love to have an opportunity to write to any or all of the women above, so I can give and get encouragement.

Code 491
Posted 1 February 2012

Anne, 39

I turned 39 on 30th December 2011.  My partner and I do not have any children so would love to become parents.  Before I came across your site I was so put off by all  the negative opinions of so called experts that I nearly gave up!  I did fall pregnant last May after our first try, but had a miscarriage. I split up from my partner and have met someone new.  My nan was 46 when she had her last child naturally, so there is hope.

I would like to chat to other mothers in my position.

Code 490
Posted 1 February 2012

Pamela, 43, California, US

I am married and I have 7 children and 2 stepchildren ranging from 5 to 24 years.  I had 5 children and my husband 2 and we had 2 together.I had a tubal ligation after my last daughter in 2006 and just had a reversal done because it had dramatically affected my health.  I am less then two weeks post op and thinking a lot about the possibility of pregnancy.  I have mixed feelings.  Sometimes I think no way, I am too old and I finally put my last child in school!  Then sometimes I think of how great it would be.  My hormones are going to take a while to regulate and we can't even try until after the middle of March to conceive if that is our desire.  I want to honor God and trust in him for my family size but I am scared at the same time.  If any of you relate to the feeling of fear I would love to talk with you.  On top of all that I am a grandmother to one baby girl and I am sure there will be more coming soon.  I have decided to treat my body as though it were going to conceive and start exercising, eating better and taking vitamins just in case.  As with many of you, my family and friends who know I can now get pregnant think it's crazy, but I am used to that having already had 7 kids. 

Code 489
Posted 30 January 2012

Rachel, 46, Melbourne, Australia

I have been trying to conceive since 2009 with my second husband. I am 46 and he is nearly 30. We have tried ovulation induction with no success. Doctors have said  I might have chance with IVF or donor eggs but my husband will not agree to these. I have been trying acupuncture and Chinese herbs since June 2011. I have also started to take amazon herbs for last month but still no luck. I would like to meet other mums who have been TTC like me.

Code 488
Posted 5 January 2012

Shelley, 41, Ontario, Canada

I am a 41-year-old woman and my husband had a vasectomy reversal last June. I have 4 previous children and he has 1. We performed the at home spermcheck fertility test and it was positive. I have started taking Fertilaid for women. We seem to have several things in our way - the Vas reversal and the age factor for me. I'd feel much more confident if I knew anyone was once in the same boat as us, and had success. His vasectomy was 18-years-old; however, we did have the microsurgery and it seems to have worked, though we don't know about motility.(he won't get a test performed at a clinic).

I used to get pregnant so easily - too easily, so this is getting very hard to wrap my head around. I still have periods to the day so menopause hasn't reared its ugly head yet.

Please help - some reassurance would be greatly appreciated at this point.

Code 487
Posted 5 January 2012

Sheri, 47, Jacksonville, Florida, US 

I am a 47 year old mom with 3 children, aged 19, 8 and 5. I had my tubes tied in 2006 with the birth of my son at the age of 42. This past month, I skipped my period for the first time ever outside of a bonafide pregnancy. While I am thinking that my symptoms could be 'early' menopause, all that I know tells me that I am pregnant. I have all the classic signs of pregnancy, including 'morning sickness' which is a daily routine. If you are an older mom who has had your tubes tied, but God had other plans for you, I would love to hear from you. I will be making an appointment with my doctor this week.

Code  486
Posted 3 January 2012

Katerina, 41, Czech Republic

I am interested to write and contact with other ladies hoping to be a mother after 41 like me.

I am aged 41, from Czech and my husband is Persian, aged 32. We are very happy together and have been trying for a baby for the last 5 months. I feel every month many emotions and am disappointed after seeing no result, especially because I am running out of time.We are both healthy. Any advice or experiences?

Wish good luck to all of you.

Code 485
Posted 29 December 2012

Kirsten, 51, New Mexico, US

Hi, I had my first wonderful daughter just after my 50th birthday and am now pregnant from a donor egg at 51. I had a wonderful uncomplicated pregnancy. This time I am a bit more conscious of my age and want to establish a strong support system with some other women.  We live in the country and want to rear our children in the influence of nature.  Can anyone out there relate to this?

Code 484
Posted 21 December 2011

Aleia, 38, Pittsburgh, US

I love pregnancy and childbirth, child rearing.  I will be 39 in February 2012.  I would love to be penpals with anyone who is willing.   I am not pregnant now, but I have 3 children ages 2, 8 and 12.  I want two more children.  I hope God will bless me to have two more and take care of all five!!!!

Sincerely, I love family.  Children make the world a better place.  Moms of all ages need support and encouragement to remain calm and endure!!!

Code 483
Posted 19 December 2011

Veronica, 45, US

My name is Veronica I turned 45 in November and new husband (Married in February 2011) have been trying to conceive for just about a year.  We have both been to the doctor, his sperm count is triple the normal, not bad for a 45 about to be 46 year old!  As for me all my hormone levels are normal and the ultra sound showed that everything looks good.  My cycle are like clock work and have always been.

I have one child she is 23, but my husband's ex-wives were both unable to have children.  He would love nothing more than to have a child and so would I.  I did get pregnant in April of this past year but miscarried on Father's Day it was devastating to both of us but we both knew something just wasn't right from the very beginning.  The doctor is very supportive and encouraged us to keep trying and so we do. 

We agree that fertility treatments are not for us, if it is God's plan for us to have children than we will.  We try to stay positive but it is discouraging each month as we hold our breath and wait to see if I get my period.  Well today is one of those days and when I awoke this morning I found that yet again we are not pregnant.  HELP!  Our family (for the most part) is very supportive of our decision as are our friends but no one really understands the monthly frustration of the wait and see game.  Although I have a family history of woman who have children into their 40's, neither side of the family has a history of birth defects, we don't seem to be able to get pregnant.

I would love to interact with other woman going through the same thing who understand the frustrations, who have been successful in getting pregnant naturally, and have any advice to share.

Code 482
Posted 6 December 2011

Nancy, 45, Arizona, US

I just turned 45 Oct 2011 and got married for the first time in July 2011 to my husband - his first marriage also - who is 12 years younger then me.  I have two grown children; he has none and we both really want a child together.  We started infertility treatments in July but to no avail.  We are considering moving onto IUI next month.  We have been using clomid with injectables and timed intercourse. I could really use some encouraging news out there from other women around my age that it is really possible to get pregnant.  I had three eggs this month but no pregnancy.  And there are some many sites and postings saying that our eggs are just too old to have a child (with our own eggs).

I don't think I have ever wanted/needed anything else so much in my life.  My husband and I are so much in love and would love to have a child of our own  He does not want to use donor eggs and realistically we are unable to afford donor eggs anyway.  The question is am I too old and wasting money on infertility treatments or is it really possible.

Code 481
Posted 21 November 2011

Kim 43, Las Vegas, NV, USA (Updated)

Updated message 21 November 2011

Update. Thanksgiving weekend brings us into week 26 and our third trimester! All is going well. Have had CVS and amniocentesis testing. Both came back normal healthy baby girl. They have had a cardiologist look at her through ultrasound, all good there too. This pregnancy has been really pretty easy, no complications yet. Feeling great and surprising doctors. Can't wait to meet our girl! Her name will be Lillian Joann.

Updated message 13 July 2011:

The doctors are shocked that we conceived naturally and that I was able to get pregnant at all. So right away they order blood work and ultrasound tests. At the time of the ultra sound i was just a few days past 5 weeks’ pregnant, 3 gestational weeks. They didn’t see a heartbeat and said my sack was tear drop shaped and that they believed i had or was miscarrying based on that. I’ve had no spotting or cramping, a little morning sickness, but not bad. Overall I feel great. They repeated blood testing for hormone levels again. The Dr called me later in the day with the results. My levels had gone from 550 to 8500 and she was surprised to tell me I was still pregnant and it appears to be a normal healthy pregnancy. They want to repeat the ultrasound after 19 July because then I will be 7 1/2 weeks and it should have a detectable heartbeat.

Original Message

Hi, I just turned 43 last week. I have a 4½-year-old son from my previous marriage. My present husband has no children of his own and desperately wants one or more. He and I both raised 2 stepchildren to adulthood each in our previous marriages and that can be birth control in itself (lol). And for both of us it was in our younger years. My son was my decision and not my ex’s and consequently he mandated a permanent form of birth control, although he would not have a vasectomy. So I had an IUD after the birth of my son. Not sure if that's affecting my ability to get pregnant. I would not allow him to pressure me into tying my tubes because I wanted more children even though he did not and thought if he died or we divorced, then I might have the chance with another mate to have more children. The divorce happened; I met Jon, 46, and we have been trying to conceive naturally for the past 6 months since my IUD was removed. I started having periods again right away, cycle every 26-27 days. Have been doing home ovulation testing and ovulate day 10-12. He has had a semen analysis that was in the normal ranges. I had a Hysto something test to make sure my tubes are clear, normal. I had no trouble conceiving my son at 38. I'm getting very discouraged. I will see a fertility doctor and an OBGYN to discuss IVF options. The negative feedback we receive from family and friends that think we are too old does not bother us. Most think we are younger than we are as neither of us has gray hair and we pack a 4-year-old everywhere we go :-).

Looking for words of encouragement and hope that I can have at least one, if not two more children. Jon is an awesome father to my son and I only hope I can give him the gift of his own child. I know how badly I wanted and love my son and I think being able to relate to his desire for a child and knowing the joy that comes from fulfilling that desire makes it even harder to handle as another month goes by with no success. Looking for support and friends, hopefully some in the western United States. Good luck to all in our same predicament!

Code 474
Posted 8 July 2011

Bev, 44

I'm a 44 year old pregnant mom with 2 children from a previous marriage. My new partner has never had children. I'm due in February and would love to hear from some other women around my age.

Code 480
Posted 13 November 2011

Katherine, 43, San Francisco Bay, CA, US

I am a first time stay-home mom of a 2 year old who would like to meet/talk/write/communicate with other older first-time moms in a similar situation. In my progressive neck of the woods, you would think that I would meet older first time moms, but I haven't at all!  Almost all of my friends are childless, most don't want kids; they like to do things with "just me", not my child, which makes me feel isolated. On the other hand, I have several friends are in their late 30's/40's, who would love to have a child, but haven't or cannot, for whatever reason.

Anyway, would love to connect with other moms in my same situation, where ever you are! Would love to keep it positive and real.  I am starting to get anxious for the time when my child begins school or not, as I may just home school. I already feel like a misfit at times, but the older mom thing might make me feel more so. It is hard lacking connection with anyone in my same situation. I am totally blissful with my child, we do fun and educational things daily in country and city, things that most kids never get to do, but get a little scared, also that she is an only child, and most likely will be. We also have very little family support, as they live far away, which is a bit hard on my little family, too. I did have a career, graduate school, the whole enchilada, but now I want to simply be a nurturing stay-home mom and never want to go back to my career. In fact, trying to find ideas for a new one!

Code 479
Posted 31 October 2011

Stephanie, 39, Winnipeg, Canada 

I have been with my partner for 3 years (now engaged).  When we met I said I was done with having more kids and he said he was ok with that.  Recently he told me he would like to have one of his own.  I have 2 from a previous marriage (ages 11 and 9) and everyone gets along great.

He is younger than me (10 years).  I understand his wanting a child and I have always wanted 5 kids but my age really concerns me now .  I would like to hear from others that have had to make this decision.  Weighing age and possible complications vs the miricle of a baby.

On a side note:  I am healthy, but have alot of stress from my ex.

Code 478
Posted 17 October 2011

Sooz, 42, Melbourne, Australia

I am 42 and have been doing IVF for a year. I would like to hear from any heavy 40+ ladies who have conceived. I am healthy, but a chunky monkey!

Code 477
Posted 30 September 2011

Donna, 43, Maryland, US

I just turned 43 and my fiance is 49. Neither of us have any children yet. We are planning to get married this year and are also trying to conceive. We've tried 3 times within the past 6 months and I believe I am getting pregnant (I haven't tested myself because I wait first to see if my period will come), but I have some pregnancy symptoms right away and then lose them very early - within 15 days.  I believe this is due to low progesterone, but I haven't had a doctor discuss this with me yet. We have an appointment with my third obgyn doctor and I'm hoping to get some information and not shuffled off to a fertility clinic instead. I have nothing against fertility clinics when the time comes, but I feel there are other less intense things to try first. I try new things constantly to improve my health, but unfortunately I have autoimmune hypothyroidism that I think has led to other hormonal and various health issues, including depression.

I'm very interested in diet, herbs and vitamins and would like to try those before fertility treatments.
I am looking for other women who are also interested in these topics. I'm sometimes ambivalent about having children at this late age and my mood disorder worries me too. I don't want to pass that onto children and I also worry about my ability to handle them at this age. I'm looking for someone I can communicate with openly and exchange information, encouragement and support.

Code 476
Posted 30 September 2011

Didi, 42, Cameroon, Africa

I'm 42 and have tried to get pregnant for 10 years. I've finally turned to IVF.

I would like to get in touch with those who, like me, have struggled and finally made it.

Code 475
Posted 9 September 2011

Jennifer, 40, Oklahoma, US

Hi, I'm Jennifer and I am 40-years-old.  I'm from Oklahoma born and raised. I have been happily married for 12 years. I have 3 children 17, 10 and 7. I enjoy photography, reading, pen paling, texting, camping, fishing, Cub Scout outings with my son and soccer practices with my 10-year-old daughter and 17-year-old daughter also.

I prefer writing to women only between the ages of 38-50  to talk about life's struggles and our children.

Code 473
Posted 31 May 2011

Dawn, 47, UK

Hi I’m Dawn. I have just turned 47 and had my third child, a little girl on March 31st 2011.

I live in Worcestershire, England and I am looking to find some friends who have a new baby and are around the same age as myself.

I have two other children aged 25 and 23.

I have lots of interests including reading and travelling but my main interest now is my new baby girl.

Code 472
Posted 21 May 2011

Mary, 43, Calgary, Canada

I am in Calgary, Canada and I am 43 years old and so is my husband. We are currently 20 weeks’ pregnant with a healthy baby boy!! We conceived through IVF on our first try after over 3 years of trying which included 2 miscarriages and three tries of IUI. This little angel will be the first one for both of us. He will most likely our only angel even though we do still have one egg frozen.

I want to let other would be moms out there know that it is possible. They gave my husband and I only an 8 to 10% chance of getting pregnant and then if we got pregnant we had a 50% chance of losing our baby before 12 weeks. We beat the odds and I know that others can too.

I too am looking for other women who are in there forties who like me, are new moms and/or first time moms or moms to be.

Code 470
Posted 4 April 2011

Sawda, 40, Dakar, Senegal

I am from Senegal.  I lived in Michigan for 13 years before returning to Africa (Senegal).  I miscarried in October 2010.  It was very hard for me!  My husband and I are trying to conceive since we got married last year.  We are both so looking forward to having a baby!  I hope that it'll happen very soon! I'd like to hear from other women who are trying to have a baby. 

Code 469
Posted 23 March 2011

Cas, 49, London, UK

I am an older mother, aged 49 and my children are  24,18 and 5 years.  My son was born when I was 43 and he is lovely. Now I dedicate my time to my family and my art career.  Although my son´s school should be an opportunity to make friendships I too find it difficult to engage with the younger mothers.

I wonder there are any older mothers in London. It would be great to speak to another mother with similar a experience.

Code 468
Posted 14 March 2011

Claire, 39, New Hampshire, US

I am going to be 40 in April and my husband of almost 10 years will be 38 in May.  We have just begun the IVF process and are excited.  I have a 14-year-old daughter from my 1st marriage and my husband has no children of his own.  We have found some people very supportive and others saying “You are too old.  You will be 60 when your child is 20”.  I am looking to find a place to share my thoughts with other “older” moms.  Thanks!

Code 467
Posted 21 February 2011

Meredith, 45, Augusta, Georgia, US (Updated 19 February 2011)

I turn 46 in April and my surprise baby is due via C-section March 28th. It’s been a pretty easy pregnancy despite discomfort of weight gain! My baby was breech for the last couple of weeks, but she turned last week. Her name is Mary Margaret, and I cannot wait to hold her.

Original Message:
I am 45-years-old and am 7 weeks' pregnant. I have been married for 2 years and have an only child (age 12) from a previous marriage. I had my ultrasound recently and heard the healthy heart beat. My husband is 52. The baby is due the first week of April (I turn 46 then).  I would love to connect with other moms age 45 and older who have delivered healthy babies. Since there was only 1 in 100 chance I would conceive, I quit taking birth control medication.  We are very excited about the baby, but I am scared to death to be pregnant at my age. My prior delivery was by c-section, and I was so sick the whole time. Praying for a smoother ride this time. I see a high risk doctor on Sept 16th. I can’t believe you can now learn the sex of a child at 12 weeks! So much new technology.

Code 458
Posted 18 August 2010

Cal, 45, Australia

I am 45 and 9 weeks pregnant with my 5th child. This baby is due 3 days before my 46th birthday.  It was a huge shock. My older children are 23, 20, 18 and 13. I also have three step children under 14. My partner is five years younger than me. Since I told him four weeks ago he has not mentioned it again but expressed that this is definitely not what he wants. He is waiting for my decision. He has, however, been extremely loving and attentive.  I will have this baby provided all is fine (I am having CVS in two weeks). As there is no discussion he is unaware of this.  I risk losing him but I am independently financially able to go alone. I don't want to, and would rather share the journey with him, but willing to go it alone anyway. I am fit and healthy but having trouble finding good resources on tips to optimize my chances of a normal and healthy pregnancy at 45.  

Code 466
Posted 19 February 2011

Yvette, 44, Canada

I landed on your site and I wish to join the folks whom are trying to conceive after 40. I am 44-years-old. My husband is 40. We have been married for 9 years. We are on our path towards IVF.  I have endometriosis and as a result my tubes are blocked. 9 years ago I learned my husband and I had conceived, but the pregnancy was ectopic. We were both devastated. My left tube was removed. After seeing an IVF consultant, I was told my FSH levels were high. I was told that I may be in menopause. Right now I feel down and I wish to hear words of encouragement and advice with regard to my options i.e. herbs, vitamins etc.

Code 465
Posted 16 February 2011

Ruth, 44, Australia

My name is Ruth, I have been a widow for almost 11 years until I meet my partner this year.  I have a 10-year-old son from my late husband.  I’m 44 and have just found out that I’m pregnant... we very happy.  My partner doesn’t have any children of his own. I am a little concerned to be honest but we are all happy about it... apart from my hormones are all over the place...Really up and down like a yoyo... Has anyone else experienced similar sensations?

Code 464
Psoted 2 December 2010

Amy, 40, Tulsa, OK, US

I am 40 years old, never considered having a family of my own as being an option.  I did school, more school, then pursued a career and travels before settling down.  My husband and I have been married 18 months, not having used birth control the whole time. He has two teenage sons from his first marriage and now we are really trying to have our own child.  We've begun initial visits with a fertility specialist, who said my hormones and ovaries look good for my age. My husband's sperm are borderline effective in terms of motility and shape.  She has recommended a sperm defragmentation test....any word on if that would be helpful info? I want to start with artificial insemination but the cost is admittedly at little much.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and sad that a pregnancy may never happen for me.  Any encouraging words, advice or stories would be helpful.  Or just someone to listen to me vent. Reading other's stories are already a big help. Society here sometimes makes me feel (or, I let myself feel) not so good about myself since I didn't start having kids in my mid 20s. 

Best wishes to everyone.

Code 463
Posted 30 November 2010

Frances, 48, Auckland, New Zealand

Dear friends, I wanted to acknowledge Jan because I can remember earlier in my pregnancy and for about one year later I really wanted to talk with other older mums with similar experiences. It was at times lonely and although my whanau (family) were all around me supporting me 110 percent, I still had my moments.

Two years ago we got a huge shock when at 46-years-old I was pregnant with our third child.  My husband Steve of 30 years thought I was joking when I told him, and my kids who were 26 and 27 years at the time were also stunned. 

Baby was conceived and born naturally; he was 9lb and it was really sore. Took afew days for all the swelling to go away.  I am a big women and at the time I was 120kg. Today I am 92kg and going down.

Baby is now two-years-old he has a bit of a Kingly kinship amongst the whanau (family) and friends; he is special and God is good.

We have our days, but that’s life. We both continue to work full time. Baby enjoys childcare and we are pressing on.

Code 462
Posted 20 November 2010

Sharrie, 40, Texas, US

I am looking for a penpal for my journey to become a mom for the 2nd time. My husband (age 47) and I have a 5-year-old daughter and want to try naturally for a 2nd baby, starting this October 2010. I am so excited but scared due to my health. I look extremely fit and healthy,  but my knee is very arthritic from a motorcycle accident at age 16. I know that it is nothing compared to some, but it still concerns me to carry a baby and work full-time with a bad knee. I'm overall very positive and excited to try. We had considered adoption and still may adopt.

Code 460
Posted 25 September 2010

Susan, 43

I have 3 children, aged 15, 13 and 9 to a previous marriage and my eldest has a physical disability and is in a wheelchair. After much consideration, my partner (aged 52) and I decided to try and have a child of our own, conceived and miscarried in Feb this year and now again recently. I was in a state of total angst and could not see a way forward with the last pregnancy; the fear of disability due to our ages(I am a physio and work in disability), becoming a mother all over again, the changes it would cause to our relationship and the tiredness. I reached out for counselling and wanted to terminate and was not told that these feelings can be normal and they do pass. Instead, I went with my strength in rejecting this baby and terminated. The remorse is unbearable; the anger and the hurt I have caused my partner. If we did try again we will know what to expect and to stay strong. I do still worry about our ages and whether I will get pregnant again after a termination at my age. Any others out there who have done the same insane thing?

Code 459
Posted 6 September 2010

Samantha, 45

I am 45-years-old and trying to conceive.  I have been trying for a year. The stress of the situation is affecting me a lot. Every month there seems to be something that occurs to interrupt the calm necessary for the most optimum time to get pregnant. I don´t know what to do.  I feel like I don't have any control. Why did this happen to me? My mother and cousin had babies at 40 or a little over and I can't.

Code 457
Posted 4 August 2010

Anna, 45, Sweden

I am 45, Dh 50. I have 3 children of my own aged  23, 19 and 16, but Dh has none of his own and we so desire to have a child together.

I have pcos and I have been trying to conceive for the past two years. I would love to meet/write to other mums in a similar situation and would also like to know about natural herbs and vitamins to help older women conceive, because I would like to try natural methods.

Code 456
Posted 1 August 2010

Josanne, 46, Nr Manchester, UK

Hi, I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. My youngest is 24 and eldest 26. I am married to my 2nd husband who has 2 daughters of his own, but we do not have any between us...until now! I was amazed and honestly so shocked to find myself pregnant as I assumed I was 'past it'! Ha, ha. Not so, it seems.

I have yet to have my first scan, which hopefully will be very imminent as when I contacted the ultrasound dept they had no referral from my doctor! I have since contacted the surgery about this. I am really concerned about the possible complications related to pregnancy in older mums.

I would love to have some contact with anyone in a similar situation for some support and friendship.

Code 455
Posted 11 July 2010

Lori, 41, Chicago, US

Hello! My husband and I would love to connect with other mature parents. We have one 7-month-old son and live near Chicago, IL. I work very part-time as a hairdresser and my husband works full-time in construction.  Our interests are hiking, swimming, music, blowing bubbles, having fun with friends
and visiting the animals at the pet store!

Code 454
Posted 9 July 2010

Anna Maria, 42, New York USA

Currently going through 2nd IVF cvcle. Egg retrieval tomorrow 6/17/2010. First IVF cycle ended in chemical miscarriage, although everything had gone very well : fertilized two A quality eggs and responded very well to all meds. Just wondering, can this really happen at my age? Need SUPPORT. I am an emotional wreck!! Would love to speak to someone.

Code 453
Posted 16 June 2010

Lisa, 42, Quebec, Canada

Hi my name is Lisa. I'm 42 yrs old (soon to be 43) and had a tubal reversal done 5 days ago.

My boyfriend and I have decided we'd like to have a baby together.  He has never been married and has no children, he is 12 yrs my junior has never been married and has no children. I am divorced and have 2 wonderful sons, age 15 (soon 16) and 17 yrs old. They're both supportive of our decision, which definitely helps the process.

I have to admit, I'm scared (terrified). People think I'm crazy, I didn't think so until now, but all the comments and remarks have gotten me down, not to mention feeling emotionally drained after the surgery and during recovery.

I would love to chat with someone who has gone through a tubal reversal at my age, anyone who has a positive approach to wanting to get pregnant at my age and not make me feel like I'm absolutely crazy!

Thank you and I wish you all the best of luck ... to happy & healthy babies :)

Code 452
Posted 14 June 2010

Cellina, 48, Maryland, US

I am 48-years-old. I remarried in 2007 and my husband is 55-years-old. He lives in Africa but he will soon join me in USA, He has four children before and I have three of my own, but as soon as he gets here in February 2010, we will like to conceive. Please tell me the best fertility medication for my age and his age. I would be very interested to chat with other ladies who are in my position. Thank you.  Thanks and God Bless.

Code 450
Posted 28 May 2010

Linda, 49, UK

I am 49-years-old and contemplating a pregnancy using donor eggs. This is likely to take place in the month!! I am very excited at the prospect of becoming a mum again although I am also terrified regarding people's reactions at someone my age becoming pregnant. It is a bit of double wammy because I'm not 100% comfortable with donor conception.

It would be great to speak to someone who has conceived at my age and or hear how they have coped with all the negativity, which I know I will be up against.

Code 449
Posted 24 May 2010

Deni, 41, Taiwan

I'm four years older than my husband.  We've been married for 6 years. I'll be 42 later on this year.  We have been trying for about 4 years was our second year when we got the devastating blow that my husband had low motility and low sperm count.  With time running out for me this is not the news we wanted to hear.  It also doesn't help when all of our friends have conceived and my husband's twin brother is now having his second child.  I've tried everything.  I doused my husband with vitamins and he exercises and while his sperm count improved a little it's still not even enough for IVF.  The endocrinologist that we met was so blunt and just told us to "forget about it".  I'm absolutely devastated. Infertility treatment, while cheaper than in the US, is not covered by insurance here in Taipei.  I know that I'm not special and there are other women like me but it still hurts.  To have a beautiful relationship and not be able to extend our love is so sad.   Anyhow good luck and many blessings to everyone else out there who are trying.  God bless!

Code 448
Posted 14 May 2010

Madie, District Heights, Maryland, US

I am a 52-year-old that might be pregnant. I am excited!  My mate and I have never discussed a baby since we both have adult children of our own and grandchildren. But for the past two weeks I have been going through every emotion and symptom of pregnancy.

There are a few catches though; I had my tubes done 19 years ago and my friend was fixed as well. I did see my gyn yesterday and he said there was nothing there. However, I have only been active since March, so I can't be that far along if indeed I am expecting. Really need an older/new mom to talk to.

Code 447
Posted 26 April 2010

Dawn, 41, New York, USA

I'm 41 years old and newly married for the first time (almost 2 yrs). It just shows that you can find true love at any age. I have been trying to conceive my first child since we wed and it has been very difficult. I underwent 2 IUI's, 2 IVF's and 2 Frozen Embryo transfers. I finally got pregnant only to lose the baby at almost 6 weeks on Christmas of 2009. I was distraught to say the least. I have dreamt of having a family since I was a little girl and I pray constantly that God will bless me with a healthy child. I am trying naturally with the help of Fertility Herbs - hopefully this will help. I would love to connect with other women with situations similar to mine.

Code 446
Posted 19 April 2010

Sherriane, 44, New Jersey, US

My name is Sherriane and I am 44 years old.  My husband and I got married 31/2years ago and have been trying to conceive.  We have gone through several rounds of IVF, to have been pregnant once, but unfortunately miscarried.  I absolutely love this site because after all of the procedures, the only reason everyone gives me is my chronological age, for not getting pregnant. Nothing else.  I just believe that it has not been my time due to outside stressors.  Life, is life and I believe that we are going to have our baby. It's nice to see that I'm not alone with my belief that after 40 you can have a healthy baby.  I would love to chat with others who are also in the same kind of situation.

Code 445
Posted 11 April 2010

Mandy, 40, Cambridge, UK

I am a student in Cambridge UK I have recently just got married to a Ghanian man who I love very much. He has no children, but I have 4 from a previous relationship, which ended badly, so I was sterilised. My new husband now would like to try for a baby, which I would also love to do, but this would mean having my sterilisation reversed or fertility treatment. We are currently in the process of seeing a specialist to determine which course of action would be best for us, as I am 40 and my husband is 43. I would just really like to connect with other mums and dads in similar situations who could advice me and perhaps give us some hope.

Code 444
Posted 21 February 2010

Connect With Other Mothers and Those Trying to Conceive
This page has been designed especially for parents over 40 and those trying to conceive who wish to meet others. If you wish to add your own details here, please e-mail me at jandersen8888 at live dot com.  Each posting has an allocated code, which is used as a reference.  If you wish to connect with someone who has already posted on the page, all you need to do is to email me with the name and code number of the person with whom you wish to communicate and I will pass on your message to them.  I do it this way in order to protect the privacy and security of users and to avoid spammers collecting email addresses from the site.  Any messsages that are older than five years are deleted, simply because people's email addresses and circumstances change. If, however, you posted five years or more ago and still wish to retain your details on this page, please let me know. Thank you. :-)
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