Mandy, 47, Middle East
I had been married before for 20 years to a man who could not have his own children and so we adopted two beautiful boys who are now 16 and 13. When I was 42 I remarried a man (also 42) who had had a vasectomy 15 years previous. As we had nothing to lose but everything to gain, he had a reversal of the operation and I conceived naturally within 6 months of the operation. Apart from the morning sickness (which I hated) I had a straight forward pregnancy and birth, apart from the fact that I was induced as I went over my due date by two weeks and my labour lasted for 25 hours. My son is the highlight of my life and a healthy, happy little boy who I treasure dearly.
Since his birth we have not used contraception, initially in the hope that we may be able to give him a younger sibling, but nothing happened and life carried on as normal, until recently, when out of the blue and totally unexpected I now find myself almost 6 weeks pregnant again, naturally, at the age of 47! It is a shock and my emotions are everywhere. I suffer terribly with that horrible nausea constantly and it does nothing to hinder my secret fears of having another healthy baby, I have been blessed once, but twice?
I am scared and feel alone and isolated. I did not have the amnio test in my last pregnancy as I gambled with fate, in the belief that what would be would be. Now though, I know that it is harder to cope with little ones at my age as I do not have the energy levels that I had with my older two children and living in the Middle East I do not have the same support as in the Western World.
I would love to hear from anyone who is or has been in a similar situation at my age and how their pregnancy went or is going. I feel younger than my years and I have always looked after myself, I just feel that I need a little support from people that understand my predicament of shock, excitment, anxiety, apprehension and worry and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Posted 17 November 2008
Marcela, 43, from Colombia, living in Singapore
I am 43 years old and looking forward to getting pregnant. I've gone through 7 I.U.I and my doctor has suggested IVF; she says chances will improve between 3-5 times. My major fear is to have an unhealthy baby. I have read that the risk is VERY much higher for women over 40 (even if my hormones level are still okay and me and my husband are also okay.) This very much higher risk scares me very much and has made me consider adoption (and perhaps drop the IVF) even though I/we really prefer to have my/our own baby. I know everything in life has a risk but certainly this risk is higher for women over 40, and is not just "any" risk, it is a very important and rather a life-changing risk.
I would like to get in contact with other women and ask them how have they overcome this fear (and if they had any fear at all) as I think that reading from their experiences might help me see this under a different perspective. Thank you so much.
Posted 17 October 2008
Maggie, 48, US
I am 48 years old and my youngest is 15 and my oldest is 24. I have 4 children and one ex-stepdaughter I consider my child, so I always say I have 5 children. I have met a man who is 59 and have been wanting to have another child. My fears are am I crazy for wanting a child at this age, will it be safe given our ages, and will my children, especially my 24 year old be embarrassed. I would really love any feedback from mothers who have conceived naturally at around the same age and regrets, if any. I would like to know what are the chances for a healthy child at our ages? My children do not plan on marriage and children anytime soon and so grandchildren are out of the question until I am in my late 50's or early 60's.
Posted 13 October 2008
Suely, 43, from Brazil, living in Colorado Springs, US
Hello to all strong and wonderful after 40s mommies :) I remarried few years ago and we were happily surprised to find ourselves pregnant of our son who was born last year (July 2007). I had a little complication during pregnancy (placenta previa) and had to stay for the 3 last months of the pregnancy on the bed rest at the hospital. Baby was born at 35 weeks, very healthy and handsome :)...We are sooooo happy and full of joy with our baby boy...His sister - 23 years older than him - is going through medical school and they are super close to each other...he looooves his older sister and she is crazy about him :) That is life and God is so good to renew our bodies and bless us all with a new baby when we have already turned 40 (even though I am sure none of us feel 40, maybe 30... or less ;)...Health life and happiness to you all!!!!
Posted 7 October 2008
Connie, 41, South Dakota, US
Hello, I am a 41 yr. old married mother of 5 children, ages 14, 9. 7, 2, and 1. I've had three miscarriages somewhere in between my children.. my living children. When I was pregnant with my 5th and found I was having a boy, I was elated and I thought that now my family would be complete with 3 girls and two boys at the age of 40. Having another baby is on my mind a lot lately. Others around the area where I live would not understand, especially my relatives. I am busy, but very happy with being a stay at home mom. I just need to get more backbone in dealing with what others would say. I can remember after my 5th child was born, I ran into a relative at a store and she remarked to me, that though my children were cute, didn't I think it was time to stop having children. I was insulted. I don't feel old, I don't feel 40. I am in good health.
Part of me just would rather move to a place where there is others like me who want to have large families and still have babies after 40, somewhere I wouldn't be hassled by rude comments.My heart is earning to have another baby. I feel as if there is someone missing that hasn't been born. Here I sit typing, it's nearly midnight. I'm researching websites about having a baby after 40. Everyone is asleep and my secret is safe for now. So, is there anyone out there that can advise me and give me more confidence or just want to talk about it? I'd appreciate hearing from you.
Posted 3 October 2008
Francesca, 43, Italy
Dear friends, I'm writing from Italy. I'm 43 (44 in November); I have two children aged 12 and 9. I have been trying to become mother again for one year and I have fallen pregnant last July, but sadly resulted in miscarriage last Saturday. I'm so sad and would like to meet other women who have the same wish to try again!
Posted 2 October 2008
Julia, 45, Oregon, USA
am 45 years old and have 17 and 6 year old sons from a previous marriage. I have finally married the love of my live and we have been trying to conceive naturally with no success. My sons were not planned pregnancies, so I am not sure how easily I conceive. This is the first time I have consciously/conscientiously tried to get pregnant. I will be having an ovulation test done latter in the month to check if I am still actually ovulating or if I might need to take Clomid. I would love to hear from other Mothers 45 and over with similar issues and how they have dealt with them.
Posted 1 October 2008
Diane, 44, New York, US
I am 44 (will be 45 in 3 weeks) and am unexpectedly 11 weeks' pregnant. I am also bipolar and have had to be taken suddenly off of 6 prescriptions, as well as put on Progesterone suppositories. I am having a CVS this Thursday and have been really nauseous, tired and uncomfortable for the past 6 weeks. I want to get excited about this pregnancy but have been going through so much physically and emotionally, I can't seem to pull myself together. I would love to connect with other mid-40s pg women to start to share BOTH concerns and POSITIVE experiences. Thank you and be well.
Posted 29 September 2008
Sandra, 46, Hong Kong
I am 46, British and living in Hong Kong. I am in a new relationship with a wonderful man who has never had children of his own. He is however wonderful with the 4 I have had thru a previous marriage. I would love to be in touch with anyone of my age who has been successful in getting pregnant naturally. Your site is very positive; many others give me no hope at all.
Posted 29 September 2008
I would like to ask if anyone (particularly over the age of 45) has had successful treatment at Birmingham Women's Hospital, BMI Priory Hospital, Diana Princess of Wales Centre for Reproductive Medicine, Cromwell IVF and Fertility Centre, London Female and Male Fertility Centre, or the London's Women's Clinic.
Posted 23 September 2008
Angela, 44, Essex, UK
I would love to get to know anyone over 40 with secondary infertility or anyone who is ttc naturally.
I am 44-years-old and have children but have met and married a wonderful man who would love to share a biological child with me.
I have never had any problems concieving my other babies; why now I ask myself. Well I am told that I have high fsh and it is for this reason that I will find it hard to concieve. I don't want to give up but realise that I'm approaching 50 when I would have liked to have had all my babies. Would love to hear from anyone who wishes to talk to me.
Posted 8 September 2008
Beth, 41, Erie, PA, US
I will be 42 in December 2008. My husband will be 36 next February. We are trying to start a family. I am scared and looking for people to gather info. from, hear their experiences and learn by them.
Posted 31 August 2008
Nancy, 42, Tennessee, USA
Hi. I am currently trying to concieve at the 'dinosaur age' of 42. Would love to talk with other women in the same situation.
Posted 29 August 2008
Christine, 41, first baby, Switzerland
Hi,I am a 41 year woman. I am expecting my first child and I feel really lonely. I live in Switzerland where (believe it !!) it is a quite backwards. I dont have anyone to talk about my pregnancy except my partner because here women have children between the age of 25 and 35 then we are way much too old. A few weeks ago, a newspaper has made a poll about later motherhood and 80 % of people questioned said that it is too late to have a child after 42 !!!. I feel sad about this, because I dont feel old, this is my choice to have a child at my age, but it seems that everyone wants to make me pay the life I had before, that now I have to pay if I did not marry before, if I did not have children before, if I prefered to travel, work and experience life, it seems that there is the time to pay for all this. It is unfair. The worst is that many people are telling me that when my child will be 20 I will be 61 (and look like his/her grandmother instead of mother) and my child will certainly be shame of having a old mother and again I will pay for it, for having a child at 41. I dont even feel that 60 is old, I mean, it is not young but I am sure that there are women who are 60 who are doing a lot of great things and look great. Please if there is a child who has a older mother, please tell me how you feel, how you feel about the society, about your friends who have younger mothers etc...Thank you so much
Posted 25 August 2008
Gaye, 44, Suffolk, UK (Updated Posting)
Our beautiful, healthy and perfect son was born on 19th February. Any misgivings we had have just disappeared. He is utterly delightful and we are so very happy. I can't believe how lucky I am every time I look at him. As for being older parents - I can't say we've noticed (there isn't the time! lol). Yes we are very fatigued, but what parent isn't?! Other than that, parenting has been remarkably easy and most of all very enjoyable.
I am 44 now. I read in a lot of posts that people feel that they won't get pregnant at such a great age (!?) - be it for the first time or not. Well that is exactly how I felt, and yet somehow it has happened after only 5 months of trying. So, don't give up, put those niggling doubts to the back of your mind, but most of all try not to worry and stress about it. It can and does happen!
After much soul searching and discussion, my partner and I decided to try for our first baby. To my delight my GP was very sensible and sympathetic when I went for a pre-conception chat. We decided to do the battery of blood tests to check I was still ovulating and not perimenopausal. Her strongest advice to me was not to worry or stress about it! To cut a long story short I am now 6 weeks pregnant! It's a bit of a shock to both of us as we didn't really expect it to happen to be honest!
I am 43. I read in a lot of posts that people feel that they won't get pregnant at such a great age (!?) - be it for the first time or not. Well that is exactly how I felt, and yet somehow it has happened after only 5 months of trying. So, don't give up, put those niggling doubts to the back of your mind, but most of all try not to worry and stress about it. It can and does happen!
I know it is very early days and anything can happen, but at least we have managed to conceive, which is the first step. I'd love to hear from anyone who has had their first baby at a similar age. At the moment our overwhelming feelings are ones of shock, anxiety and wondering if we really do want this after all and will we cope?!
Updated 4 August 2008
Toni, 40, Portugal
Hi there, I am married to my second husband. I have a 12 year old son and my husband has three teenage kids from his first marriage. They live in the UK. I always wanted a sibling for my son but my first husband had an affair resulting in getting another woman pregnant. Aafter a divorce etc,I met my second husband and we moved to Portugal from the UK. We got married and found a house here. I fell pregnant in February, but a scan at 12 weeks revealed it ito be a blighted ovum. This was so hearbreaking. I had a D and C in April. Since then I have been anxious to get pregnant again.
It has been so encouraging to come across this site. I feel very alone and sad. My husband has a happy go lucky, just-see-what-happens attitude, but I am so sad when my period arrives. I feel that people think it is ridiculous that I want another baby at my age so I don't talk to anyone about how I feel. It is constantly on my mind. I have a busy job and I have my husband, son and friends, but I have this longing for a child which has become so strong.I love my son so much and this just makes me want another baby all the more.
I would love to hear from anyone who can identify with me. Someone to share with as I am so isolated with my feelings and the monthly ups and downs of rising hope and then the disapointment when the time of the month rolls around again. Love and blessings to you all. I prayer for all the hopeful older mums out there. I am sure our maturity and perspective can only make us better mums.
Posted 30 July 2008
Deirdre, 42, Queensland, Australia
Hi, My name is Deidre, from Tannum Sands, Central Queensland Australia. I am a mother of 3 beautiful boys; Nathan 6, Daniel nearly 5 and Liam 2. I pretty much fell pregnant straight away to them all, but started pretty late in life. Always wanted to have kids young, but I never met my partner until 1998. We got married in 2000 and had our first son in 2002, the next one in 2003, then a year later I fell pregnant, but was diagnosed as having a hyatidiform molar pregnancy when the baby doesn’t develop and only the placenta forms. I was told not to fall pregnant for 12 months as I was tested each month via a urine sample.
Knowing my age was creeping up on me, I wanted to try for a girl. It took one night, which we panicked about because the 12 months was not yet up, but I figured wouldn’t happen yet. In 2006 I fell pregnant to my third gorgeous boy. I had no problem with that but still wanted my little girl to complete my family. My husband was so dead against having a fourth and said it would be too upsetting if I ended up with another boy.
We have been trying now for 10 months and it’s very draining waiting for that day to come each month. I feel for mums and dads trying and and those who can’t conceive naturally and have to go through much much more then I do. How painful it is. My age scares me and I haven’t told a lot of my friends or family. I just feel I would get called an idiot and I know they wouldn’t understand, but all you mums have actually inspired me not to give up. I am turning 42 on 30th July and was going to stop at 42, but I’m continuing on and hope it happens. I’m looking into herbal medicines. Where I have moved to there is nowhere to buy them. On the internet a lot of your products are from America, like Pure oasis serene Progesterone cream, xy drops and yx drops and Clomid.
I also had a Placenta Previa with my second son. Everything went well with that pregnancy but I had to take it easy and was booked in for Caesarean, The only disappointment was that I never got to see him straight away, And here I was looking at a dvd of my son being held by all my relatives and I was the last to hold him.
I would love to hear from all you over-40 groovers still trying for baby number 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6, from all over the world, as it’s so cool to know you’re yearning for the same thing as me. And by the way if I did fall pregnant and it was a boy, so be it, I will still be the happiest mum and love it to bits. Please respond all you Queenslanders and also overseas. I would love to talk about our countries to one another and maybe one day one of us will visit one or the other, But for now I’d love some Penfriend’s from everywhere. Catch ya guys and don’t ever give up.
Posted 18 July 2008
Karan, 43, Australia
I’m Karan, a mum-of-three grown teenagers, trying to conceive and maintain a pregnancy at 43. Our first attempt ended in missed miscarriage at 9 ½ weeks in February, 2008 and our second attempt seems to be failing at 6 weeks, despite the vitamins, minerals and flaxseed oil I’m taking. I’d love to talk thru these issues with other women in my situation.
Posted 8 July 2008
Patricia, 48, LA, California, US
Hello, I'm the mother of a 13 year old son, 11 year old girl and an 18 month old girl. I would love to conect with moms anywhere in the world especially Los Angeles ,Ca. I did not expect to have another child - my husband and I were done. Well, God has blessed us and given us another opportunity to raise a third child. I was so nervous in the beginning of my pregnancy because it was after 9 years. Well she is here and is so perfect and delicious. God is great It was in his plan not mine. my pregnancy went very well besides the morning sickness, which I experienced with my other two. I had her with normal delivery and she was out in 48 minutes! So girls, go for it!! We can do it!!
Posted 22 June 2008
Connie, 52, Texas, US
I would just like to connect with other moms via-e-mail and to have any what so ever 'positive' remarks, comments on havinga baby at 50.
Posted 20 June 2008
Michelle, 39, South Africa
Hi Ladies, This is such an awesome website. I have been reading through almost everyone’s emails and they have really inspired me to carry on with my plans to have another baby. I will be 40 in July 2008. I have a wonderful 12 year old son, a beautiful, almost 3 year old daughter (in August) and 2 step-sons age 17 and 11.
My husband will be 45 this year and feels that he is too old to father anymore kids. We only have our little daughter between the two of us and she is really a blessing from God. She is the rose amongst the thorns. I have now convinced him to try again.
I was hoping to go off the pill in September and then plan from there. I think I have been reading too much up on age and all the things that can go wrong. I am leaving my decision up to God and I know he will carry me through this exciting period of my life.
Isn’t this what life is all about?? Raising God’s children
Hope that I hear from you guys in South Africa and Abroad.
Posted 18 June 2008
Laura, 45, Germany
Hello, I appreciate a website for over 40 year olds. I have a daughter 2.5 years old via IVF. Recently visited my IVF specialist who informed us that my chances again are about 1% to conceive & hold on to the pregnancy. Basically, he informed us that there are no successful pregnancies via IVF reported in Germany. Are there any success stories out there of 45 year old plus having a successful pregnancy via IVF? If so, please let me know. Thanks very much!
Posted 8 June 2008
Brionne has just given birth to her third child, a healthy baby boy, Zachary, at home, weighing 3.6 kg, length 49 cm.
Orignal updated message:
Just reached the third trimester with another baby - he's due towards the end of June. I turned 42 at the end of last year. Everything's been going really well so far with the pregnancy and we're going for another home birth with the same midwife as last time. Meanwhile, Mayanne turned one year old less than a month ago - she's full of smiles and personality and has become a high speed crawler....she has taken a few first steps when we offer our arms for her to hold, and loves eating and going out.
Caelan (he's 5) and Mayanne have invented several games they like to play - Roll the Biscuit Tin (to each other), You Build the Towers and I'll Knock Them Down, I'll Drop This and You'll Bring It Back, and the Get Game - Mayanne says "Get" - gives a toy to Caelan, stretches out her hand and says "Get" again to have it given back over and over. She still hasn't much hair, and only one tooth!
The new baby is a boy we're going to call Zachary, and he looks like being another livewire....he was flipping somersaults during his only ultrasound so far.
I'm Brionne, 41, I have a 4 year old son and a new baby girl.
Baby Mayanne was born at home on 27 Feb 07, two weeks early. She weighs in at just over eight pounds (just 200g more than my son weighed four years ago) and is absolutely lovely and perfect, sleeping and drinking her milk, and even smiling from day one! I was very lucky to get the home birth I wanted. My midwife went to a wedding in America and we were only just able to raise the half arranged back-up midwife in time - she made it for the last hour or so. She was very calm and reassuring, and truly excellent. This time it didn't all just happen by itself with me as a sort of bystander as it had the first time. I think it must be something to do with the waters breaking at 1 am instead of 5 pm! Anyway I had to put in a bit of work this time, and it took 9 hours from the waters breaking instead of 6, Mayanne made things that bit more difficult by sticking her hand on her head and making the job that bit bigger! The placenta took over an hour to appear again, which gave Daddy plenty of holdy time with baby, which he rather enjoyed.
But there you go, you can get pregnant at 40 in the old-fashioned way and give birth at home without drugs or intervention.
Happily the new baby is more adept at breastfeeding than Caelan was. He tried to hand her all his toys and books on the first day and is only just beginning to calm down.
Hope this inspires others who are just thinking about trying for a baby at this age to have some confidence. If you're lucky, and I'm sure lots of us must be, you won't need to put yourself through the stress of fertility treatments etc - it can just happen, especially if you and your man have been looking after yourselves, or if he's a fair bit younger.
The very best of luck to everyone on this site, however you're hoping it'll happen.
I'd love to chat/meet other Mums, esp stay-at-home Mums.
Anyone who has another 4-year-old to come play with my little boy would be lovely - would have to be non-smoker for meet-ups.
We have a healthy lifestyle - maybe affected fertility as had first child within one month and second within 4 months - don't know if changing lifestyle late in the day works as this has been lifelong. Info for anyone who's interested.
I love nature, feeding wild birds in winter, growing food, foraging and being with my lovely little boy.
Have been attachment parenting without knowing that's what it's called (!) - breastfeeding and keeping baby in bed/sling etc.
Penpals from anywhere. Meetups easiest for Mums in Galway area, Ireland.
Updated 3 June 2008
Susan, 45, UK
I'm 45 and married to a wonderful man who has not had any children. We have not been trying to conceive for very long, only about 4 months, but I could really do with some support from other ladies in the same position. Neither of us have had any tests but I have been charting/temping now for about 8 months and know I have been ovulating regularly. I have got the all clear from my doc, health wise, and she confirmed I am ovulating based on my charts. I already have older children from a previous marriage but would so like to be able to make our family complete.
I would love to hear from someone who would like to exchange hopes, tears, support and excitement during our journeys.
Posted 3 June 2008
Cindy, 49, Illinois, US
I was originally born in England and came to the USA when I was 20 years old in 1979. I married and had my first child - a daughter, at the age of 23 years old in 1982. I was young, with no family around and knew nothing about breast feeding or birthing options. I had my daughter in a hospital with an IV Pitocin, fetal monitor and a episiotomy - the works.
Eight years later I had a son in a hospital it was an awful experience; the doctor broke my water in his office the morning before as he was in a rush to go to a 4th July party, the day on which my son was supposed to be born, so he wanted my son to "hurry up and get born" - his exact words. The birth was almost a C-Section. I actually delivered vaginally the operating room with the anaesthetist standing over me waiting to put me out. My eyes locked into a nurse's eyes; she knew all I wanted to do was push yet I was being told to relax not to push as the C-Section would soon be all over. I pushed like no tomorrow with my knees up by my ears and out emerged my beautiful first born son on July 3rd 1990. The feeling of being so out of control and the fact my husband had signed against all my wishes for the C-Section put a lot of pressure on our marriage. I never felt truly heard and never felt the birth was my way.
I conceived again three years later and this time read up on all my options and decided for a home birth. My husband was so against this and fought me all the way, not wanting to be educated in this matter and not wanting to listen to me. I delivered a healthy wonderful son, my second son, at home without any medications in 1993 with the doctor, my children ages 11 and 3 and a friend present. It was my best ever birth experience. Problem was my husband was not there for the birth and never forgave me for going against his wishes.
I conceived again two years later and this time my husband decided to leave us. So I decided to return to England and be with my blood relatives and deliver my baby in my homeland. It was a wonderful experience and amazing that we could have just the midwife there and to listen to all the controversy about home birth versus hospital births from another country’s point of view. Home birth works for me and I like to be in complete control of my situation. I delivered my third son in England healthy and my first British Citizen in 1995.
After living in England for two years, my yearning for America became very strong, so I returned to America, a single mother with four children. I remained single for six years building my life up after tending to the divorce and remains of my estate.
In 2000 I re-married a wonderful man. He had two older children from his previous marriage. We decided we would like a biological child together. As we were considered to be an "older” couple, many people frowned on this and told us of all the horror stories or the fact we would for sure have a child with many medical problems. We were fortunate enough to have very supportive doctors and we were told to make love every two days after the 5th days of my cycle for 16 days. We did this for two years - my husband always had a smile on his face!!! We did conceive naturally and I had my first water birth at home at the age of 44 years old and my husband 50 years old. We had a healthy baby boy, my fourth son, born 2003.
Now it is 2008. I am blessed with five children, now aged 26 years (my daughter) and four sons aged 18 years, 15 years, 13 years and 5 years. My husband’s two older children from his previous marriage are a daughter aged 29 years and a son aged 27 years. I am 49 years old and my husband is 55.
I am yearning to be pregnant again. I feel so excited to have found this website and went to the health store and bought CHASTE TREE VITEX ANGUS CASTUS for myself and SAW PALMETTO for my husband. We are back to making love every other day and I wait anxiously when I am due for my period and pray I do not see it. I have been checked out by the doctor and he says I am healthy, ovulating and my FSH levels are wonderful.
I feel a yearning to have a baby at my breast and to conceive again. This is what makes us all so unique as women. We have a special gift that we know when we are done deep in our heart. We should not as women look to a mother with one child and say, "Where are the rest, why are you not having more"? This mother has come to terms with her yearning and one child may make her complete. On the other hand, a mother who keeps trying after many miscarriages or after all the odds are against her should always remember and listen to her yearning deep inside and not lose hope or listen to outside negative people. If her yearning is to be fulfilled then it can be if she focuses, prays and works with this in mind. One way or another. Be it with adoption, IVF, naturally or other methods, if she is being called to still be a mother in the depths of her soul it can be possible.
I have many against the fact I am turning 50 in February and still yearn for another child. I keep my positive circle of friends who uplift me and encourage me and do not discuss anything with negative folk. After all it is our lives and we know that we are not going to be old and crabby and unable to do whatever everyone says you won’t be able to do because of your age with your children. Age is truly a state of mind.
So anyone out there longing for your yearning do not lose faith. Keep surrounding yourself with websites such as these. Sit down with a good cup of tea and your day will be here before you know it. Stay true to your inner calling. Thank you for letting me share my story.
Posted 21 May 2008
Holly, 43, Boston, MA, US
I'm 43 and live in Boston, MA, USA, and have been trying to conceive naturally for over 18 months now. Since I waited until my 42nd birthday to start trying to have a baby, I don't really feel as I deserve to waste medical resources on getting pregnant. But I would really love to correspond with other women who won't laugh at me for trying! I'm starting to suspect nothing is going to happen, but I'm just not quite ready to quit yet, either. If I can offer support to someone else and receive some in return, that would be great.
Posted 13 May 2008
Geniece, 39, South Carolina, US
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 6 years and nothing happens. I have any several tests and the doctor told me that everything is fine. I have tried clomid and herbs and they have not worked. I will be turning 40 in August and I would love to have my first child with my husband. My husband has not undergone any tests and he is not taking any kind of vitamins. I told him that he needs to cut back on his smoking and drinking. I don't drink or smoke and I don't drink a lot of caffeine. I had my physical recently and my OB/GYN told me that I am very healthy for my age and I told my husband that he have to be healthy too. Please give me some advice.
Posted 9 May 2008
Jenny, 42, Manchester, UK
I am 42 and live in Manchester UK with my 31-year-old husband 31 and our 12 year old tom cat, Max.
Is this too old to have a baby? The professionals seem to think so. I'm ovulating, have very regular periods and my hormone levels are good for my age. My husband's sperm count is low though due to chemotherapy. We do have stored sperm but the cost to go through IVF is something we are looking into at the moment. Any advice would be appreciated. I would love to hear from other couples in a similar situation.
Posted 6 May 2008
Giovanna, 45, Firenze, Italy
I had 5 pregnancy and five babies; my little Laura, the first one died of cot death at the age of 6 weeks ....I still miss her very much. After her, I had 3 boys and one girl, now aged 5. Last month I realised I was pregnant again and although a bit confused, I was very, very happy. My husband did not want another child, though he accepted to keep the pregnancy. Last week I felt awful, went to the hospital and after days of agony the verdict was miscarriage. I was and still am devastated. Now my husband does not want to try for another baby, but I cannot help dreaming of having an other little one. Please help me - is there any father who would feel like talking my husband out of his stubborn position? Giò
Posted 28 April 2008
Danielle, 44, Australia
I have just turned 44 and have a beautiful 8 year old son. When my son was 2 we almost lost him to a terrible disease and in the hospital my husband and I vowed to one another that we would never have another child. But as they say "time heals all wounds" - my son is now healthy and we have been trying to have another child for the past 3 years. I have fallen pregnant 3 times but all sadly resulted in miscarriages.
I would just love to have someone else to correspond with of similar age that is also trying to have a child or has recently fallen pregnant or someone that has had a child around 44 - I am desperately
searching for some glimmer of hope........
Also if anyone my age has tried IVF would love to hear from you - I have been to an IVF doctor but he said I only have a 2% success rate (better than no chance though) and he said since I am falling pregnant naturally than let nature take its course.
I look forward to hearing from you soon and thank you Jan for this wonderful website!!
Posted 25 April 2008
Ria, 45, UK
I am 45, recently married for first time to a much younger loving man. We are now trying to conceive. Had blood tests and semen test ok and waiting to be called by a Hospital Specialised in Fertility in Oxford.
I would like to get in touch with moms/moms to be of my age with succesful stories to tell, like Clare's in Utah, USA, epecially with UK residents as they could give me tips and tell me about their experiencies in different specialised clinics/hospital here.
I would also like to exchange views with moms with good stories to tell having had IVF treatment abroad, as we are considering if the case requires, having this done in one of the eastern countries like Poland, or maybe Turkey (due to the high cost in UK).
Posted 15 April 2008
Karen, 49, Southern California, US
I have a had a long road to unsuccessful attempts at getting (and staying) pregnant. I have had every test known to woman. The work-up I received by the in-vitro clinic, told me everything looked normal and that I should have no problems conceiving and holding a pregnancy. My tubes are clear, uterine cavity was clear of fibroids (small) and my lining was responding well to the fertility medicine. My story: I got pregnant late in life (1998), at the age of 40, during my first marriage. It ended 6-8 weeks later in a blighted ovum, for which I received a D&C. After this procedure, however, I did not have a period for approximately 7 months! I started acupuncture to assist with this dilemma, which fortunately restarted my period. I never got pregnant again, even though I never took birth control pills or other forms of contraception. This marriage ended in divorce in 2002.
Now, I am remarried to a wonderful man, who is 43. Although he had a child out of wedlock, at the age of 19, he was not a part of her life. We want nothing more than to have a child. I have tried in-vitro 3 times. My first attempt, during my first marriage, resulted in the harvesting of one egg, which was no good. My last 2 in vitro attempts in 2006 resulted in no pregnancies with a 23 year-old friend's eggs! Well, I actually did get pregnant (a little bit). The HCG test did not produce high enough numbers, but the clinic told me to hang in there until Monday (3 days later), to see if the numbers would increase. Unfortunately, they did not, so I stopped taking all fertility drugs and, due to not wanting to risk another failed attempt, with seemingly perfect eggs, we decided to stop all treatment. Needless to say, I was fit to be tied! I struggled with questions like: "Does God like me? Is God mad at me? Did I confess all of my previous sins? Did I hurt somebody in my life that I am now paying the consequences for?" I think you get my drift of how frustrating unexplainable infertility can be.
In September 2007, I decided to try conceiving naturally, again, w/ the assistance of TCM (Chinese Traditional Medicine). TCM practitioners also feel as long as a woman is still menstruating, she can get pg. I take my temperature daily, check my cervical mucus and am attempting to chart my way to a natural pregnancy. My monthly cycles definitely improved, but still no pregnancy. I don't smoke, I frequently drink a glass or two of wine, weekly, I eat healthy, take supplements and exercise. I have had some close calls - delayed periods and pregnancy-like symptoms, but testing has not resulted in a pregnancy. . . .yet. I stopped taking the TCM in February because I experienced symptoms similar to a stroke. Tests have shown I did not have a stoke. However, my TCM practitioner suggests I get a clean bill of health before I resume the meds.
After reading the wonderful stories of late-life pregnancies on this web site, I am so very hopeful and grateful to God for steering me to this way. I have a renewed sense of hope that it is not over for me yet. I envision myself pregnant with a little one running thru my home. I pray/meditate 5 times per day, a special combination of prayers that will increase my positive energy and bring the miracle of conception/birth to my body. I try not to focus on negative thoughts too long, because I believe God wants me to be a mother, as he has not yet closed this door.
I would like to correspond with a penpal or two, as we take this journey together. If I can pray for, or be an encouragement to, someone who is struggling to conceive like I am, maybe our dreams will finally come true together. Remember Matthew 21:28: "Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you shall receive."
Posted 14 April 2008
Carrie, 49, Central Coast area, California, US
Dearest 'sisters,' I don’t even know where to start without boring you all to tears with a long story. I’ll do my best to make it brief and not sound like I’m out of my ever-lovin gourd! Please bear with me.
I am 49 (YIKES!), I have two beautiful teenagers that are the lights of my life. I remarried my soulmate one year ago and our love for each other has driven us to decide to try conceive. I have not told ANYONE about this as we would be poo-poo’d right out of town.
Here’s my situation: I had my tubes tied after I divorced my kids’ dad over 10 years ago and then seemingly zoomed thru early menopause immediately thereafter, at 38-39. I had mild menopause symptoms, but my periods abruptly stopped at 40. I chalked it up to menopause. I’m now realizing that this whole thing could have very well been POF (Premature Ovarian Failure) brought on by PTLS (Post Tubal Ligation Symdrome). You may have to look that up, I don’t want to explain it here. After doing a ton of research on the internet, I’m fairly certain this is what happened to me.
One month ago, I was surprised to have ovulation pains one day out of the blue! (I always had those when I had regular cycles and I knew exactly when I was ovulating). Well, I sort of laughed it off as it was “impossible”. But wait!! A few days later, the tell-tale cervical mucous appeared, which I hadn’t seen in over 8 years!! What the heck was happening!?? My hubby and I make love on a pretty regular basis and did so a couple times during this CM time. A couple weeks later, I had EVERY symptom of pregnancy!! I know, this sounds absolutely ludicrous, but believe me, I am extremely intuitive and very in-tune with my body. I know what I was feeling was early pregnancy stuff. Unfortunately a few days later, I started bleeding. It was moderate, but after not having a period for over 8 years, I was sure I was having an early miscarriage or I was having a real period after all this time (doubtful). Since then, all the prego symptoms have gone. In my younger years, I never had any major symptoms along with my periods, in fact they were usually very mild periods, no cramps or sore boobs, or PMS.
So, as you can imagine, I thought I was going out of my mind with this, but I believe God planted a seed to let me know there was a possibility I could be fertile after all this time.
I went to the doc, had an ultrasound, everything looked normal and was told I had a couple follicles on the ovaries but the tech couldn’t see my tubes to tell me if they had miraculously grown back or not. Had a blood test and it showed me as “perimenopausal” after I had been dubbed POSTmenopausal a few years ago.
Even if I wasn’t experiencing a pregnancy, how is that menopause can all-of-a-sudden reverse itself and make me have a period? Anyway, the doc wants to do an endometrial biopsy to make sure it’s not uterine cancer. I know uterine cancer doesn’t display pregnancy symptoms, but figure I should go anyway to rule it out.
Posted 11 April 2008
Faith, 46, Madison, Wisconsin, US
I have been encouraged by your website and wanted to encourage other mothers trying to have, or having new babies after 45. I am 46 and single by choice, having my first (and only) child in two months. I conceived by IUI at the first try, using the services of a sperm bank. All the tests
indicate that my son is developing typically and seems to be very healthy and active. All the fears my doctors expressed regarding my own health also have not been realized, so I expect to carry to term.
I would like to meet other new mothers over 45, especially single mothers by choice.
Posted 10 April 2008
Niece, 44, Tuscon, Arizona, US
Hi, I'm just turned 44 in March. I have 6 kids from a previous marriage and have been with my current man for 4 years. My/our kids are 18, 16, 13, 12, 10 and 6. He hasn't been married and hasn't had any children. We have talked about getting married and having kids. I don't know if it'll still work for me. It should, I got pregnant really easy with the others, just had to think about it. I would love to talk to others in the same situation or similar. I love my Michael to death and would love nothing more than to give him a child. We live in the desert, love the outdoors, travel, hiking, animals, back packing and camping. Currently learning to set up websites and earn money online so that I can be a stay at home mom.
Posted 5 April 2008
Marjorie, 42, Newton Abbot, Devon, UK
I live in Newton Abbot, Devon and have been trying for a baby since June 2007. I am 42 years old unfortunately getting older on 11 December 2008. My husband is 35 years old. I got married late at the age of 41. I am not holding my breath in conceiving due to my age and time is against me. I have always been maternal but had to make do with admiring "other peoples" babies rather than my own, I feel something is missing in my life. I cannot believe I am 42 and do not feel anything like it; I still like doing childish things and feel I could relate to a child. I am taking a chance to see what fate decides for me and have decided against Clomid and IVF. I have had blood tests which have come out as normal. This would be my first child and quite daunting. It would be nice to hear from people in a similar situation to myself.
Posted 25 March 2008
Ellen, 49, London, UK
Hi, I’m 49 years old and married again 2 years ago. I've been trying to get pregnant but it’s been difficult because my husband travels a lot and I was not sure if I was ovulating. However, I decided to go down the natural route and went to a herbalist weekly with acupuncture. After 6 weeks or so I didn’t get my period, so my herbalist asked me to have my FSH and LH tested. She expected them to be very high and basically to accept that I’m probably not ovulating. I know that these tests are supposed to be done on the third day of your cycle, but I could have been waiting a long time. To my surprise and the herbalist’s, my FSH WAS 5.6 and LH 6. My herbalist was encouraged by this and asked me to have an ultrasound and the radiologist detected a follicle cyst of 23 mm, so to cut a long story short my ovaries are a normal size, I’ve got good endometrium thickness for pregnancy, my follicles grow to a big size, but my problem is that my follicles don’t rupture. I have luteinizing unruptured follicles (luf), so now I don’t know what to do. I’m so close and yet so far, I can have this treated, but I’m not sure I want to go down that route. I have no support from family, friends or the medical profession and am discouraged. I’m a believer in God and a devout Muslim, so I pray a lot and believe in the power of prayer.
I ask myself at this stage why I would like a baby as I’m now wondering whether to accept God’s will if there is not going to be one. I already have two daughters from a previous marriage so I am a mother. This may sound strange to some of you, but in 1989 I had an intuition or vision that a child was waiting to be born. I forgot about this feeling for 16 years and it came up again recently; at the time it was not what I wanted, so it wasn’t wishful thinking, but it’s as if there is a child waiting to be born and I’m not complete until it happens. In fact I’m not even feeling a strong maternal drive like I had when I was younger, but that my destiny is not complete yet without this child and this child will teach me a lot.
I don’t know if any other woman on this site has had such visions or dreams of their future children. I’d like to correspond with other women who want a child. I'm welsh and live in London; I think it’s a beautiful city. God Bless to you all.
Posted 16 March 2008
Sharon, 44, Queensland, Australia
I have a 9 month old daughter born May 07. She was the final attempt to conceive after many years of infertility treatment. I am finding it difficult to connect with other mums in my area who are in my age group (44). The younger mums are lovely but don't seem realy understand what its like to be a 'mature' first time mum who has had to change many old habits. I live in Toowoomba Queensland. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to meet others around my age?
Posted 3 March 2008
Debbie, 48, Florida, US
I live with my husband of 19 years in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida. We have been TTC for over four years when I was 43. I went through some tests; the last time I was tested was in 2005 when my levels were 10.2. My cycles are not regular, however, I have not given up on TTC since I was told I was not pre-menopausal. I have tried clomid but failed and decided to go naturally.
I want to hear from women that are Christians, trusting in the Lord for the promise He’s given you, and also from women that wants to TTC naturally and from women who has accomplished it through their faith. The older you are, the more inspired I am. It really doesn’t matter what part of the world you are from.
Posted 1 March 2008
Yvonne, 41, US
Hello-I have just turned 41 and my husband and I want to become pregnant. My doctor has told me I am experiencing early menopause. I had been anaemic for a couple years, but after iron treatments my iron level is good now. Although I have had the IUD for 5 years, my last period was approximately a year ago. I am devastated to think I will not be able to have a baby. If anyone has been in this situation could you please tell me what you did to become pregnant.
Posted 26 February 2008
Bernice, 45, Montana, US
So wonderful to find your website!! I am 45 years old and have 4 children - a 16 year old, 14 year old, 11 year old and a 17 month old. I found out I was pregnant at 43. It was a complete surprise
but what a blessing. Now we are thinking of trying to get pregnant again so our young son will have a sibling to grow up with plus I love raising my children. Your site with its testimonials was
Posted 26 February 2008
Renée, 45, Florida, US
Hi, I'm Renée, 45, carrying my third. My other children are 15 and 12. It's wonderful to find such a site when the majority of sites are very negative and don't offer much good news, or hope, for mothers-to-be in their 40's.
I would love to hear from moms about their experiences with their prenatal testing. In addition, the overall differences between this later pregnancy and their earlier ones.
Posted 19 February 2007
Diane, 41, Essex, UK
Hi, My name is Diane,I'm 41 & I live in Essex,South East England and to my great joy I am now (as of today!) 12 weeks pregnant. This is my 3rd pregnancy in a year I had 2 m/cs - 1 at 11.5 weeks and the next at 8 weeks. I've had a couple of scans, one to reassure me and one because I had a bleed. All is well.
I left a very abusive & violent relationship in oct 05 to be with my partner who is the polar opposit of my ex - kind, loyal, and my perfect match.
I have a very soon-to-be 7 yr old son, my partner has a daughter 2 months younger. I feel extremely fortunate to have concieved three times at my age and even more so as this one seems to be sticking around.
I would love to chat / meet other mums / mums to be of the same age & thinking.
Posted 15 February 2008
Hi I am 45 years old, with a 5 year old wonderful little boy. I am just not at peace with not having another child no matter how much I try to convince myself it will be OK. I have gone back and forth for the last several years trig to decide what to do. My pregnancy at 39 was a bit difficult. I was on bedrest for the last four months, but had a very healthy baby only one week early. The pre term labor was due to either the Amnio I had a few days earlier, the sudden death of my Mother a few weeks prior, fibroid tumors or all of the above. I also had a miscarriage at aprox 7 weeks 21/2 years ago.
I know if I was guaranteed a healthy baby, my husband and I would jump at the opportunity to conceive again. I don't however, want to jeopardize our situation or my son's life by risking having a child with complications. Furthermore, whenever I mention my desire to have another child to most anyone I get a lot of negative responses ie..perhaps I am too "old" to do this again etc. If there is anyone out there that can relate to my situation or give their input I would greatly appreciate it.
Best wishes to you all.
Posted 6 February 2008
June, 49, UK
Hi, My name is June I live in the Northwest of England. I live with my partner aged 47 and I am 50 this year.
We have a perfect son aged 22-months-old. He was concieved naturally (after 5 m/c over 2 years) when I was 47 and I had him 5 weeks early weighing 6lb 14 oz. If I can help you ttc eg advice, experiences etc., please feel free to get in touch!
Posted 4 February 2008
Melody, 43, Pennsylvania, US
I love your site, it is so much more positive than the other sites that I have visited. I just wanted to know if there are any mothers out there who have had a tubal reversal over the age of 40 and had a healthy pregnancy. I am in the process of meeting with my doctor to discuss a reversal for me but I just wanted to know or communicate with someone who has gone through this process.
Posted 13 January 2008
Jackie, 45, Birmingham, UK
Hi. My name is Jackie, I live near Birmingham, UK, and I'm 45 years old. I'm very proud and happy Mum to a beautiful perfectly fine and healthy 4 month old boy. I honestly thought I would never have a baby after trying for years and nothing happening and then a couple of miscarriages. But then just at the point that I felt enough was enough I was pregnant and it all seemed to be ok on the scan. I was very worried at times during my pregnancy but I did the blood test for Downs and my risk came back as 1/170 which was good for my age. One thing that helped was realising that this translates as a 90 something per cent change of the baby being fine. I felt it was a risk we could go with and I stopped worrying so much. Everything went smoothly and having been told that I should prepare for a caesarean section because of my age and blood pressure, I was induced at 11 days overdue and had a difficult but normal labour with not much pain relief and no stitches. I'd say don't give up....but sort of
do give up. I think I was so bruised and battered by the endless waiting and grieving that I did give up
and got on with my life... and then it happened. Maybe take a very demanding job that would be difficult to manage with a baby or get a very all consuming dog or something. Just take heart! This time last year I would never have believed I'd be a mother soon.
Denice, 49, Detroit, MI, US
I am a 49 year old with 2 grown children from a previous marriage – ages 28 and 26. Their father left me after 20 years of marriage. I met the most wonderful man 6 years younger than I who had never had any children. We discussed the possibilities of having children, and after 6 years together, we investigated our options at a Detroit IVF clinic. After extensive testing, it was determined that I would be able to carry a child, but that donor eggs would be necessary to insure success. We made the difficult decision to proceed. Emotionally and physically it was very trying. Medication and injections required to stabilize hormonal levels. After what seemed like an eternity (probably more like 8 months of treatment) we were ready for egg implantation.
Now it was my husband's turn to be a successful donor for sperm. Not a very glamorous procedure, but it was done. We learned that our egg donor had provided us with 8 eggs. They were fertilized with my husband's sperm and incubated. Within 24 hours we found that only 4 of the eggs survived the fertilization process. Our fears mounted. Only 2 ½ days before we would learn what would be available for our future. Due to potential complications, the clinic requests that you sign a waiver that in the event several fertilized eggs are implanted and they develop, that you will agree to reduction so that no more than 2 or 3 are allowed to grow. Another quite upsetting event, as it is difficult to make this agreement knowing full well that you are trying desperately to become pregnant. 3 days later, my husband and I arrived at the clinic for the insertion of eggs. We found that only 2 survived to this point. Both were inserted into my uterus with supportive comments that these 2 eggs had developed very nicely and appeared very normal. Now the real traumatic feelings began. I laid almost totally still for the first 24 hours trying as hard as possible to give these eggs little motion for them to settle into the uterine lining.
Two weeks later, we went back to the clinic to find that we had success! One of the eggs in fact had implanted and what the doctors considered a heartbeat was visible via ultrasound. The second egg was not so lucky. It could be seen in the uterus but did not survive the transplant. Ultimately though, I was pregnant and had just turned 48. Every week brought further hope that this single egg would continue to survive and grow. Weeks became months and further ultrasounds showed that the egg had developed into a very healthy normal viable fetus. The pregnancy was fairly uneventful. At around 5 months, I was found to have gestational diabetes. With close monitoring of my diet, and regular blood testing, I was able to keep the diabetes in check. Almost 4 weeks early, my water broke and was hospitalized. Labor was induced and 5 hours later, the most wonderful baby boy was born. Small (only 5 lbs 4 oz) but healthy, he was perfect. With 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes, and no medical issues! My husband finally had his first child.
The road was a long one to get to this child, with many comments by others along the way – many of them not supportive. Now I hold in my arms every day a true miracle. The comments continue by those that don’t understand our desire and need for this child. I have stopped explaining for myself, and just noting to all about how beautiful this child is and how lucky I am. We have truly been blessed. Would I change anything? Only that I would have tried this earlier in our relationship so that I could have had a second.
Posted 6 January 2008
Julia, 43, Mays Landing, NJ, US
I am 43 and trying to conceive. I have a 7 year old son and have been trying to conceive for about 2 years now. I would like to connect with others in my situation. It is very stressful. I am considering using an egg donor and was hoping to speak to someone about that. I would appreciate your help in connecting with others.
Posted 2 January 2008
Sharon, 44, Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia
After many years of trying for our own child we now have a lovely daughter aged 7 months. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivered via c/section 18 days early. I am currently a work at home mum. I used to enjoy watercolour painting but have not had the luxury lately of free time available to paint. Would enjoy catching up with other mums.
Posted 5 December 2007
Jane, 43, Perth, Australia
I am a mother of two, aged 20 and 14 to a previous relationship. My partner and I have been trying to concieve for 12mths. I am beginning to think at 43 I must be getting too old. Not having had any problems before, I was shocked to find that it did not happen in the first few months. I know I am ovulating and would like the support of anyone my age in the same position or who can give me encouragement. My partner and I would dearly love a child of our own.
Posted 23 November 2007
Cass, 45, UK
I've glanced through your message page, I so wish I could have found it years ago.The only down side is there is so few forty plus mums on their first baby. I would love to share this ordeal with someone. The feed back from the contacts we`ve had is on the negative side, so some positive thoughts would be so good. At 45 the NHS does not consider my health important. It would be nice to converse with anyone who is going through or has been through these awful feelings. Any advice on the way forward would be good to. I have had scan, which was not as awful as I had expected. I am now on the only treatment on offer.Not yet working, but how long before one must give-up? Am getting distressed.Our medicine is not so brilliant, (abroad they can help over 50s carry a child).Feel so empty!! I hope for a reply.
Posted 14 November 2007
Mary-Louise, 39, Denver, Colorado, US
Hello, I am experiencing secondary unexplained infertility. I am almost 39, had 1 child at 37 naturally conceived - you know - doing all the wrong things. Now I have done IUI and clomid drug, did not work. I am doing Acupuncture and TCM with herbs now.I am so desperate and do not know which way to turn. I am from the UK but live in the US now. I am looking to join a penpal club, gain advice. I really was impressed by your website.
Posted 14 November 2007
Chantel, 41, South Africa
I have two beautiful children, Lawrence aged 16 and Gabriella aged 4. We are desperately trying to conceive a third child but have had such negative comments from Doctors and friends. I had an eptopic pregnancy in April and with the result I have just recently had to have one of my tubes tied as it was so damaged. This has left me very down and helpless in my journey to have another baby and at times I keep wondering if I am wasting my time and if my dream is just a pipe dream?? Your web page is such an inspiration to Moms over 40 and it is so encouraging to see that it is possible to have a healthy baby in your 40's. I look forward to hearing from any moms in the same situation as me. It would be so nice to know that there are moms out there just like me who have overcome these hurdles and gone ahead and had healthy babies against all the medical statistics everyone likes to quote on a regular basis!
Posted 12 November 2007
I decided today to scour the web for sites with Women who have had or are planning to have babies after the age of 40. Unfortunately I married late and have never being pregnant before but we are having the darnest time getting pregnant, even though there is nothing wrong with us... Having no one to really discuss this situation with, since all the women around my age I know are either still single or have grown up children, so I decided to check the web.
I would love to have a couple of penpals. We do plan to have children - if ultimately we don't via IVF, then we will adopt... I am 40 (in May) and my husband is 41.
Posted 9 November 2007
Rhonda, 45 and Scott, Michigan, US
My wife and I found out yesterday on our 20th anniversary that she is 6 weeks' pregnant. We have a 16 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. We had not used protection in 14 years and now she's pregnant. We are so very concerned about the idea of middle age child rearing, but mostly concerned about her health and the potential of having a baby with problems due to my wife's age. She is afraid that her eggs are old and the baby will have genetic problems. I admit I am scared also. We are going to have genetic counseling on Monday to go over the possibilities. We are considering an abortion, although even writing the word makes me cringe. We are both reform Jews and do not have a
religious issue regarding abortion. I just never thought we would be in this position. If she got pregnant even 5-10 years ago, we would have never even thought twice about having baby. However, now we are. Any help and advice with the issues we are having would be greatly appreciated.
Posted 5 November 2007
Dawn, 42, Ohio, US
Hello, my name is Dawn and I'm a 42 year old mother of 3 (I claim my 22 yr old stepdaughter as my own). My son is now 15 and was called the miracle baby because of my cervical tilt. Long story short, my youngest was a surprise at age 38, after 10 years of trying. She was absolutely perfect and is such a joy. Unhappily, when she was 15 months old, my husband died suddenly at age 42. I have been with a wonderful man for nearly 2 years, who just happens to be 14 years younger. He was perfectly content to call my children his own; however, for months I've had this burning need to have another baby. I have so many things working against me, but just have to try. I had my Merina IUD removed in Sept. and have been taking prenatal vitamins for 3 months, exercising and trying to get my weight down a bit. He has been taking vitamins for 3 months also. We are ready to try and, I think, my biggest dread is that I won't conceive. We have committed to trying for a year. I couldn't figure out how to contact the people through this forum, so I hope you can shine a little light for me. It would be a great help to communicate with those in similar situations.
Posted 5 November 2007
Diane, 42, Chicago, Illinois, US (Updated 29 October 2007)
On October 9th, 2007 my husband & I celebrated the birth of our beautiful baby daughter Alyssa. She weighed in at 8 lbs 6 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. She is an absolute angel, perfect in every way. The fears I had expressed in my original posting went away when I heard her first cry.
This website is a true inspiration and I want to let other moms know things will be ok, and don't let your fears discourage you from your dreams of having a child in your 40's.
I am a 42 yr. old mom to be newly married to a wonderful man 13 yrs. younger then myself. This is my second marriage and I have two grown up children aged 21 & 18. My husband and I had talked about having a child and I have to admit the thought seemed quite crazy to me at the time. After all, last time I was pregnant was 18 yrs. ago!! Now it was "my time"! Or was it??
I have just discovered I am pregnant!! Yes, at 42 and the first attempt I realized I am still fertile!! I am also extremely scared due to all the horror stories I have heard.
I would love to connect with other mom's in a similar situation that are going thru pregancy and have fears as I do.
Posted 4 February 2007
Karen, 45, Doha, Qatar
I wanted to connect to others mothers ttc like myself. I turned 45 on September 21 and have been trying to conceive after a miscarriage 6months ago where I conceived naturally with twins. Now I am headed down the IVF route and need to connect with other ladies over 40 who understand my quest. I also could add some inspiration to others since I had my son Brenton at 40.
Posted 19 October 2007
Allison, 42, New Jersey, US
I just wanted to start getting connected as I recently went through a divorce and feel as though I have been robbed of my child bearing years. When we met he wanted children….then he didn't….the day he walked out he said he actually did want children just not with me…..enough of the sob story. Anyway after a year of soul searching and emotional regrouping I have decided I would like to get pregnant and have a child on my own.
I would prefer to get pregnant randomly by a male I am 'dating' but know that time is running out and that may not be the best way to go about this. I haven't any idea of the different options to a single woman. My concern is spending too much money that I would need to raise my child.
I would love to hear from moms who have gotten pregnant after 40 naturally without a permanent partner. I would also love to hear from moms who have gotten pregnant after 40 via other means and what their experiences were and what options I have available other than the 'good old fashioned' way.
Posted 10 October 2007
Deborah, 46, S Australia
Hi, my name is Deborah and I am 46 years old. I just had my second child on August 1st. 2007, a little boy named Owen. I also have an older son, Jordan who is 12. I am from Canada and am currently residing in South Australia.
I would love to get in touch with other older parents and share experiences.
Posted 6 October 2007
Julie, 40, Florida, US
I am almost 40 years old. I am a single mom of a 9-year old girl. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years; we do not live together… loooooonnnnggg story! At the beginning of the relationship he wanted to have a baby, but I didn't want to. I was scared of going through the same or very similar situation as the one I went through with my daughter's father (he is MIA). Now, after so many years… I want to have a baby. He has two sons; 21 & 34. He is 56 years old. I mentioned to him the desire of having a baby and he said no; too late. Then another day I mentioned it again, and he said no again, but smiled. It is like part of him wants to, and the other one does not. He says that he is too old to raise children. Help!!! I really, really want to have another baby.
Posted 4 October 2007
Sheli, 39, Washington State, US
For 39 years, I was perfectly content being a "Dog Mom." Then my baby boy arrived and I had no idea I could love another human being so much. He's now nearly 8 months old and I want to try for a 2nd child when he's a year old (I'll be nearly 41 at that time). I have times when I get a little "depressed," reading the facts and figures of fertility and genetic problems, due to my age, but realize I have to have faith that if it's God's plan for me to have another child, it'll happen, right? My OB/GYN was very supportive, when I visited with her about trying for a 2nd child, so I felt good about that. Hubby is okay with one, okay with another. Sometimes I feel like I'm almost "obsessed" with having a 2nd baby... anyone else walking in similar shoes? Would love to hear from you. I get a little tired of everyone acting as though 40 is "old" and that we don't have the energy level needed for a baby and toddler. I feel like I'm in better shape now than I've ever been (aside from teenage years!) and have the patience and "life experience" to appreciate every moment of babyhood like I never would've years ago! Thank you!
Posted 4 October 2007
Theresa, 42, Wisconsin, US
I am 42 years old and 13 weeks pregnant. I have an 18 year old daughter, 11 year old son, and a 2 year old. We also lost a baby at 17 weeks last April. We did chromosomal testing and found he was a perfectly normal boy, but we new from about 6 weeks that he was not growing at the right rate. We never found out why he died. Three months after he died I became pregnant again. (actually it was the first month we tried) I have been anxious every moment, but everything is going fine. I had morning sickness 24/7 with my previous 4 pregnancies and have none this time, which made me apprehensive until the ultra sound last week showed everything is going perfectly. I opted not to have an amnio or CVS with my son I had at 40, and I am opting not to this time also. I can't tell you how comforting your site has been to me. I have been quite surprised at some of the negativity I get for having children so late in life. Everyone of my children are a joy and a blessing, and I wouldn't trade any of this for the world.
Posted 28 September 2007
Annette, 42, North Dakota, US
Hi!! I am 42 years old and recently got married. My husband has 3 children from his previous marriage. His kids are 19, 17, and 16. I have never had kids - a loooooooooooong story. I have always wanted to have kids and my husband knows that. We are seriously talking about trying to have a baby. A BIG part of me wants to try, but the other little parts wonder if it would be a good idea, esp. at our ages.(My husband is 46). He's all for it as he's the one that brought it up. I would like to hear from other moms over 40 that kinda have been in my shoes and what they have to say.
Posted 13 September 2007
Sandy, 43, PA, US
I am 43 yrs old (44 in a couple months) and I have FINALLY given up on waiting for “Mr. Right” to conceive a child with. I have chosen an anonymous sperm donor! I have my first visit to the RE in a couple days and I was filled with gloom and doom after foolishly turning to the internet for “research” regarding IUI. But after visiting your site I am very anxious to get things going. My question is, are there any sperm recipients out there at the age of 43… okay I should say 44….. who were successful at conceiving with the IUI using their own egg? And how many times did you have to have the IUI done?
Posted 7 September 2007
Janine, 41, Canada
This is a wonderful site, thank you. I had my 1st baby at 37 and then had a subsequent divorce two years later. My current partner plans to move to Canada from UK by winter and we plan to be married next year and at 41, soon to be 42, we are a bit concerned at being able to conceive a healthy child. My last pregnancy went very well, although it was determined I had a fibrous tumor on my left ovary the size of an egg. This has been checked via ultrasounds and MRIs and no concerns thus far. Would enjoy talking with other women who have had healthy childen at my age and with similar health concerns.
Posted 2 September 2007
Kelly, 42, Perth, Western Australia
I am a 42 year old stay at home mum of a 15month old daughter. I have two other children from a previous relationship a girl 18 and a 16 year old boy. I didn't tell my older children that me and my partner were trying to fall pregnant as I didn't think they would like the idea at all (me being so old!). I fell pregnant within two months of going off the pill and didn't tell them until I was 12 weeks. Neither of them believed me when I told them the news, they thought I was joking! They now have a little sister they both absolutely adore and are always wanting to dress in the latest skate/surf gear!!
I said I wouldn't have any more children because of my age, but now she is a bit older I am thinking it would be lovely for her to have a little brother or sister closer to the same age. Either way, I would love to have some other mums with toddlers/babies around my age to chat to.
Posted 31 August 2007
Linda, 40, Blackpool, UK
I turned 40 this year and with my partner of the same age have decided to try for a baby. I have 2 children from a previous relationship and so does he. I couldn't believe the negativity from my own GP when I approached him on the subject, he put his pen down and sat back and asked me why I would want to do such a thing due to the very high risks of downs syndrome. I really wasn't prepared for such a negative from him, I had expected more support and information about what help would be available or even how to minimise the risks which would have been of greater help. Having spoken to 2 doctors and a nurse it still seems impossible to get a balanced view of the risks and chances of conceiving. Surely the NHS offers potential midlife mothers more help than sending them home full of anxiety to fend for themselves on the internet.
I am now waiting an appointment at the hospital to speak to the gynaecologist about whether a small fibroid I have would need to be removed first and I am bracing myself to receive more negativity. Has anyone else encountered similar situations?
Posted 30 August 2007
Claire, 43, Suffolk, UK (updated)
My beautiful daughter Rachael Claire was born at 9.41am on 9th August 07 weighing 6lb 5oz and is perfect in every way. Her 25 & 22 year old brothers adore her. I am so glad I had the courage to do this, I am finally happy again after my abortion mistake in 2005 and it is all down to my precious daughter. I have now been sterilised as I don't want to push my luck, we just want to enjoy every day with our daughter. Thanks for this board it helped a lot in my journey.
Hi, I am 43 and have just found out I am pregnant. I would love to hear from anyone who has had a chronic villi sampling test as I really don't know whether to risk a miscarriage to have it done. I certainly cannot wait until an amneo at 18 - 20 weeks as I feel it is far too late. We will have a nuchal scan and God willing this will bring the probability down so we can relax, but if it is high we do feel a CVS would be sensible. We feel this baby is a miracle and meant to be so are very positive, we had been trying for 9 months with no success then tests proved my husband had slight problems, which wasn't helping things at our age so had a natural cycle IUI and we fell pregnant at first attempt! I am hopeful that it appears it was more of my husband's problem than mine, so maybe my eggs are younger and healthy than I am! We hope so! Would also love to hear from anyone who has just found out that they are pregnant at this advanced maternal age. This site is great as it is so reassuring to realise that you can succeed at having a healthy baby in your 40's.
Updated 17 August 2007
(OriginallyPosted 18 December 2006)
Anette, 42, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I will be 43 next month - and expecting my first child! This is the first time I have ever been pregnant. Conceived naturally, it was a surprise - I thought I was peri-menopausal and not fertile anymore. I am 13 weeks' pregnant and I would love to be in contact with other first- time mothers my age!
Posted 14 August 2007
Lori, 47, US
Hi, I am a 47 year old mother of one boy who is 8-years-old who is mildly autistic. It has been a very emotional and hard road, but every time he smiles and tells me I love you mommy, it’s worth it all. I have been divorced for three years and met a man who my child adores, so I know he is a good manic would love another child. I just had an iud removed and am going to start trying. I am also wary of telling people. They look at you like have you lost your mind, so mum is the word for me, until my belly, God willing, gets big. With my age and nerves, I don’t need the pressure. My mom, my son, my fiancé and God knows that’s good enough for me. Good luck ladies, we can do it.
Posted 3 August 2007
Nerida, Queensland, Australia
Hi, my name is Nerida. My partner Quentin and I have recently moved from Sydney to live on the Sunshine coast in Queensland Australia. I have 3 Children, Sam 21, Daniel 19 and Jordan 9.
Quentin and I fell pregnant a year and a half ago but unfortunately miscarried at 13 weeks. I was devastated; I just didn’t expect that I could miscarry. My first 3 pregnancies were problem free and I fell easily.
18 months had passed and no sign of being pregnant. Quentin and I had pretty much accepted that we would not be able to conceive. We have had a hard year with my older two kids, and stress was pretty high. Then, out of the blue, Quentin was offered work in Queensland and we jumped at the chance. It was hectic and rushed. The older boys decided to stay in Sydney with their father.
We have been in Queensland now for 9 weeks and low and behold I am 5 weeks’ pregnant. I am very nervous at the thought of losing this one and the tests scare me a bit, but I am just so excited as well. We haven’t spread the word yet as I want to see how things go for a while, but my belly is already growing. I doubt the secret will stay with us for much longer.
I would love to chat with older mums. There is so much written against pregnancies in older women, it is nice to have found a site that is more positive.
Posted 17 July 2007
Sharon, 39, Ontario, Canada
Hello, I am 39-years-old and live in Canada, On. I have 2 kids; my younger one is 10-years-old. I would like to get pregnant again and have MANY fears and concerns regarding it.
Both of my kids were born by Cesarean and this is my main concern since I know that there are many health risks with that, especially due to my age.
I was wondering if there are mothers in my situation here in Canada that would like to share with me their thoughts regarding having 3rd Cesarean and baby at the age of 40. Thank you.
Posted 9 July 2007
Susan, 42, Holiday, Florida, US
I am currently a stay-at-home mom to my husband's and my baby girl aged 14 months. We tried to conceive for about 5 years, and when we didn't, we decided it wasn't meant to be. Then in late Aug. 2006 we found out I was pregnant. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in May of last year. We were worried because we are older parents, but after seeing your website, I don't feel so alone.
I would love to chat with other moms. I would also like to meet other moms in the Tampa area.
Posted 6 July 2007
Tracy, 40, Oxford, UK
I don’t know where to start! I have been married to Chris for 18 years and we have 6 wonderful sons together, ranging from 4 to 17. I would love another baby but at the age of 40 feel that it won’t happen again. I have suffered 3 miscarriages in a row, the first 3 months after my youngest was born in 2003, at 8 weeks, again in Feb 2006 at 8 weeks and again in Nov 2006 at 11 weeks. The last was the worst as I had no idea anything was wrong and went for a routine ultrasound and they could not find a heartbeat. 3 days later, I miscarried my baby at home. He/she would have been due this week. I have had tests, which came back normal (they could not find a reason for the miscarriages). My husband’s sperm results also came back normal. We have been trying to conceive every month since November and nothing!
I would love to hear from anybody else in a similar situation and perhaps there might be someone local to me (Oxford) - who knows! I'm hoping that just talking to someone else in a similar situation might help as I feel that my friends are getting fed up with hearing me going on every month that something doesn't happen.
Posted 3 July 2007
Caz, 45, North Canterbury, NZ
I was delighted when I found this web site and wish I had seen it several years ago when we first started trying for a child !
I thought at 40 that I probably wouldn't ever have children because I had put my career and financial stability first.This realisation really saddened me. However, at 42, I met my partner who is about 11 years younger than me and also without any previous children. We decided early on to try and after clearance from my GP I fell pregnant within a few months. We suffered a missed miscarried at 11 1/2 weeks (meaning it had died several weeks earlier) and we were devastated.
We got pregnant again quickly but again lost the baby very early on.
After about 6 months more of trying we sought help from the Fertility Centre and went through the procedure of monitoring periods, regular blood tests, dye in the tubes and lots of other lovely things (NOT!!) all culminatiing in being put on the fertility drug Clomophene. After the third course I had an internal scan and it was discovered I actually ovulated 2 days earlier than they had thought. Enough said ......
Next month we got it right and I'm now 31 weeks pregnant with an active little guy waiting to get out. We had the Downes tests and while nothing is 100% sure, the results suggest a healthy baby. The pregnancy has been hard but we expected this and I stopped all drinking, smoking, sport (played softball twice a week), work and basically everything I loved doing to make sure we were doing everything right. I thought I was a pretty fit woman but there are a lot of days when I can't get out of bed and have had constant reflux or heartburn. But hey, every time he kicks I smile..
It would be great to hear from other first time older mums (especially from Down Under) and swap stories and advice because I'm sure I have a lot to learn, ha,ha.
Kind regards to everyone.
Posted 21 June 2007
Ruby, 45, Reading, UK
I have recently turned 45. When I was younger I always thought that two children were enough. I had two children in my early 20s neither of which was planned. I then met my second husband in my early 30s and had a third child at the age of 35. Lola was my bonus. I felt so blessed to have her that by the age of 40 I was keen to have another child but was happy to enjoy Lola. Lola however, died suddenly in January 2007. I really want to have another child now. I fell pregnant so easily in my youth but it doesn’t seem to be happening now. I had an appt with a fertility expert who just told me that it was hopeless. I would like to hear from anyone in their mid 40s trying to conceive and also from those in their mid 40s who have conceived successfully.
Posted 17 June 2007
Maxine, 44, Nottingham, UK
Hi there ladies, Just discovered I am pregnant at 44! I have a 5 year old son. Been trying to conceive for 2 years, I thought perhaps it was too late, but hey ho....... here we go...
Would like to connect with other mothers in the same posiition, especially in the UK. I am currently about 6 weeks.
Hope to hear from someone. Very scared due to age, testing etc but hope that everything works out in the end.
Posted 13 June 2007
Brenda, 43, Ft. McMurray AB, Canada
I am presently 43 and turning 44 this month. My fiance and I had originally decided not to have children as I had a tubal ligation 15 years ago and have two children ages 18 and 15. But we are finding ourselves wanting to have another baby that we can share our love with together. I have read many stories on this site and feel a lot more positive about having another child so late in my life. I would love to talk with any other ladies my age that have dealt with a reversal and outcome of the reversal. I am concerned as to what others think and say and I know that is not right and we should follow our hearts. It would be nice to talk with others that have our point of view.
Best of luck to you all.
Posted 13 June 2007
KaTrina, 44, NV, US
It is hard to know where to begin. I was married for 21 years and had two wonderful kids, who are now 21 and 23. My husband decided he wasn’t in love with me anymore and well we were divorced 3 years ago. That is when I met the man of my dreams, who is 9 years younger than me and wants to have kids of his own. I have always wanted to have more kids, and about two years ago had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. My boyfriend's heart was broken and needless to say so was mine. We had put having a child out of our minds because of everything you hear about older woman having babies. Then I came upon your website just when I was at my lowest. I was about to give up on the man I fell in love with let him go so he could find someone younger to have a child with. Your site has brought new hope into my life and I am not going to give up on trying to have a child. Now I know there are more woman out there just like me.
Posted 13 June 2007
Susan, 42, Canada (Updated)
Sometimes it pays to give up. When I last wrote, my husband and I were going through the insemination process. We did two rounds along with the Gonal injections and Progesterone - no luck. We decided it was time to stop and focus on planning our wedding which was set for August 2006. Shortly after the wedding, I applied for a new job in another area of my company and got it. I was very excited and nervous as I’d been in the same area for well over 16 years. Perhaps it was that nervous excitement and the fact that I wasn’t focusing on getting pregnant – during the week before I started my new job something wonderful happened (I didn’t know at the time). The second week in, I didn’t feel very well and was not enjoying my morning cup of tea. I mentioned this to a friend who jokingly said maybe I was pregnant. I laughed it off…but she had aroused my curiosity so I checked the calendar. Sure enough my last period was August 29th and I was already late. First thing I did when I got home was to do a pregnancy test - it was positive! Wow, what a shock. I was worried about what I would tell my new boss so decided to tell her right away. She was very happy and excited for me and told me not to worry. As I had a history of miscarriages I did not want to get my hopes up and I was very nervous when we went for the first ultrasound. The technician said she’d call my husband if there was anything. It seemed like hours for both of us then she asked what my husbands name was and went to get him. For the first time ever we saw that little flash, the little bleep – the heartbeat – something we’d never seen before, it was hard to believe. We were still nervous about the pregnancy however the heartbeat was a good sign…I continued to do pregnancy tests just to make sure I was pregnant (a good waste of money but it settled my mind). We had planned our honeymoon for November and I worried a bit about the traveling and long flight (we went to Hawaii) however, it was meant to be. An ultrasound upon our return home showed everything was normal. I had an amnio in December and early January we found out we were having a little boy. On May 25th, 2007 at 8:30 Adam Ronald was delivered by c-section (he was breech) – what a wonderful sound it was hearing his first cry. My husband and I are over the moon and madly in love with our little sweet boy.
Updated 11 June 2007
Ally, 44, Dallas, Texas, US
Hello, I am 44 and marrying a 27-year-old man, who has never had children or even been married. I have a 19-year-old daughter from a previous marriage who gets along with us and supports our relationship 100%. My fiancé and I want to get started on getting me pregnant immediately, I am looking for other women to talk to that have gone through this process as I must admit I am a little nervous and scared over becoming pregnant at my age. I had really never thought about having another child until I met my fiancé, we just clicked and I have finally found the right man, just had to wait for him to grow up. He was very supportive in letting me make the decision about whether to have a child or not as I had first told him adamantly that I didn't want any more, the been there done that thing. I didn't have any complications with my daughter's pregnancy or birth but that was 20 years ago. I guess I am afraid about having a healthy baby at my age, how much weight I will gain, I have noticed that a lot of older women seem to have twins, which is also makes me a bit nervous. So if there are any other older women married to younger men who have had a baby, I would love to hear from you. Thank you so very much for any and all answers to my questions you might be able to provide.
Posted 11 June 2007
Angelscry2, 38, Mississippi, US
I would like to communicate with other moms who have conceived or who are trying. I am 38 years old and conecieved naturally after 5 years of trying only to have the baby's heart stop beating at 8.5 wks. I am planing to start trying again as soon as I have a period. I feel so disconnected and would like to talk with other people who can relate, encourage, and share.
Posted 21 May 2007
Debbie, 42, Reading, Pennsylvania, US
I have three children, ages 17, 15, 12. One will be "leaving the nest for college" and my husband and I were planning for "Phase 2" of life, only to find out that I am pregnant. We are scared out of our minds, I am 42, he is 56. We are worried about my age, of course, but especially his age and the affects on a child of having a "senior" parent. But the idea is certainly growing on us - we love being parents. I am actually stunned at the negative reactions I am getting for being pregnant. Instead of being joyous and glowing, I feel like hiding! It's wonderful to know that a website like this exists - somehow it is greatly comforting to know you are not alone and are not a "freak"!
Posted 30 April 2007
Silvia, 41, Santa Rosa, California, US (Updated)
Since my previous entry (below), I have decided to continue with my pregnancy. My husband does not think it is the best decision, but seems to be coming around more. I am now at 8 weeks and will be doing some genetic testing at the end of this month. I know this may bring a whole new slew of concerns and questions but feel I need to be as prepared as possible.
Hello, I would like to find other moms in my situation or anyone who has any advice. I just found out I am pregnant at the ripe young age of 41 (42 in June). This is a HUGE surprise seeing as I was getting ready to call my doctor to schedule an appointment to get my tubes tied. Instead I had to call to confirm a pregnancy! My dilema is that my husband does not want us to continue with this pregnancy and I just don't know what to do. We have two children now (6 & 2 years old). We, obviously, thought we were done. Aside from all the risks we hear about, he just feels we are too old to go through sleep deprivation and diapers again. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Posted 19 April 2007
Deborah, 41, Kansas City, USA
Hello, What a great website, so positive and helpful! I am seven weeks pregnant after 3 years of trying with my husband. We had decided, "whatever happens, happens," but truthfully had given up. Then I finally conceived. What is interesting is that I had been taking Spirinolactone for 3-4 months to help my acne (from too much testosterone) and the spirinolactone gently raises your estrogen levels (helping the uterus to produce progesterone, making the uterus more receptive to implantation) and I strongly feel this is why I became pregnant, although do not quote me on this-- this is simply a theory I have, and is certainly not medically proven. Anyway, this is my second marriage, and I have a 22 year old son (who is excited ) and my husband does not have any children and is excited--- so wish us luck! Sonogram is tomorrow! I am hoping this website will help a bit to alleviate the fears that your hear about.
Posted 2 April 2007
Lynsey, 45, France
Hi there, I am desperately wanting to have a baby of my own. My IVF failed due to the neglect of the London Fertility Clinic (Dr Craft). We paid £15,000 and they failed to give the proper drugs and denied it resulting in my not carrying the pregnancy - a horrible situation. Can you help me? I am so upset and scared I am drowning in depression. I'm 45.
Posted 27 March 2007
Cheryl, 43, London, ON, Canada
I can't express how amazing it was to find this website! Just to know that I am not alone in this life altering decision to conceive at an older age.
Having a baby at any age is life altering...but society has such strong "opinions" on what we should or should not be doing with our lives. I want all the women who are struggling to have another child or even struggling with the decision to stay focused on "why". When you feel like it's you against the world (family etc.)...remember one thing.."It's not about them".
Only we know what’s going on inside us...our emotions, desires, etc. Yet we fight with them for yet more justifications on why we want another baby. It doesn't matter...what does matter is that we do! Plain and simple...we just do!! Women struggle to find their identities, their importance, and the reason for their existence. We were blessed with the ability to perform a miracle...only of course with the "ok" from a much higher power.
So no matter how old you are...the only thing that matters is the reason for wanting to conceive. It’s that little voice inside that we give such a hard time to. Just stop..breathe..and listen.
You'll hear all the answers you’re looking for.
I re-married at 40..and my husband (who is 14 yrs. younger) and I were blessed with a beautiful and healthy baby boy. I have a daughter from my first marriage who is 17...who loves him so much. But we want our son to grow up with another sibling so we are in the midst of another miracle in the making. I have miscarried twice...but I will not let that discourage me. Our intent is pure..and it comes from love..so I know it will happen. I am doing everything naturally..using nothing other than a few prayers. I am healthy, but most importantly, I know in my heart that this is what I want. If down the road my wants don't come to pass...I will still be happy and content knowing that I gave it my all...which is all my love.
Good luck to all of you!
Posted 15 March 2007
Peggy, 41, Sooke, BC, Canada
I am a mother of two children, 15 and 7yrs old from previous relationships. I am 41yrs old and I am trying to conceive.
I am so grateful for your site as I have read many bad things about woman trying to have babies after 35!
I am going to try to conceive naturally as both my previous children came with no problems what so ever.
I feel relieved to read about other moms who are even older than I having wonderful results with no problems.
I have met a wonderful man 11yrs my junior, who does not have any children. I would love to give him a child or two.
Posted 26 February 2007
Sue, 48, Co Durham, UK (Updated 15 February 2007)
I am a mum of 2 grown up children and have 3 step children who are also grown up now. I was going to get my tubes reversed a good few years ago, but backed out because I looked after all 5 children. Now they are grown up I feel it is the right time for me now. I have had some tests done and I am not going through the change and I am still ovulating. I also have had x-ray and dye in to check my tubes and they ok and my womb is fine too. I am waiting to see the Gynaecologist on the 7th Dec to see if he will reverse them. I feel quite good about this and feel it will work for me. My husband who is 42 has a high sperm count. I am 48 just gone in Oct. I am hoping all will go well and I am also doing the fertility chart each day, which is good up to now.
I would like to speak with other mothers who are around my age and going through the same thing as me.
I go into hospital on the 27th Feb 2007 to get my tubal reversal.
Posted 29 November 2006 (Updated 15 February 2007)
I am 48 years old, and have two beautiful grown children who have children of their own. I am about to marry the love of my life, who is younger than I. We have discussed having a child of our own, and have decided to try all that we can to make our dream come true. I am afraid to tell friends or family for fear of the negativity that I will hear. I would love to correspond with women who are in, or have been in, a situation similiar to mine.
Posted 12 February 2007
Linda, 45, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada (Updated)
Hello, we have been trying to conceive for the past 6 months, since our okay from doctor. We had a Big BFP and would have been expecting our baby October 19, 2007. Very sadly, I had a miscarriage on the 15 of February. It is sad, but things are well. We are not sure of the problem, but one never knows. We will begin TTC again the next time I ovulate. We are sure we will be pregnant soon. The fortunate thing is that the reversal was success as I did conceive, just not a little sticky bean this time, but next it will be. Prior to conceiving, I did not stress out as stress is not the greatest thing to do. The things I used, first read the information on this site. I used Vitex 400 mg, twice daily, for two months, then once a day after. I also, take prenatal vitamins, folic acid 1mg. Red Clover before ovulation. The vitamins I also take are vitamins E, D, B, C, and Fish oil. I drink plenty of water. I exercise 30 minutes on the treadmill a day for five days in the week. I also kept seeing myself holding a baby and meditating. I do not smoke, drink alcohol nor take any other drugs. I also did the basal body temperature chart vaginally, checked cervix and monitored cervical mucus and most of all prayed and left the rest in Gods Hands. Good Luck Ladies and LOTS of BABY DUST to you all. From Linda
Updated 19 February 2007
David, 45, Philadelphia, US
I am a 40+ Dad. I'd be curious to know if you've ever encountered stories similar to that of my wife and I:
We married late in life, and tried to conceive from the age of 37 onward - we were pregnant at 38, but, sadly, we miscarried (twin identical boys). Without infertility treatment, however, we were
overjoyed to conceive at 41, and we had a daughter, Carly, now age 4.
Now comes the question: I, along with my wife, are really concerned about Carly being an only child of older parents and would love to connect with others in a similar situation.
We've not ruled out another pregnancy, although we are now both 45 - without assistance, however, this doesn't look likely.
Posted 30 January 2007
Victoria, 43, New Zealand
I am a 43 year old (almost 44) who has been going a little bit crazy thinking about wanting a baby! My partner and I both want a baby of our own. We both have previously been married and each have two children from those relationships who are now 15, 17, 20 and 21. We have been worried that we are too old but both feel very strongly about having a child. To add to the complication we have both been fixed, i.e. tubes tied and vasectomy!!! But after visiting a fertility specialist we have been advised to try IVF as then we would not need to have the reversal operations. I would love to hear from some of you out there who may like to share any experiences they have had similar.
Posted 30 January 2007
Val, 45, Dubai
I am 45 years old and trying IVF for the first time with my own eggs ? I have never been pregnant before and only met my husband when I was 40, we have tried to conceive for 4 years with no luck. Is there anyone out there who managed to give birth at 45 with IVF ? If so, I would love to hear your story.
Posted 29 January 2007
Liz, 46, Southend-on-Sea, UK
I have been reading the stories of some of your ladies in the hope of some inspiration to find the strength to keep trying for baby. I am 46 years old and have three grown up children aged 23, 21 and 19 and have been trying to have a baby with my fiancé for 14 months now. He is 22 years younger than me with no children and we really want one together. I was told around 3 years ago that I was peri menopausal so my periods were very irregular and varied in length and heaviness. After 2 months of trying and keeping temperature charts a lady at my family planning clinic told me it would be a good idea to visit her friend who specialises in homeopathy. Within a couple of months my periods were regular and quite normal in every way and any symptoms of the menopause completely disappeared. After another 4 months of trying my G.P referred me to a gynaecologist who was very understanding and arranged a few tests. Blood tests showed that FSH levels were normal (that relates to the menopause) but blood tests showed I may be having trouble ovulating. The scan showed that my tubes and ovaries were good and that follicles could be seen.
My fiancé’s sperm count was low though. He prescribed me Clomid to help with ovulation and told Steve to cut out alcohol, which he did. Steve also started to take Vitamin C with Zinc, Vit E and ate 5 Brazil nuts every day to boost his sperm count. He was also given homeopathic tablets to boost it too. The next 2 sperm tests showed that his sperm count had doubled and that the motility had gone up from 40% to 70%, on the 3rd month of trying I believe I got pregnant. I was 2 weeks late, had all the symptoms and even people that didn't know I was trying asked if I was pregnant. When I started bleeding I was devastated. The following month I took the double dose but I don't think I ovulated that month, then the following month I didn't have a period because I had severe sciatica and was bed ridden for one month and off work for 11 weeks so far.
Last month after eating really, really healthily and drinking lots of water I took another single dose of Clomid and definitely ovulated. I’m due to start my period tomorrow but felt like I could be pregnant. However, tonight I have noticed a bit of spotting and I am now presuming it's going to start. I'm gutted, but at least it will be day 28. I feel Steve and I are doing everything right but it's still not happening. It's so frustrating, but believe it will happen naturally in the end.
Posted 16 January 2007
Stephanie, 46, Arcadia, nr Pasadena, CA, US
I just turned 46 and have discovered that I have fibroids and cysts. I am having them removed immediately. I have no children and have been married for 1 year. In my past I had 2 abortions, the first at age 23 and the second at age 38, which I now regret and see how having abortions is the worst thing that I did. I am writing for support and feel I have no one to talk to. I would like to have a child of my own without the help of an egg donor. I do believe in maricles and feel the need to find some. Trying to keep my chin up.
Posted 16 January 2007
Rebecca, 44, Melbourne, Australia
Hi, I will be 45 in a few weeks' time and we have been trying to conceive for the last few months with no success. I would love to correspond with other women who are over 40 and TTC and to make the 2 week wait a little more bearable sharing it with someone else going throug the same thing.
Posted 15 January 2007