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Connect With Other Mothers and Those Trying to Conceive
Beverly, 40, US

I'm 40 (just turned it in April).  My new husband and I are going to try to have a baby.  He has never been married and doesn't have any children.  I have a son from my previous marriage (he's 20!) I'm very nervous about my age but I don't have any health problems that I am aware of.  I've had some problems with my period the last year or so due to being on the pill for so many years but I'm ready to try for a baby. I checked with my mom about menopause and she said she didn't start the change until her mid to late 40's so I pray that I have a good chance of giving my husband a child.  I would love to connect up with other moms going through the same thing.  Jan I love the website.  This is my first visit.  I will be a regular visitor.  I just put pregnancy at 40 in
Google and there you were!  Thank God for encouragement.

Code 166
Posted 22 June 2005


Fen, 40, Hong Kong

I am 40 going on 41.   When I was reading the message of Margie (code 160), I could feel her heart wrench of m/c at 5 months.  I have the same sad story.  I had an m/c at 20-week last year.  It's a boy.  I am still keeping his picture.  He's my first child definitely.   I am still hoping to conceive though I know it is difficult in my age.   I have been married for 8 years.  My husband (44) & I are longing the possibility of holding our baby.  

Code 165
Posted 22 June 2005


Margaret, 49, Western Australia

Hi, I am forty-nine years old, married for one year and trying to have a baby. I live in Albany in West Australia and have found that the doctors over here won't help us to achieve a pregnancy. I can’t even get progesterone cream. I have been charting with the computer program ovusoft for the last six cycles and feel devastated when each month comes around and you know who arrives as scheduled.  I would love to talk to other women my age who are trying to conceive. 

Code 164
Posted 17 June 2005


Sue, 46, US

I am Sue. I live in the USA where I have been for a few years with my family but we are originally from UK.  I have 2 older children, one expecting her own first baby, and two younger girls still at home aged just 5 and 9.   We would welcome another baby, but it hasn't happened yet, so we will see what God's plan is for us!   I am 46 years old and would love to meet other moms from either UK or USA (or anywhere) for exchange of e-mails, letters and maybe telephone calls.  We are homeschoolers and interested in most things.  Ultimately, it might be nice to meet up somewhere for a holiday.  If this sounds interesting to any of you mom's out there, I would really love to hear from you.  Thanks.

Code 163
Posted 17 June 2005


Sandya, 42, Milan, Italy

I am a mother of a 2 yr toddler, conceived easily and I did not have an amnio done.  Still things went well, luckily. We are trying for a second baby, but last year I became pregnant normally and I miscarried at 6 wks, with no heart beat and this year unfortunately we have to face the dilemma of an amnio result negative with a Down baby. I am going for a D&C this week almost at my 18th week. Anyway I am not giving up hope and I wish to try for the 3rd and last time. If it doesn't work out, we will be happy with one child. Best of luck for all trying mums and pleaseeee do not give up hope.

Code 162
Posted 14 June 2005


Carla, 41, Washington DC, US

Hi,  My name is Carla. I've only know my special fella for just over two months.  We hit it off right away and were instantly drawn to each other.  He is from Nigeria.  He wakes all of my senses in my body, mind and spirit.  We had the talk about babies because he wants children.  I am 41 - just turned on 5/26 and he is 34 - he will be 35 12/13.  I told him that I don't want children because I have three already, but he does and now he has says that you know we won't end up together because I don't want children and am afraid to have more children because of the age factor.  Anyway, my stomach hurts so bad when I think that I can't love him anymore because of the baby issue.  I would hate to lose him because he's growing on me.  I miss him so much.  Recently, he's been acting distant towards me.  I have thought about having other children before but not like this.  I am currently going through a divorce from my husband right now.  No other man beside my husband has ever made me feel like this new man in my life... It hurts right now to think about not being with him.  If it happens that he leaves me because of the age factor then I know I'd cry like I've never cried before and live on....

I know that he would stick by me and be right there for me if we were decide to get pregnant. The other day we went for dinner and he bought the baby issue up again.  He has also asked me if I have gone through the change.  I said no!  I know it's too soon to love someone, but I'm having so many emotions right now.  I'm feeling insecure, happy, lonely, scared  - all that balled up into one. But when I'm with him all that disappears.

I've never been with a man like him; he feels close to me like we've known each other for years and that's scary to me because my feelings are involved.  He says it's hard to resist me.  But I know he's pushing me away; at least that's how I'm feeling because he's talking differently, acting differently.  Right now, I want to call him.  I did talk with him earlier and told him about your website and what I find there and he is like, that's good! 

I love this man and right now, I believe he feels the same way.  I want to me his wife and have his child, our baby girl or son...

Code 161
Posted 13 June 2005


Margie, 44, Monroe, VA, US

I am 44, about to be 45 and would like to talk to others who are trying to conceive. I have had two m/c. I lost one at 5 months, which would have been my first child and one at 8 weeks. I had a myomectomy after the first m/c and five months later got pregnant again, only to have a blighted ovum and m/c at 8 weeks. I have not been able to get pregnant since and it has been over a year now. My doctor seems to think that I am not ovulating anymore and suggested clomid. I am kind of scared to take it because of my history and age. Are there any others out there that have similar stories? I do not have any family or friends to talk to and desperately need someone to be able to talk to about similar things and to just have a friend.

Code 160
Posted 12 June 2005


Sheila, 39, Wahiawa, Hawaii

Hello, my name is Sheila. I'm 39 years old and will turn 40 in Nov '05. I just made an appointment to have a tubal reversal. I feel I have made the right choice. I have 3 children from a previous marriage and my husband doesn't have any children, so we are going to have a baby together. I am looking for someone who has been through what I'm about to go through.  Thank You.

Code 159
Posted 1 June 2005


Fen, 43, Cleveland, UK

I am 43 with 2 daughters 21 & 18 from a previous marriage.  I am now with my dream man (just happens to be younger too) and we have been together 3 1/2 years & got hitched Jan 04.  We met on the net in a football chat room (both nutty about football) & became net pals, then phone pals, then we met and we both just knew we were a perfect match & have been inseparable ever since!   Dave has no children so it would just be magical if we could have one together - I tried IVF 2 yrs ago, but even though I had 4 lovely embryos it didn’t work and the 2nd time I did all the drugs only to be told that my remaining embies had died whilst thawing.  Soooooo, not to be deterred & having no available cash in the jar for more IVF, I consulted my credit card & a surgeon & had my sterilisation reversed on April 1st (7 weeks ago).  As far as I know it all went really wel,l but I have to go have dye washed through my tubes soon to see if they are working ok - so fingers crossed!  

I am originally from Norwich but have lived in Middlesbrough for 2 years (Dave is from here).
I am absolutely devastated about NCFC getting relegated so a bit of baby news would be the best tonic right now!   I work full time as a sales administrator & would love to chat to anyone really but if there is someone out there who just happens to be 43 with a young stud & newly unfastened tubes then that would be a bonus!

Code 158
Posted 29 May 2005




Mo, 43, Scotland

Almost three years we've been trying for our first baby, in the past two years I've had two unexplained m/c's.  I'm 43 now, my partner's 45 and like many others it's just not happening.  We've had all the tests and been told "everythings fine" we just have to keep trying.  I'm convinced my eggs are just too poor quality but nobody can say this for sure.  I can't help thinking its maybe just not meant to be, hope is all I have left though and my belief in fate, destiny.   It's hard to remain positive when there are so many hurdles ahead but I keep telling myself "one step at a time, think positive". 

I've just started on Clomiphene, the fertility drug that boosts ovulation.  The first scan shows I have two eggs but only one is a good one, the other is too small, I now have as good a chance as any other fertile woman of 43 so hear goes it.

I'd love to hear from anyone in a similar situation especially if you've tried Clomiphene and been successful.  Good luck to everyone trying for their own "wee miracle" my thoughts are with you all.

Code 157
Posted 25 May 2005


Beverly, 44, Oregon, US

I am 44, a mother of three (18 boy, 14 almost 15 girl, 9 almost 10 boy). I have been divorced for 3 ½ years. I have a live in partner I love and want to share the rest of my life with. We have talked about having a child many times (he has never had a child) but we had thought I was too old or his diabetes had done something to prevent that. Since then I have found out I am around 5 weeks pregnant now and will deliver this baby when I am 45 (provided all goes well, I hope so). He had brought up marriage but I am scared a bit since I have been through that before. My thing is I would like to know if there is anyone out there who would like to talk who has been through a similar situation. I have many things going through my mind. Will the baby be ok? Am I healthy enough? Will I be ok to deliver? (because I have 3 others to still take care of) and so on. I worry a lot and I know that is not good but not sure how not to. Another worry is my partner came to be with me 2500 miles away and he would like to move back. I would like to but I think it's important to be here while I go through the pregnancy where my other children are (whom I love so much). So if anyone would like to talk please respond. I would love it.

Code 156
Posted 24 May 2005


Dee, 42, Northamptonshire, UK

I have just turned 42 and am trying to have another child with a new partner. I have an 8 year old girl  who would love a brother or sister. I had a miscarriage about 3 years ago and am scared of it happening again. I would welcome any ideas or suggestions please.

To all the women trying don't give up. To all new mums congratulations. To everyone thank you for sharing your experiences.

Dee

Code 155
Posted 18 May 2005


Maureen, 45, Philadelphia, US

This is my third prenancy in the last 3 years.  I am 45 years old and I have 4 children, and my finance and I are trying to make it through this pregnancy. I live in the Philadelphia area and I am looking for a ob/gyn doctor who specifically deals with women my age.  I have had 5 miscarriages.  I had my tubes tide after my third child and had a tubes reversed.  I had 2 miscarriages and then I had my son who is now 10 years old.  My last pregnancy I had a sac, but they could not find a baby.  They tell me that is my case this time.  Actually I got different opinions from the ultrasound doctor and the ob doctor.  The ultrasound doctor was not certain what he seen.  The ob doctor wants to do a D&E.  I was not comfortable with their decison and they did not make me feel comfortable. We decided to get a second opinion. 

I noticed that there are a lot of doctors out there that are not in agreement with women over 40 having babies.  I have had several doctors ask me if I know the risk and I do not need to keep this baby because I am too old. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable when I go to see a doctor that's why I decided to go on the Internet.

Code 154
Posted 14 May 2005


Susie, 42, Washington DC, US

I am 42 and have one daughter, age 5.  I have wanted to have another baby since she was about 18 months old and my husband always said and still says no.  I have, however, been unable to shake this desire and am now considering doing it on my own.  I would love to talk with more women who are over 40 and wanting a baby.  Thanks so much, Susie.

Code 153
Posted 13 May 2005



Jacqueline, 41, Ohio, US

Hi! My name is Jacqueline and I am 41 years old. I live in Ohio, US. I have three sons by my first marriage ages 19, 18, and 16. I recently married my current husband and we had a son born in May 2004. We decided two months ago that we wanted another child.  With the other 4 pregnancies I had no trouble conceiving. Now I find that I am disappointed each month. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on what we could be doing wrong. We want a baby so badly to grow up with our youngest son. Your responses are appreciated.

Code 152
Posted 4 May 2005


Mary, 37, Cumbria, UK

My name is Mary, I am a psychiatric nurse from Cumbria.I have recently turned 37.  My partner and I have just decided to start trying to have a baby. I already have a son of 13 but my partner has no children and has such a good rappport with my son that he would like to have more children. I have been reading round the subject of having a child at my age, but I am trying to stay positive. my partner has just qualified as a nurse and secured a job this month, which is why now seems a good time to get cracking on baby making.  my main concern is that I have been on the pill for 7 years and I am worried that it may take ages to get my cycle back to normal due to this.  I would really love to hear from anyone else who was on the pill long term prior to trying for a baby while the clock is ticking and what your experiences have been.

Code 151
Posted 2 May 2005


Julie, 41, UK

My name is Julie from UK - I am 41 years old and have one wonderful daughter aged 5 years.   I have had endo in the past and had surgery.   I would dearly love another child but seem unable to conceive.  3 Years with no contraception.   I have had blood tests over the last six months which originally stated I was actually in the menopause, I can go months without any period that I return to normal cycle.  Just seen my consultant today who has confirmed from recent tests that my results are improving, still slightly showing menopause results, however I have just stated a period too after none for the last three months! !

Does anyone have any suggestions to help us conceive ???? and am I too old at 41 to try???

Many thanks

Code 150
Posted 28 April 2005


Lenoire, 46

My name is Lenoire Darrett.  I am writing you to see if there are any couples, married or otherwise out there who are 46 years and older trying to conceive despite the odds that are stacked against them.  I had not even thought about having more children, because I have four grown children and 12 grandchildren.  I am dating a man who is 41 years old and has no children.

I have had so many miscarriages since 1989 and in 1994 after the last miscarriage I decided to through in the towel and live through my grandchildren just like the doctor advised me to do.  I had x-rays of reproductive organs with blocked fallopian tubes and scar tissue in my uterus, along with a luteal phase defect.  I have had several pregnancy tests done at home that were positive.  I know that the odds are stacked against m, yet I truly want to give my fiancé a child.  I still have regular cycles every 25-28 days and I am trying to become more physically fit.  I recently changed my diet to eating less fat and more vegetables, fruits and exercising by walking more.  I know that pregnancy has occurred when I was not looking to get pregnant in the past.  I know that I have some medical challenges that I can take care of myself with herbs and vitamins.  But there are some that I cannot but I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  

Please write me back I would love to hear from you all.

Code 149
Posted 28 April 2005


Pat, 43, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

Thank you for your wonderful and inspiring web site!  I am a 43 year old mom of one adorable 2 year old boy named Daniel. He is truly the light of my life and his birth a miraculous event. My partner, Garry (Daniel's dad) and I have been trying to concieve another baby since last summer. Over all I feel upbeat and think what will be will be. I have told myself that I already have a wonderful child and am grateful for his presence in my life. However since turning 43 last week I cannot help but feel a sense of sadness and loss.

Just one week before we had concieved Daniel in May 2002, we had been told by fertility experts that after fertility testing we were "sub fertile" and that we should consider our options for assisted conception. Daniel was concieved, without fertility assistance, several days later. We were
shocked and overjoyed as we had been trying to concieve for 14 months. I suppose I thought the same would happen this time.

I came across your web site last fall and felt very encouraged. Six months later I am feeling that I need to connect with other older moms both those trying to concieve and those with young toddlers. I thank you for this opportunity.

Code 148
Posted 26 April 2005


Angelika, 40, Iowa, US

Hello,

My name is Angelika.  I am 40 years and I am 10 weeks’ pregnant. I will be 41y when the baby is born. My husband and I are still in shock that it happened unexpectedly. I hadn’t had a period since February. At  first I thought because of stress it might come a few days later.....weeks went by and I started to have symptoms (I am so tired, breasts hurt and later I got morning sickness).  I did 2 pregnancy tests and they were negative; then finally I went to the doctor and she said I should do a blood test to find out what’s going on - and the test was positive!

I am so afraid that the baby is not healthy because of my age. Just a few days ago my nausea stopped. I have lived in Iowa since 2002, but I am originally from Austria. I met my 2nd husband over Internet and we got married in August 2002.

I have 2 daughters from my first marriage; they are 17y and 18y. My husband has 4 kids from his first marriage; they are 22y, 19y, 15y and 13y.

If everything goes well I get my green card at the end of this year. I would like to talk to someone who can relate to my situation and maybe lift my spirits. I still can't believe that there is a baby growing inside me 'again'. I will have my first doctor's visit in 3 weeks.

Code 147
Posted 25 April 2005


Rose, 41, Merseyside, UK

I work full time, play the guitar occasionally, enjoy playing games on the computer or board games and cards. My favourite place is The Highlands in Scotland.
I have 2 beautiful daughters aged 17 and 21. I  recently married  my best friend and we have been trying for a baby for 2 years, we succeeded in April 2004 but sadly I had a miscarriage. I am now on tablets to stimulate ovulation and hopefully will become pregnant again. I would love to hear from anyone who is in a similar situation and those with a happy ending.

Code 146
Posted 23 April 2005


Erica, 43, The Netherlands

Hi,

I'm a 43-year-old mum of three daughters (21, 19, 16) from a previous marriage. My husband has a daughter of 30. He is 10 years older than me. We long for a baby of us both. So we decided to give it a try. I'm living in Belgium. Sorry for my rough English.

Code 145
Posted 19 April 2005


Clare, 37, UK

Up till now I have never been that keen on having children. Now I'm in my late 30s, I'm suddenly starting to feel that I'm about to miss out on my chance to have children and I don't know what to do. I know that I am not at all maternal but at the same time I've started to have this feeling that I ought to have children  while I still can.

My partner, Paul (39), isn't sure what to do either. We've talked about having children but not really come to any decision.

Did anyone out there feel like that and still went ahead and had children? How do you feel about it now?

Thanks,
Clare

Code 144


Allison, 51 Australia

I am a work at home mum with 3 grown children from a previous marriage. Now I am remarried to a wonderful man and we would both love to have the joy of having a baby together. I have been told by Doctors that it is not impossible to conceive naturally , but unlikely.
I would love to hear from any other women over 50 who have been able to conceive and any herbs etc that may have increased their fertility. We cannot afford to do fertility treatment etc.
Good luck to all want-to-be Mums over 40 - we have a lot to offer, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Code 143

elinda, 41, UK

Hi I am 40,  41 in April and 10 weeks' pregnant. Got married late in life (36).  Life’s a little crazy at the moment, as we are renovating our house and we are currently living in a caravan. Hopefully in 2 years time we will be moving in the house.   I am very excited at being pregnant but also very daunted by all the statistics, and what tests to undergo.  On my first visit to the doctor’s at every point he mentioned my age he had a nervous giggle. All I can say is that I am so relieved to have found this website.  Thank you.  

Code 142


Venetia, 42, Australia

Hello,

My name is Venetia and I am now 5 weeks pregnant at the age of 42 with my second child.I married late at the age of 38 after concentrating on my career. I am now in the hardest job in the world- a mum !  My first child is only 10 months old and she was born when I was 41 . I am excited and scared about how I am going to cope. I will be having a series of tests to determine if all is OK with the baby . I am not really feeling any symptoms as yet. I pray that this little baby is healthy and that all is well. I am a nervous wreck. I would like to talk to other ladies in a similar position.

Code 141  


Linda, 40, Australia

Hi, my name is Linda and I am 40 ( nearly 41 ) live in Sydney, I have a 13 year old daughter and nearly 8 year old son; common story - divorced and with new partner. He has no children so I now find myself seven weeks' pregnant with 3rd child (first try) and am due 24th November 2005. I hope to get pregnant again some time next year and give this one a sibling around the same age.

I can’t believe how pregnant I already look and must admit am a bit daunted by the prospect of another baby but excited as well. My own mother thinks I am insane and is totally unsupportive (her mother had her at 45).

Would like to talk to other mums in similar situations.

Code 140


Sharon, 47, New South Wales, Australia

Hi, I am from New South Wales, Australia. Hubby ken, I have 2 girls Samantha 23 & Terri 16.  I have 2 angel babies as well. Ken & I have been tog. For 28yrs.  I always wanted lost of babies but our youngest has a disability & I just felt overwhelmed to think about more babies, also Ken didn't want anymore :(, so at the tender age of 39 I decided I wanted the babies I had missed out on. I went off B/C at 41 & am 47 now so have been trying 6 years this year.  I was told at 41 that I was too old.  I also only have 1 ovary due to a cyst at 32.

I stumbled upon this site on the very day I was going to quit trying. I had just had an appt. with a fertility counsellor who had said I had 0 chance of another baby without using a donor.  After reading many of the stories here, I have hope again.

I would love to talk with other women my age.

Thank you

Code 139


Christina, 39, SW Tennessee, US

I'm a SAHM of 39 and my husband is 56.  In our 10 years of marriage wee have been blessed so far with 3 children: 2 daughters age 8 and almost 6 and a son age almost 3.  I miscarried a baby 4 years ago at 14 weeks also.  We are expecting our fourth child in October and yes, I have had some thoughts about Down Syndrome.  My previous midwife was primary care giver to the local Amish community and after 20 years of assisting deliveries (and many moms were in their 40's and even 50's) only one baby had DS, from a young couple in their 20's.  It's a comforting thought.

We live on a farm, raise/grow our food, and try to eat as raw as possible to reverse some of the damage of eating the wrong foods.   We are conservative Christians and we are trusting that His will be done in our lives.

I would love to hear from anyone who has a similar lifestyle or just wants to chat.

Code 138


Susan, 46, Auckland, New Zealand

My name is Susan; I am a fit and healthy 46 year old with two daughters 19 & 17 from a previous marriage and now with a loving new partner of 38.  Over Easter weekend we discussed having a baby which came out of the blue. I really thought it wasn’t for me, but now that things are starting to run smoothly for us both, it is something I can't get off my mind.  We discussed children when we first met and he said he didn’t really mind not having kids after I had told him that our relationship wouldn’t work if he wanted kids.  I thought I was way past all that and I didn’t want to be selfish and deprive him the experience of one of the greatest joys in life if he really did want kids.  After our discussion he is really excited about it, but is concerned for me and the things that might go wrong with the baby. I am not sure how this will go and I'm really in the dark about having babies at my age, though I do know there are concerns of Down's Syndrome, Spina Bifida etc.  I do know about taking folic acid, but not sure what else I can take to help the conception process.  What tests should I have before trying and what other complications can occur?  If there are any expectant mothers, or other ladies around my age who are trying in Auckland I would love a support buddy as I don’t even know any young expectant mothers around me let alone older ones. 

Code 137


Jen, UK

I got the site address from a magazine that was in my Fertility Clinic waithing room.  I have just checked it out and found it very informative.

I do have a question. Maybe someone can help me.  I did ask the Dr at my clinic about natural progesterone instead of the pessaries in the later stages of an IVF treatment, but she was unable to advise me.  Do you know of anyone who has used this and if so how much did they use to get the effects required?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Code 136


Christine, 44, London, UK

Hi, I’m Christine from London. I married for the first time in Jan 04. I'm 44 now. My husband is 30 and has never been married before. I am desperate to have a baby, but it’s just not happening. I keep thinking to myself shall I give up or try ‘til I’m a certain age. We are on an adoption agency’s books, but they say we have to be together longer. Nothing seems to be getting me the baby I long for.

Code 135


Chrissy, 42, New Zealand

Hi,  If there is any mum out there that is 43 and has had, or is having a baby, I would love to hear from you. My name is Chrissy.  'm 42 and about to embark on this wonderful trip again for the third time. My kids are 25 and 19 so it feels all new again.

Code 134


Sara, 40, Canada

Hi , my name is Sara and I just turned 40 in Feb 2005 (husband is 37). We have been trying to conceive for 2 yrs. No luck yet. Had 2 inseminations and one IVF. Going for the 2nd IVF next month. I have had every test in the book....all good but my husband has low sperm count and low motility. Last IVF I got 10 eggs....9 mature, 6 went on to fertilize and planted 2 (icsi and assisted hatching).

I'm also seeing an accupuncturist...she is hopeful for us. Would like to speak to anyone who has had similar experience. The process is extremely frustrating.

Code 133


Debra, 41, Australia

I will be 42 years of age on the 1st May this year.  I have 5 children from a previous marriage they are aged 19, 17, 15, 13 and 11.  I thought my pregnancy days were over until my partner of 4 years (44 this July)and I decided we would like a baby to celebrate and complete our "family".  I am very excited and invigorated by this epiphany of ours,
I love being pregnant and the birth process and of course babies and children and feel like I have another chance to do it all again.

I have had my first disappointment.. My period arrived on schedule this week - thought it would be too much to expect to conceive in our first month of trying - still my disappointment has surprised me and I hope it doesn't get me down too much as I fear it will take the excitement out of the whole event otherwise.

I would love to catch up with others out there who are "trying" - especially those having their second family and being over the 40 mark - I must also mention I haven't had the guts to mention it to the wider family as I know what their response would be.. And it wouldn't be good! My children are very excited by the prospect as is my partner and myself and that's all that counts as far as I'm concerned.

Code 132


Chris, 39, New York State, US

I was so encouraged when I read you had your fourth at 40.  I want another baby (would be my 4th) my husband is much older and all friends and relatives think it is crazy- I have tried to convince mysself not to, but have this nagging feeling.  We are going to go ahead and try.  We have 3 children-5, 4 and 2.  My children have no cousins and I think it is good to have  acrowd.  Thanks for the site!

Code 131

Rona, 46, Scotland

I have an 11 year old son, no longer with his dad but with new partner and been trying almost 18 months. Partner (2 boys from previous partner) had a vasectomy reversal and tests indicate this has been successful re: count, motility etc leaving me feeling it's me that's past it! Having said that I still have regular periods and have had blood and urine tests indicating I am ovulating and no concrete reason why I should not conceive....except age!

GP referred us to local infertility centre but nothing they would offer except egg donation...at a price. We are lucky that we do have our kids and had not considered going that far...or having the ££ available!

I am still left wondering if there are other things that could be explored???

I have had reg. acupuncture, reflexology and herbal meds and can't sustain it financially or mentally. I am more acceptingt that it won't happen but not in practice doing anything to stop conception!

Would be good to hear from others in Scotland.

Code 130


Michele, 40, Queensland, Australia

My name is Michelle. I am a working, 40 yr old, with a seven year old son. I am lucky enough to be married to a truly wonderful man and I am currently 19 weeks pregnant with our second child. Four pregnancies in total, the 2nd resulting in a miscarriage at 7 weeks and the third was ectopic and ruptured. I live in Australia in Queensland. I am a very arty crafty sort of person, sewing, sketching, candle making, scrapbooking and I love collecting dragons and wizards. I would truly love to hear from any other mums around my age, to share with someone who is going thru pregnancy round this age. Have been told I am suffering from placenta previa, so anyone who is or has gone thru this I would love to hear from you.

Code 129                                     


Donna, 41, Tuscon, Arizona, US

Hi, my name is Donna and I live in Tucson, Arizona.  This is my fifth pregnancy and I am currently eight weeks.  I have a 13 year old girl, 11 year old girl, 5 year old boy and a 15 month old little girl. I am having severe morning sickness.  I am wondering if anybody out there has morning sickness as bad as I do.  I am wondering if it has to do with my age of 41.  I will have just turned 42 when the baby is due. 

My pregnancy at age 35 with my son was horrific but ended up in a miracle.  He was on his way out at 24 weeks and I had an emergency cerclage put in, however, this failed and he broke through it.  I was hospitalized for three full months and he came out healthy at 37 weeks and 2 days weighing in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces.  He was truly a miracle baby.  My last pregnancy with my daughter Mandee I had a prophylatic cerclage put in at 14 weeks. I made it through that pregnancy and they removed the cerclage at 37 weeks and 2 days and she was born at 7 pounds, 2 ounces.  This time I will have another cerclage put in place at 14 weeks.  BUT I am scared as usual.  Was wondering if any other mothers out there had an experience a cerclage and an incompetent cervix
(so they say this is what I have).

Everyone is so negative about pregnancy in our 40s.  They scare us with all the chances of a chromosomal abnormality, etc.  Just would like to talk to other mothers out there who have similar concerns.

Code 128  (Posted 17 February 2005)



Colleen, 41, Australia

I have been recieving your emailed newsletters. I am still contemplating whether or not to try for a baby. I am 41 and my son is 11. It is a long time since I have had "little people' about but my new partner of 3 years is younger than me with no children of his own, so it is something we both would love - to share a child.

Anyway. I will continue to read your newsletters and visit your website for inspiration and encouragement. I am happy for you to put my details on the site incase there is someone interested in writing.

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Sue, 47, Dorset, UK

I am a 47 year old mum of 6 ages from 27 - 5 years old and I would love another baby, was begining to feel I was being stupid when I came across this site,I have a 16 year old with Down syndrome and that is not a big issue for me , I had no ante natal test's with my 10 and 5 year olds, looking forward to reading all your inspiring stories, Sue. Dorset.

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Karen, 39, Toronto, Canada

My name is Karen and I am 39 years old (in a couple weeks!).  I have been married to my husband for almost 2 years.  We met late in life and neither of us had children.  Before we were married I became pregnant but had a miscarriage.  We decided to get married before trying again and within 3 months of our marriage, we conceived.  Our baby boy was born on May 3/2004 and is perfect.  I was 37 at conception and 38 at delivery.  I had a very easy, normal pregnancy. 

I am so up in the air about trying for a second.  I imagine that we'd wait until Owen was at least 2 before trying which would make me 40 when we try to get pregnant and 41 at delivery.  My husband would be 43.  He is more concerned than I am about this.  Our fears are not so much with possible abnormalities but with our ability to be as energetic as we should be with 2 young children.  Finances are also a concern.  We both have pretty good paying jobs but 2 children in day care is very costly.  I'm not sure I could be a stay at home mom full time with only one income. 

I am not sure about having an only child but have so many concerns about having a 2nd just for the sake of giving Owen a sibling.  Is anyone in my situation?  Regardless I'd love to hear from other mothers considering trying to conceive again.

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Mimi, 40, Clarksville, TN, US

My name is Mimi and I just turned 40 this past October.  I also remarried in October (a day before my 40th birthday.)  I have 2 daughters and my new husband has 1 daughter.  We would both like to have another  child.  He is currently serving in the U.S. Army and is getting ready to be deployed back to Iraq in September/October 2005.  We are trying to conceive before he leaves. We were going to wait until we were married 1 year before trying, but his second
deployment took us by surprise so now we feel there will be no right time to start and I don't want to wait that much  longer.  I wanted to see how other mothers 40 and over have tried and  succeeded in conceiving.  We tried 3 months and nothing yet.  I am feeling a little down over it but I am hopeful that all will end well and that soon we will get good news.

Any good tips will be very much appreciated.  Thank you so much for  your time.

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Vicki, 48, Chester, UK

Hi !

I am Vicki, aged nearly 48 and live Nr Chester.

I have 4 daughters, but am now ttc with my new husband. I would love to hear from anyone near me in a similar position. I like my pc and making new friends. I like being with my family . I am a midwife, nurse and florist!!

Be nice to trade experiences with some one !!

Vicki xx

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Vicki. 45, Tennessee, USA

I'm looking for anyone who has had a tubal reversal at my age,45, and then successfully conceiving and carrying the baby to full term. I am in a second marriage with a wonderful man who has never had children.We very much want to have a child of our own.I have three grown children from a previous marriage ages 26, 24, and 21. I am in good health with regular periods in a 27-28 day cycle. We are just starting the initial testing for sperm count, FSH, estradiol, and finding a clinic to do the reversal. We would appreciate any commmunication that would be encouraging.

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Maxine, 43, Colorado, US

I was so EXCITED to find your website!

I am a single mom to be by choice at 43. Now 10 weeks pregnant, I was blessed and got pregnant the first time I tried with artificial insemination using frozen donor sperm.I am hoping to find other moms over 40 in my area, especially anyone like myself who is or has done this on their own, to form a local network/support group.

Maxine
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Sue, 52, Chesterfield, Derbyshire, UK

I am 52 years old. Tragically my only child died at 17 years she would have been 19 if she had lived, My husband (my daughters father )have since split up  and I have met a 46 year old man who is my partner and we would like to try for a baby. I would like to hear from any other mothers who concieved in their 50's and also anything that might help me get pregnant at my age.

Thanks Sue

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Kelly, 42, Ontario, Canada (Updated)

Hi. My name is Kelly and i will be 43 in March 2005. I am 6 1/2 weeks' pregnant, which is a pregnancy that is very much wanted by myself and my spouse. I would like to talk to other moms who are pregnant or have had their baby at this later age in life.

Update:  On 19 August 2005, Kelly gave birth to a beautiful baby son weighing 7.75 pounds!  Many congratulations!!!

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Sheila, 37, Wisconsin, US

Hi, I am a 37(soon to be 38) year old mom of one son who is 12. I have been divorced now longer than I was married. I was divorced in 1994. I have been dating someone for 4 years & we go back & forth on having a child someday. But of course we are not even engaged yet. He has thought about having children but now thinks he's too old & has been single all his life. (he is a truck driver but does get home about every 2 or 3 days). He would be a great dad but tends to be pessimistic about the costs, inconvenice, etc. I have mixed feelings now at this age & of course my parents would think Im totally looney to do it at such a late age. But when I see someone with a little one I get so emotional & wondering if I'll ever have another child. Those were my best days when my son was young. (I keep reminding myself that they DO grow up) Not sure I want to be 60 when my child is 20! I would appreciate any emails or advice from anyone! Thanks!

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Mary, 43, Canada

I am 43. Trying to conceive my 2nd baby for 2 years. I had a mc 1.5 ago. I had 6 cycles Femara+IUI wthout success. I would like to have suggestions from 43 and + mothers who conceived naturally. Just to hear from a mother 43 and+ who conceived will be an encouragement.

Thanks very much.

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Marilyn, 45, UK  (Updated)

I've previously sent an email requesting contacts with other mums over 40 towards the early part of last year, when I was pregnant.  Now, at the age of 45,  I'm the proud mother of Freyja (born 30th June 2004) who has three teenage brothers to spoil her rotten! (all from the same marriage).  It was good, at the the time, to correspond with some other women who tended to be trying to conceive and were curious to know if I had any secrets for falling pregnant.  Now six months on, I'm finding that - albeit what a wonderful little blessing Freyja is - life appears to be a little isolating at present.  At a time of life when one tends to make plans for travel or returning to things in life one did before childbirth, suddenly all that is put on hold, not just temporarily, but possibly for good.  Yes, sleepness nights are hard to cope with at this age, even though I know its not forever.  I'm finding that I don't quite 'fit in' anymore in quite the same way with existing friends and with other new mums (invariably young and first timers within the local baby clubs).  This makes one feel somewhat of an 'oddball' and, like I said, enhances the sense of isolation.

Therefore, it would be great if somewhere out there, other mature women in a similar situation to me, could be contacted (preferably in the UK), as a means of morale support!  I would love to set up a local group of mature mothers and babies where I live and will be seeking advice from my health visitor etc. for contacts (if they exist). 

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Lynn, 44, Canada

I want to tell my story and perhaps there are others that can help me through this time....

I am a very healthy 44 year young lady, I have been in a long distance relationship with a man for approx. a year now.   Four years ago, I had a tubal ligation, as I felt that I would not meet a man and would not have the chance of having a baby.  Boy, was I wrong!   This man has come in to my life and opened up the flood gates....I have never met someone that I wanted to share such a miracle with.  Now here is the twist....I live in Canada and he lives in the US, which is just fine, however, he is so worried that I will not be able to conceive and he wants to have a family so much.   I keep telling him that I am healthy, I can have a tubal reversal, and the chances of me conceiving are fairly good.  Besides, there are always other options to bring a precious bundle to our lives.  I fear that he is going to bolt, afraid that I will not be able to do this.  And before you all start on me, lol.....I know he loves me, but this is very important to him.   I guess I need to speak to others that have gone through a similar experience, and have had the joy of conceiving.  

Thanks for reading and I hope to get a chance to talk to some of the mothers here.

Lynn

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Cookie, 43, London, UK

I moved from Canada to the UK recently and now live in London. I am 43 and have 2 teenagers 18 and 16 from a previous relationship. I have just met a wonderful guy who is 2 years younger and have no kids of his own.  I would very much love to try for another baby, but I'm a bit scared
because I had pre-eclampsia and other complications with my last pregnancy, spent so many months in hospital and had to undergo an emergency cesarean three months before due date.
I don't want to leave it till too late. Would therefore love to hear from older mums who conceived naturally after age 43 with a previous history of pre-eclampsia or other related complications.
I am reluctant to see a doctor because I lost faith in the medical profession long ago due to so many negative things said during my last pregnancy. It will be re-assuring to hear from older mums who have been through similar situations as well as get some advice on how to conceive naturally without any medical intervention.

Thanks in advance
Cookie

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Trish, 43, Scottsdale, Arizona, US

I would love to hear from anyone 43 or older trying to conceive.  I myself married later at 38 and got pregnant right way and had my first baby at 39 in June 01, no complications and a healthy baby boy...he was actually 2 days late. I began trying in Spring of 04 (age 42) and got pregnant first try using ovulation predictor, but miscarried at 5 weeks.  I tried one more time that summer, didn't become pregnant...so we kind of gave up and said we would just have the one.  Well, in Sept. 04 I became pregnant again, not using anything.  At 17 weeks went to have an amino and discover on ultrasound there was no heartbeat.  I just had a D&E on Dec. 31, 04.  I just don't know if I should keep trying, I don't seem to have a problem getting pregnant, it's just hoping the eggs are healthy...I definitely won't make any announcements and I'll keep it from my husband too for as long as I can.  Telling everyone is the hardest it seems.  I'm almost determined to have just one more, but I won't keep putting everyone through disappointment. I would love to hear your stories and word of encouragement, especially if you have been able to have a baby after several miscarriages in your 40s....thanks lady's and Happy New Year...Trish

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Karen, 39, New Jersey, US

I know that I am on the young side of old-- age 39.

I am a single woman with a partner, and when we were only dating 3 months, I conceived my beautiful daughter.  She was born when I was 38 and is currently 10 months old.  Prior to that,I thought that I would probably not make the biological clock dead-line and remain childless.

Low and behold, I am accidentally pregnant again!  I am in shock, as is my 53 year old partner.  He thinks we are too old for yet another child and there are money issues.  He has athritis very bad and may not be able to continue to work.  He also has a 24 year old son who rolled his
eyes about the first child.  And he is afraid of chromosomal abnormalities due to both of our ages.

But I feel that when you pray for something so long and you finally recieve your gift, you can't refuse it.  If it is God's will for me to have two mid-life babies, so be it.  I wanted one, but am getting two.

We'll see if I end up doing this alone.

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Siobhan, 47, Ireland

My name is Siobhan. I am Irish living in the Republic of Ireland. I am 47 years old and have been trying for 3 years to have a baby with my new partner. We had a miscarriage 3 years ago and had unsuccessful IVF in September. The problem I understand is my eggs, which are just too old. I got one grade 9 egg, which is the highest grade, but as I said it didn’t work. We had all the tests; there is nothing 'wrong' with my partner or I except for the age of my eggs. My FSH level is high - is there any way to bring this down?  I had 2 miscarriages in my 20s and a successful pregnancy when I was 39 - sadly my daughter was killed in a car accident when she was 3 months old - this broke my marriage up.

Please all you mums out there if you know of anything that might work for us, please let me know. I have thought of herbalists etc but don’t know where to start. Is there any way to make your eggs better - could a special diet work? I was told I could try egg donor but don’t know if I want to go down that road.

Love to you all you are all in my prayers
Siobhan

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Patti, 43, Pennsylvania

Hi.  I live in Pennsylvania.  I just turned 43 years old and I am trying to conceive.  I am the mother of a 23 year old from a previous marriage and the mother of a 2 year old.  I conceived my little one at 40 with no problems.  Since then I got pregnant on my own (while nursing) at 41 and 42 but miscarried.  The last one was 2 months ago.  My baby had an extra chromosome but I am still devastated..

Now I am seeing a RE and have gone through two cycles of injectables with no luck.  I am beginning to think I am too old and don't have a chance.   I would like to correspond with other people who are 43 or older who have conceived or are trying.

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Susan, 48, Suffolk, UK

My name is Susan and I live in North Suffolk with my partner John.  We have seven children between us - five over 18 years old and eighteen month old twins.  I would love to meet other older mums from my area who are in a similar situation.  I enjoy spending time with all my children, playing squash, running, reading and very amateur photography.

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Beth, 43, Michigan, US

Hi!  I am currently a mother of a 17 year old son and 13 year old daughter.  I was married for a long time but have been divorced for 4 years.  I finally met a man who I thought was going to be my partner for life.  We moved in together and last week I found out I am pregnant.  However, this week he physically hurt me and I know it has to be over. I don't know what to do.  I have wanted another child for so long but I know I will be on my own with this one.  I stayed home and raised my other children, but know I will have to work and put this child in daycare. Finally, my unborn child is biracial which adds an extra piece to this already complicated puzzle.  Any suggestions or help on any of this would be greatly appreciated.

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Ruth, 46, Indiana, US

I'm a mum of 6. Had a girl and then a boy in my 20's, a girl and then a boy in my 30's, a girl and a boy in my 40's (age 40 and 43 perspectively).  I'm 46 now, just had my first grandchild from my oldest daughter. Got baby fever the night he was born! Decided having babies is just too fun to leave to others....if God so  will bless, we would welcome a new baby. Would love to hear from others!

Code 105


Kim, 40

My  name is Kim and I am currently trying to conceive.  I am 40 and my husband is much younger.  This will be my fourth and his first.  I would like to email other moms trying to conceive.

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Christine, 40, Melbourne, Australia

I have just turned 40 and have been trying to conceive for 3 years.

My partner and I have been in a steady relationship for nearly 20 years and have always put off having a child for economical reasons - first the house, then the car, there was never a good time.

My mother told me (about 4 years ago) she went straight into menopause after having me at 36 - she could have told me sooner.

I went through all the tests and my partner (very reluctantly) had a sperm test - it was abnormally low.

I've been thorough every website looking for ways to increase sperm count, but he will not listen to my suggestions about wearing boxer shorts etc. He also rides a bike every day and I'm worried this may affect our chances. He's stubbornly refused to think about IVF and we have got to the stage where I am frightened to talk to him about it, in case we have a row. I secrectly think he does not want kids - and this is heartbreaking for me as all my friends are now mothers. Can anyone give me advice????

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Betty, Smithtown, NY, US

I am a SAHM of 8 month old twin boys Matthew and Joshua and live in Smithtown, NY.  I am so lonely and trying to find mothers my own age to start playgroups with and just have more things in common with.  Please help me.  Thank you.

Betty

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Jemma, 42, UK

This is my second marriage to a wonderful man who is 38, I am 42 now.  I recently relocated to the UK(this past July) from Africa where I had been working as a career mum for most of my life. Would love to communicate with any other mothers over 40 in the U.K. who have children around the same age or are expecting/desire them. My oldest boy Tilay is seven and a half born Feb. 1997. Soila, number 2, turned 2 last Sunday(b. Nov. 21, 2002) and our new baby is due April 30 2005. I really understand what one goes through at this age. My children are beautiful, normal, healthy and I refuse to allow myself a complex about my age despite the fact that nearly all the mothers of young children/toddlers I meet are up to 10 years younger than me :).

When I had a nuchal fold scan at 12 weeks for this baby, the results couldn't have been more perfect and the doctor said my chances were are as good as a 35 year-old. We have chosen to have no further diagnostic tests.

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Susan, 44, Canada

I have a 2 ½ year old son that is the absolute love of my life. I did not know that I could experience the intense joy he has brought me. Now I am wondering why he should have to be an only child  but society tells me I am old to be having children. And maybe I am what about the possibility of birth defects and gestational diabetes etc. etc. It is also hard to walk away from a successful career that I have studied and worked to build over the last 20 years as if I do have another child  this one would not go to daycare. It was uplifting for me to find this site and to hear from women who are 45+ and still trying to have children. Good luck to you all.

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Gretchen, 41, Iowa, US

What a wonderful site.  I am a 41 year old mother of a just turned 4 year old daughter.  My family recently moved to near Des Moines, Iowa and I am really wanting to meet other moms of children in this age range who may be "mid-life mommies" as well.  I was delighted to find this site on a search awhile back and hope that perhaps by some luck it may put me in touch with other "mid-life mommies" in the area. 

Thanks, Gretchen.

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Mary, 39, Calgary, AB

I'm scared as can be.  I think I'm pregnant and am afraid to do a test because I am not ready to deal with this yet.  I am a very proud mother of a 4 year old little boy.  I had a very tough pregnancy with him and we decided that we would thank our lucky stars that he is healthy and
happy, and we wouldn't risk trying again.  Delivering a baby over 40 I'm sure adds a number of complications, above my already overweight situation.  I'd really like to chat with someone in a similar situation, or someone who can offer some advise.  I know that if I am pregnant, my
husband will be thrilled, and I will be too - it's just not something we chose to do and I feel out of control I guess.

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Marie, 43, Canada

Thanks for your website. I am 43 and after 1.5 years of try I am going IUI for 3 cycles now without anything. I had one m/g 1.5years ago. I saw on your celebrity page mums at 45, 49 and even 52. No information if it was their or donor egg. My doc says a lot of late pregnancies are achieved by a donor egg because by 42, 90% of eggs are abnormal.

Could you provide or do you have more information about late pregnancies? I would want to talk anyone that have baby after 43.

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Katrina, 40, Ohio, US

I am 40 years old and married for the second time to a man 5 years my junior.  I have 3 children from my first marriage - Holli (19), Savannah (17) and Jessalyn (14).  All of my pregnancies were wonderful experiences and all of my girls are beautiful and healthy.

My husband doesn't have children of his own and it was an easy decision for me to try.  It never occurred to me for a minute that I might have problems.  I am healthy and feel great.  I went off birth control, had one normal period and then became pregnant.  We were all happy and excited.

At approximately eight weeks, I miscarried.  It was such an emotional blow - not having any problems at all before, it was difficult to accept.  We knew my age might be a factor but, truthfully, I hadn't really taken it seriously.  Now I find myself somewhat discouraged even though my husband and I want to try again.  Finding this website has made me feel better and I would love to hear from other women of 'advanced maternal age' (that's what the midwife called me) who have gone thru or are going thru something similar.

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Barbara, 45, Tennessee, US

I am a 45 year old mother of a 5 year old son. In three weeks I will be turning 46. Last week my husband and I took a home pregnancy test and to our surprise we got a positive result. I have a Dr's appointment this week for professional confirmation.

My first pregnancy was picture perfect. No morning sickness, no hypertension, no diabetes , basically no complications. I did have to receive an emergency CS because the cord was wrapped around his neck. But he's just an active kid. The first time I was naive and just never thought anything could go wrong. It was my first pregnancy EVER! NOW, I'm terrified every web site and medical article predicts doom for a woman conceiving naturally at 46. It's as if I'm giving birth to Rosemary's Baby. I would like to correspond with a mother who beat the odds and gave birth at 46 to healthy child.

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Terri, 43, Tennessee, US

Hi, My name is Terri and I live in Tennessee, U.S. I have been married to my DH for almost 19 yrs. We have been blessed with four wonderful boys, 18, 14, 9 and 4 yrs. I just recently miscarried at 12 wks. This is the 3rd miscarriage in the last 2 1/2 yrs. While I am thrilled that I am still able to conceive at 43 1/2, having this last miscarriage has left me really depressed and discouraged. I've found a really great Dr. this time who has been VERY encouraging. He wants to work with me, to find out why this has happened for the 3rd time.

I guess I am writing because I need to hear from others who have this great desire for another child, at our "advanced age"!!

I am so tired of people telling me that I should be grateful for the children I already have or others looking at me like I'm crazy for even wanting to try again! Even some of my own family members don't understand.

We all need to stick together, because older moms make GREAT moms!! Hope to hear from someone soon!

Terri  

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Heather, 41, Nevada, US

I just turned 41 yesterday and am 11 weeks' pregnant with my fourth child. My sons are 20 & 17 and my daughter is 9. My husband and I are going on twenty one years of marriage and thought we were long done with babies (until grandchildren)! We had an accidental pregnancy earlier this year that ended in miscarriage at 8 weeks. I found myself longing for another baby so after
much convincing of my husband we decided to give it a couple of tries before my 41st birthday and here we are! I am very excited and nervous at the same time. There are some really scary statistics out there when you start looking. I go next week for my nuchal translucency test. I would love to hear from anyone who has first hand experience with this test and if it will tell me all I need to know. Thank you to you to Jan for this wonderful website. I have read everything on it!!

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Angel, 42, Singapore

Hi,

Just want to pen my thoughts to anyone and everyone.  I am 42 years young and unmarried.  I have one missed period and looking back, maybe 2 missed periods; the period which I had last month could be "spotting".  Since then, I have experienced increased visits to pee, constipation, loss of appetite, fatigue, lower back pain and abominal cramps.  My partner is terrified that I may be pregnant because he is a married man.  I don't know how to react.  Is this my first and only chance to be a mother?  If I am really pregnant I want to keep the baby but financially I can't do it on my own.  I have mixed feelings.  I am too scared to take a pregancy test but I know I have to do it soon if I want the baby as I need good prenatal care being an older mum.  How will my family and society view me?  Unmarried, old and pregnant!  Anybody out there has any thoughts to share with me?  I have not confided in anyone.

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Tracy, 41, Amsterdam, Holland (updated)

Having had two miscarriages I successfully conceived last year and gave birth to a perfect daughter in May 2004.  The pregnancy was heavy going as I grew so big and had horrendous heartburn, but was basically a healthy one.  Charlotte was induced as my waters broke and 2 days later she had still not arrived, but I survived to tell the tale and so did she.  She is now a very lively 5 month old baby who gives my husband and I so much pleasure.  We are so glad that we gave it a go for a third time.

I would like to say to other hopefuly mums, not to give up.

My husband and I both took the advice of Marilyn Glenville and took the vitamin supplements she suggested and also cleaned up our diets.  I do not know if this made the final difference, but what I do know is that against the odds of my age - our daughter arrived.

Tracy

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Pattie, 41, New York

I'm forty one and married for the second time 15 months ago.  We just found out that we are 6 weeks pregnant.  Everyone is happy for us.  I have four children from a previous marriage and my husband has two children.  Its hard not to be worried about every little ache and pain.  We weren't trying so this was a great surprise to us.  We have both gone with the feeling that if it is meant to be... everything will be ok.  Anyone wanting to talk, I would love to hear from you. 

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Dee, 40, Alicante, Spain

A big hello to all you mums of present and future.  I am 40 years old with a two adorable and much loved children aged 11 and 8.  My DH and I have recently decided to TTC.  Imagine my horror to discover that both sets of our parents would rather we didn't (what is it when people discover you want to continue parenting - mostly people think once your kids start school you should be rubbing your hands with glee)

I too, like one of your other mums discovered I was pregnant around 4 years ago.  It was a big shock and I could not come to terms with it, for various reasons, but in the main, had listened to my in laws (you're just getting your life back now) and just thought I would be limping along in life and not giving my all to the children I already had.

Well, we all moved to Spain around 2 years ago, are all settled, happy and well and know it would be the perfect place to bring up a baby.  Gone are my feelings of not being able to cope and having mentioned our thoughts to our children, they would be delighted to have a little baby brother or sister.  Would love to hear from anyone who just wants an e-pal to share thoughts and give positive vibes.  My only concern was the age gap between my kids, but after having read the other messages from other mums 40plus, my worries have been almost banished.

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Tania, 37, Midlands, UK

Hi Everyone, I'm a mum to three boys aged 18,9, 6 and one daughter aged 16. I would love to have another baby but had quite severe PND after my last son was born which I'm only just really over. I would like to correspond with anyone really. I do enjoy a good natter!

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Maylaine, 39, Philippines

To all mothers out there who have low level of progesterone and thin endometrium and trying to conceive a GIRL, I hope we could exchange experiences.  I found this site two years ago when I had my first miscarriage in March 2002 ( on the week of my 37th birthday). After that I decided to  forget about getting pregnant for the next two years.  I already have two beautiful sons 9 and 5 . My husband is 41.  At 39 (going on 40 next year) I had my second miscarriage last March this year (again on the week of my  birthday and a week before my graduation from graduate school). I cried so hard trying to figure out what is God's message to me. It was like a replay,  I was on my six weeks of pregnancy. It just came out like a painful menstruation. So I decided to forget about it for a few months . Then we started trying last August using Dr. Shettle's method of trying to have a baby girl (like making love every other day after bleeding , 3 to 5 days away from ovulation and shallow penetration to increase chances of having a girl). We were not so successful since most of the time we were tired and exhausted and too conscious of  the formula and the steps. We were not enjoying it anymore. Then  two weeks ago I came across an article in the internet that really shocked me, it said "women who experience spotting one week before their menstruation have low level of progesterone which results to partial infertility and early miscarriages."

I was stunned  because for two years now I always experience mild spotting a week before my menstruation and I just did not put any meaning to it . I thought it was part of growing a little older. So I self-concluded that may be the reason why I miscarried twice because of low progesterone.

Alarmed with what I found out , I went to my OB. I let her read the article and she said I should undergo a transvaginal ultrasound on the 12th day of my cycle. The ultrasound showed that I had follicles and was about to release eggs in two days so I was delighted. But then my OB  said something that really upset me. I had thin endometrium and if I get pregnant I will still lose it. She said it was caused by hormonal imbalance.  She gave me prognova, an estrogen replacement pill to help me conceive. I've read many negative effects of estrogen replacement.  I'm taking it for one week now. But am planning to stop and switch to herbal supplements like Red Clover , Dong Quai and Chasteberry (I'm a firm believer of herbs I take green tea and red raspberry leaf). My friend had  fertility pills for months as advised by her OB but she got cysts instead.

Some of my friends and in laws  discourage me from getting pregnant because they said its too late , its like starting all over again and I might suffer complications. But I don't want to believe them . I know I'm  healthy and very in command of my health . I exercise 3 days a week, eat a healthy diet (very minimal red meat), take herbal supplements and folic acid.

Sometimes I get  a little paranoia. I look at my maternity clothes often and  imagine my tummy is big .  I really want to get pregnant very very soon so I can deliver middle of 2005.  I also blame myself for not trying again soon after the first miscarriage. I gave it all to Jesus now.  And I don't anymore care if It'll be  a girl or boy. I just want another kid. Thank you for reading my story. It feels so much better to let it all out.

Code 086


Dorann, 46, New Jersey, US

Hi there.. My name is Dorann and I am from New Jersey, USA. I have been blessed with 5 beautiful children. Heather who is 20, Samantha 17, Kimberly 15, Alex 11, and Spencer age 4. I began my journey bearing children at 26 and had my last child Spencer at 42. Most of my pregnancies were easy, although I did bleed with 2 of them and had to be on progesterone suppositories.Unfortunately I had 4 miscarriages, mostly when I was younger. I am now 46 years old and am longing for another child. My husband and I have discussed it and we haven't been trying so to speak.. But we don't use protection against pregnancy. We basically said if it happens, it will happen.. I do know I still ovulate since I still get all the symptoms of ovulation and a regular period. But I did have my period twice in one month on a few occasions. I know it's a long shot to get pregnant naturally at my age and since we don't "try" to really get pregnant the odds are less. But I do know that We have been together several times when I was ovulating.. And I didn't conceive. Whereas I usually get pregnant on the first try. My last child I conceived at 41 on one try as well.. I really don't want to go through all the troubles of a fertility doctor just yet . Is there anyone out there that conceived naturally without fertility specialists at my age? Is it impossible? My doctor thinks I should try naturally first.

Code 085


Kath, 45, Yorkshire, UK

My name is Kath and I'm 45 and from the UK. After having five children of  my own and bringing up dozens of foster children I thought enoughs enough when my current children move on and as my others are now older it 's time to concentrate on me for a change and do the things I want to do. However, life's full of surprises and after the breakdown of my marriage I find myself engaged to a wonderful guy who is ten years my junior who I know would be over the moon should I become pregnant. I myself am a little unsure wether I would now like  another baby if time will allow it to happen and would love to hear from other  mums around my age who have given birth in their 40's and how they coped and the  reaction they got from family and friends also anyone like me who are with a  partner younger than they are.

Code 084


Brenda, 46, California, US

Hello.  My name is Brenda and I am 46 and I am married to a wonderful man aged 40.  We have been married 2+years and together over 4 years.  Much to our surprise, I became pregnant naturally at age 43.  That pregnancy developed normally and I felt healthy, happy and was never sick  Worked full time at my own business and had a lot of energy. We were both so happy until the results of the amnio revealed that our son was a Down's baby and was showing beginning stages of spina bifida.  The horror of making that very quick decision to terminate to protect my own health was heartbreaking.  Again to our surprise, I became pregnant again naturally at age 44, but lost that baby due to m/c after 11 1/2 weeks.  Although I have never given up hope to become pregnant again, it is hard not be realistic about the age factor.  I have given it up to God and hopefully he will answer our prayers one more time and this one will stick!  Sure is fun TTC though!  Good luck to all the over 40 ladies...trust yourselves... would like to talk to those who had to make the same devastating decision as we did and how you are coping...still think of our son every single day.  Unfortunately my husband is an only child and he is the end of the line.. would love to give him a baby...

Code 083


Melly, 41, Maryland, US

Hi, I am 41 years old and I met my husband over three years ago. My husband has a child from his previous marriage, who just turned 18. I have never felt any urges to become a mom all these years. I have been working as an educator for over 10 years, and perhaps working with children everyday is the reaon for that. We got married last May and prior to the wedding I began developing second toughts about becoming a mom. Mainly fear of regretting not having a child in the future.
For some reason, I was never concerned about the possibility of getting pregnant at age 41. I know many are struggling with becoming pregnant and this is by no means any attempt to minimize or belittle anyone, my heart goes out for you and I hope that your wi shes will be fulfilled.

I just feel that I fall into a different category and I wonder if anyone has shared the same feelings. Less than two months after our wedding we got pregnant with our first child. Even though I am pregnant, my feelings have not changed about motherhood yet, I also have many other concerns about bringing up a child to this society. Have you had any similar feelings?

I also recently moved to Maryland and would love to meet/talk with other expecting moms in or outside the area.

Code 082


Jacqueline, 41, Netherlands

This website is absolutely what I have been looking for.  I am Jacqueline (living in the Netherlands) and who has just turned 41.  Mother of 1 daughter age 7.

For the last couple of months I have been thinking about having another child but has been so stressed out over the age factor that I have not even shared this with my husband.  Short synopsis;  my daughter was born preterm (due to my high blood pressure) and I had to be in the hospital for one month before her birth.  To make matters worst during one of my check ups the doctor in question says to me "Don't try to have any more children".  Of course I was too shocked to say anything at the time, but the more I think about it, I am starting to wonder if they had found something that they weren't telling me.

Reading your website and the testimonies from the ladies has made me feel a little better.  First plan of action is to start with the Folic acid.

I would love to link up with other moms who have been there and who are still trying (like myself). Not sure whether God is laughing at the moment but He knows my heart and I am leaving everything to Him.

Jacqueline

Code 081


Tricia, 44, New Jersey, US 

Hi,

I'm wondering if there are any moms out there in my area with my same situation.  I'll be 44 years old in a few weeks and am thinking about getting pregnant for the 2nd time.  Right now I have a 4 year old daughter and would like to give her a sibling.  My family and friends think I'm crazy but I would like to go ahead and try.  I'm from New Jersey (USA) and would like to talk to someone who's in my same situation.

Tricia

Code 080


June, 45, UK (Updated on 28 Sept 2004)

My name is June and I live in Lancashire UK  would love to email/write to any older mums.  I met my partner 3 yrs ago and although I have PCO and one  blocked fallopian tube, we had an unplanned pregnancy at 45.  Unfortunately we lost the baby  7 weeks into the pregnancy but we are actively trying to conceive again, I  wish all you ladies in the same situation lots of luck!

I would like to hear from any ladies who have got pregnant around my age (46) who have had a  history of m/c and if they tried the progesterone cream while pregnant, as I am thinking of using it if I get pregnant again, but not really sure.

Code 036


Sharon, 41, Virgina, US

It is good to see that I am not the only one who would like to bring a new life into this world and being an older woman. My question is how do I raise the money to pay for the operation that I need? I had my tubes tied 8 years ago.  Now I am remarried and my new husband would like to have a child with me.  To have a tubal reversal will cost us $5,500 dollars. Can anyone suggest some ways that I could get help? I already have kids. I know that this might not seem like a lot and we will do without to save the money,  but I know time is moving along for me. Any suggestions would be great.

Code 079


Cheryl, 44, UK

I would like anyone to email me who is over 40 and trying to conceive. I have been trying for nearly 3 and half years. In that time I have miscarried twice. However, I have three healthy children from my previous relationship with whom I had problems whatsoever.  I am now married nearly five years to a good man with no children of his own and would love to at least have one child with him.  I am 44 years old now and feel that time may have run out, although I am still ovulating each month.  Any coments suggestion would be greatly received.

Thank you and God's blessing.

Code 078


Josie, 41, Toronto, Canada

I am 41yrs old and am trying to conceive. I'm sure I'll have no problems conceiving because I've been pretty regular and checked with my doc.  I'm looking for others out there to help me have a healthy pregnancy and delivery because I am quite anxious.

Thank you all

Josie

Code 076


Debra, 41, New Zealand

I am 41 years old, and have two children by a previous marriage aged 15 and 10 yrs. 9 yrs ago I had my tubes clipped, as due to my blood type was recommended by my doctor to have no more children.

I remarried two years ago, to a lovely man 10 yrs younger than myself. As he has the same blood type as myself, there aren't any risks, and so we decided to try for a baby. Last year, in October I have the tubal ligation reversed.  The specialist had run sperm tests on my husband, and the results were great, and I had a test to ensure I wasn't pre menopausal, which I wasn't. 
I conceived in April, but miscarried in Mid May - so we are trying again

My husband is very encouraging, and says we will try for at least one more year and what will be will be.  But I seem to only find books and web sites that say terrible things about woman over 35 trying to have a baby !!

To add to that, I have found since my miscarriage, that my periods come at 31 days, then 27,  then 30 again, then 26 - I don't know if it's stress, or if perhaps now I am going to go through the menopause !

If someone can offer encouraging advice, I would love to hear from you

Deb

Code 075


Gisela, 41, California, US

Glad to hear I'm not the only 41 year old that is trying to get pregnant.  I was divorced and had conceived 2 girls from my prior marriage, 14 and 12. My husband now for 3 years who is 4 years younger than me and has no children would love to start a family.  I feel so old and like other
women say no support from any of my relatives - they all feel I should feel grateful that I have them and should not try to have any others.  I hope to get pregnant soon and pray everyday for a miracle.  Loved your web site - very helpful and hopeful.  Good luck to everyone who is in the same position as I.

Code 074


Debbie, 45, Texas  (updated)

Hubby and I are still trying to get pregnant and have a sticker!! We were interrupted by the war in Iraq, he had to go. We started up the minute he got back, ( safe). I did get pregnant in June 04, only to m/c in July. We were so let down. Now, we are trying again and very excited about the possibility of holding our own little one in the new year!!!!!!!!!!  I will be 46 in Oct.

I am in San Antonio, Texas, if anyone is from this area, would love to hear from you.

Blessings to all,
Debbie in Texas

Code 073


Nancy, 42, San Diego, US

Hi,
My name is Nancy and my only son will be 2 in November.  I am 42 and my husband is 38.  Lately we have been "wishing" for another baby, but my head says I should be grateful for even having one!  He is the love of my life (besides my husband) and perfectly healthy.  After seeing this website I have hope.  I would love to meet other moms in my area (if there are any, I am feeling like the oldest mom in San Diego!) or I will just keep reading and receive inspiration from the other women. 

Code 070


Tina, 44, North Carolina, US

Would like to talk to first time trying to conceive after 44 years old.  I have never had a normal monthly cycle. About 5 months ago I started having a cycle of 38 days long and I can tell when I ovulate. I am now in the past two months on a 28-day cycle. Surprises me. I bought a saliva test and it shows I am ovulating. But is it possible to get pregnant at my age?

Code 072


Julietta, 45, Ontario, Canada

My name is julietta but I prefer to be called julie. My partner and i have been trying to get pregnant over the last two years to no avail.  We took the progeterone test for 14weeks. Eventually my family doctor refered us to a gynology for further testing. He detceted I had a problem and sent me for further testing . We found out i has suffering from endometriosis and in July he performed a laparoscopy surgey and gave me six months to try and conceive . I pray every month that this is it but I get disappionted evey time. I would really like to hear from anyone going in a similar situation as me. 

Code 071


Nancy, 42, San Diego, US 


Maria, 40, Switzerland

Hello,

I would like to meet other women at 40 who are trying to be mothers for the first time.

Maria

Code 069 (Posted 31 August 2004)


Heidi, 43, Port Angeles WA, US

Hi, I am  expecting my fifth any day, my first with my 2nd husband, I am from the UK, but now live in the USA, with my American Husband, who is wonderful, and my three children from my previous marriage, Ricky who is 15, Becky who is 13 and Katie who is 11. My eldest is 17 and he lives by choice with his dad in England. My new baby is due 30th August, making that my fourth in August. I run my own business and love it, it is a boutique selling trendy clothing and body jewelry, I love interior decorating, when I have time, especially faux finishes and doing up old furniture. I have really enjoyed this pregnancy and not found it that much different from my other ones, apart from my energy level waning quicker. I have only put on 20 pounds too, so i won't take too long to lose it either, yee ha!

I have found the web site a great place for us old uns, lol, and nice to see lots of other mums in the same or similar boat. I look forward to talking to other mums especially the ones in their second marriages too, as that can be hard sometimes

Take care Heidi Hurley

Code 067 (Posted 19 August 2004)


Margo, 42, Maryland, US  (Updated)

I emailed months ago when trying to get pregnant and was disappointed and discouraged.  Now I'm pregnant, thank God!!!  I'm 9 weeks.  Very grateful.  Have been seeing an OB/GYN with 50% of his practice over 40.  This was the first important criteria for me.  Now I'm getting pickier and thinking of  nurse midwife.  I know that OB/GYNs are into testing for everything under the sun to find out risks of every possible thing.  I want as little testing as possible since I know I want to keep this baby regardless.  Would like to hear from other older mothers who have delivered with nurse midwives. My doubt sets in that at my age, there could be complications and therefore
I should go with an OB/GYN.  Thanks.

Margo

Code 013  (Updated 10 August 2004)


Danielle, 43, Ireland

Hi my name is Danielle and I am interested in meeting other women who are trying to conceive.

I am 43 years old and have three children, 25, 22, and 10. I am with my partner two years now and I would love to have another baby. I would love to correspond with anyone who is in the same position.

I thought I was pregnant this month as my periods were 13 days overdue.However my periods arrived with a vengence and a lot of pain. My Doctor thinks it may be fibroids that caused such heavy bleeding. I dont know if fibroids prevent pregnancy?

I would dearly love to have another child and I am afraid to hope in case its too late. I would love to have an 'encouragment buddy' if anyone is interested contact me.

Code 066 (Posted 4 August 2004)


Lynda, 41, Kent, UK

I'm 41 and married my lovely younger husband (aged 27) in August 2002.  I have 3 children from my previous marriage; 2 girls  aged 17 and 15 and a 13 year old son.  My husband doesn't have any children.   We have suffered 2 early miscarriages this year which has made us both very sad. 

I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy before I had my children and I therefore am trying to conceive again at 41, with one tube and a growing neurosis about the whole process!  We have recently begun fertility testing at our local hospital to see if there's a cause for the 2 m/c's, however, I believe it was just the 'bad luck of the draw' and hope to conceive again soon.

I find I can't talk openly with my family and friends, just in general terms, as they can't really put themselves in my position (because they aren't) and I'm beginning to feel lonely and isolated even though my husband is wonderful, loving and supportive as are our  family.   I'd love some over 40 TTC female companionship and would welcome contact from anybody for a chat, mutual support etc or to meet up if local to me.

Code 065 (Posted 2 August 2004)



Babz, 41, Oldham, UK

Hi, My name is Babz. I'm 41 and I live in Oldham Lancashire with my partner Gary

Gary and I have a 13-month-old baby boy called Lewis together and I'm currently around  8 weeks pregnant with our second child.  I have 3 other kids from a previous marriage; Terri, my daughter is 19,  Sean is 16 and Ryan is 11 years. Sean lives with his Dad because it is near his school .

I had cholestasis of pregnancy when carrying Lewis, which is quite rare in UK and makes mum quite poorly and itchy and is life threatening to baby. Having lots of scans was very reassuring, but the worry of harming my baby with this disorder was frightening

Now I find myself pregnant again and the worries are there again!   Do I have an amio?  what will I do if I get a bad result?

Just having someone to talk to who's maybe been in that position I think helps a great deal.

With love and hugs Babz   xxx

Code 064  (Posted 2 August 2004)


Marilyn, 47

Hi, my name is Marilyn Flowers 47 years old and just recently married the man of my dreams on Valentine's day this year.  I have 3 sons that are grown and here I am wanting another baby.  I went to the doctor to make sure that I am in good health.  I have no health problems what so ever and the one thing I want more than anything is to give my younger husband a baby.  I know I "m still able to but we been trying since we got married and nothings happened.  I'm not giving up because my girlfriend who has been trying for 10 years has finally given birth to her first baby at 45 years old.  And she reallly keeps me motivated.  But I would still like to hear from anyone out there with similiar problems.  I will not give up but I havent seen a fertility specialist.  They seem hard to find in my area.  If anyone know of a good doctor I can go to nearby please let me know.  Thanks!!

Code 063


Theresa, 46, Colorado, US

I'm going to be 46 years old tomorrow and have been blessed with a daughter conceived via intrauterine insemination at the age of 39. My husband and I have desperately tried to conceive another child for the last 4 years.  I have had 2 miscarriages, one at 42 and one at 44.  The last year or so I have basically given up.  But then again there is a part of me that says there still is hope.  My mother conceived her last child at the age of 45 and my grandmother at the age of 44. I guess if its meant to be it will happen.  The thought of not having another child is very painful, especially when people say is that you're only child, as if it were a choice.  Anyone in the same situation -- love to hear from you.

Theresa Lane

Code 062


Margaret, 45, Norfolk, UK

I'm aged 45 and single, living in Norfolk, UK

I went through an early menopause at age 41 and then went down the adoption route, but decided for various reasons this wasn't right for me.  I'm now about to try to become pregnant with denotated embryos which feels like a superior kind of adoption.  I am excited and scared but also absolutely sure this is what I want to do.  I wonder if anyone else looking at the website has done this?  I'd also be keen to be contacted by older mothers living nearby.

Best wishes.

Margaret

Code 060


Bridget, 41

I am 41 soon to be 42 this November. My husband will be 55 in December. We have a daughter that turned 6, July 4th. We miscarriaged two years ago. I have been seeing a Specialist and taking Clomid off and on. I want to get my body ready for this wonderful blessing but don't know where to start with diet, excerise and vitamins.

Can someone help me? I also want to know how the ovulation kits work.

Please e-mail me with any information. God will bless you in return.

Bridget

Code 059


Sharon, 50

I've just turned 50 and have 3 older children by my previous marriage. My current husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost 3yrs.now.  We've tried everything but donor egg.  I've been going to an accupuncturist and herbalist for over 1yr.  My husband and I long to have a child of our own.  I'm just about ready to stop the accupuncture too.  I'm tired of the dissappointments cycle after cycle.   We did give donor egg and adoption some thought, but the cost of both is way out of range.

Is there anyone out there who has conceived after 50?
Shar

Code 058


Laurie, 44, New York State, US

Hi,

I am wondering if there are any moms or other women who have similar stories to mine. I am 44, have a healthy 19 and 5 yr old. I have had 3 miscarriages and also had to make a heartbreaking decision to terminate a recent pregnancy due to a Down's Syndrome diagnosis. My husband is all for giving up...he's 48. I am finding it very emotional to think I cannot have another child although the pain of what I have been through hurts greatly. I was wondering if there are any others who might shed some light.
Laurie

Code 057


Linda, 43

I'm looking for anyone and everyone who got pregnant with their own eggs at 43 or above.  I just went to the doctor, and she's now encouraging me to go the donor egg route, since I'm spending too much money, and she suggests I go for "a sure thing" rather than waste anymore money on my own eggs.  Anyway, I'm kind of sad about this, and still have hope to keep trying until
the end...whenever that will be in my mind.  I also had a day 3 FSH test today, and it was 11; not a good sign.  It was 9.3 in March of '03, 6 in February '04 and now 11 in July.  I was just reaching out for hope, and if anyone else is out there, maybe they could tell me what worked for them.

Code 056



Feyp, 44, Hong Kong

Hello,
I am a working mother, age 44 now and wish to conceive another baby again. I got my first pregnancy at the age of 38 and now at 44 wish to have another one. I would like to be a part of your team to boost my spirit that I can still have a chance to have another pregnancy.
Looking forward...

Feyp

Code 055


Rosanna, 44, Italy

I am 44 (45 in September) and live in Italy, and my husband is 50, we have four children 16,11,7,5. Two years ago I got pregnant and it was a terrible shock, and at a very bad moment, so I didn't hesitate to abort. But since then I have been racked with guilt, and since last year have been actively trying to conceive, with no results.....

Love to hear from anyone else in similar position.

Rosanna

Code 054


Lynne, 45, UK

I live in the UK,  am 45 and have 3 children. The youngest is nearly 9 and I have just found out that I am pregnant.  I had pre eclampsia in my other pregnancies and would like to correspond with someone who has been or who is in a similar situation.

Thanks
Lynne

Code: 053





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